Enough positivity! It’s time to be negative and cynical for once. We’re going to discuss all of the stuff you’re not going to see on Disney+!
Who knows… maybe after this you won’t even buy it!
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Oh, who am I kidding? Of course you will.
1. ‘Into The Woods’
We start off our list of disappointing things about Disney+ with this awesome musical from 2014.
Maybe they’re not adding it because… well, I have no idea why they wouldn’t add it, to be honest.
2. ‘Planes: Fire & Rescue’
What? Oh no! The sequel to the Cars spinoff isn’t going to be on Disney+?
Well, if there’s one person in the world outraged by this, please comment so I know who you are.
3. ‘The Lone Ranger’
Well, it’s no surprise this movie won’t be on Disney+.
It was a flop critically and financially. Plus, a whole lot of people got mad at Johnny Depp for this one.
4. ‘John Carter’
Well, this rip-off of Avatar (which itself was a rip-off of so many movies, so it’s a rip-off on many levels!) didn’t make the cut for Disney+.
Sorry, John Carter . Better luck next streaming service.
5. ‘G-Force’
This movie about spy Guinea Pigs isn’t going to make it to Disney+. I know, I know, it’s almost unbelievable.
Please, no, keep back your tears. Save them for a better movie.
6. ‘Bridge To Terabithia’
Remember those tears I was talking about? You can bring them back now.
Not only because this movie isn’t making it to Disney+, but also now you have to remember the ending of Bridge To Terabithia .
7. ‘National Treasure’
Well… it’s safe to say that Disney+ is not worth buying.
If they’re not going to have this national treasure on their streaming service, they won’t be getting my business.
8. ‘Holes’
What? Are you kidding me? They’re neglecting the movie that defined a whole generation? That solidified Shia LaBeouf as a movie star?
Well, I’m not just shocked, I’m also offended.
9. ‘Tarzan’
Wha… What’s the point of keeping this one off of Disney+?
I understand some of the other ones, but they’re going to keep Tarzan off! It was the end of the Disney renaissance!
10. ‘Prince Of Persia’
Bet you didn’t know this was a Disney movie. Bet you didn’t see this movie at all. Unless, of course, you’re Jake Gyllenhaal. Who knows I’m only joshing, some people saw the movie.
Mad people.
11. ‘Frankenweenie’
No! This Tim Burton classic… er… iconic… um… alright this Tim Burton movie isn’t going to make it on to Disney+!
That’s pretty lame, this movie was actually pretty decent.
12. ‘Million Dollar Arm’
Well, the only reason this wouldn’t be on Disney+ is because Disney forgot they made this movie. Heck, I’m fairly sure that everyone forgot this movie existed.
Well, until now at least.
13. ‘Song Of The South’
What? This undeniably racist Disney film isn’t going to be on Disney+? Well color me surprised, but not you Disney.
You and this movie should stop trying to be this colorful.
14. ‘Mighty Ducks’
This one I can kind of understand… it does feature a guy drinking and driving. But then again, they should keep Dumbo off if they’re so anti-drinking.
It’s an animal getting drunk, don’t tell me I’m wrong!
15. ‘Cool Runnings’
Are they… are they keeping this movie off of Disney+ because it’s racist? Is it racist? I dunno… maybe I’m not woke enough to comment on this movie.
Nevertheless, it’s not going to be on Disney+
16. ‘Air Bud’
Well, this is an insult to dogs everywhere. Where else are they supposed to find an idol? Paw Patrol ? That movie is a cartoon and just not realistic.
Not like Air Bud .
17. ‘Homeward Bound’
Alright, another insult to dogs everywhere! Does Disney have something against dogs or something?
I know they have something against cats. I’ve seen the Lion King . Many, many times.
For more answers, check out the Twitter page.
If one of your favorite movies wasn’t mentioned on this list, don’t worry, it still might not make it to Disney+!
Just check out Not On Disney+ on Twitter. Never give up on disappointment!
