Well, you should probably get used to these rules, folks.
Eventually, we will all be bought out by the Disney corporation. Bend the knee now folks, take my word for it.
There is nothing wrong with the Disney corporation.
These rules aren’t forced on Disney stars, no, they’re happy to follow the strict guidelines of our caring and benevolent overlords. As am I. As you all should be.
Let’s go through our new rules of life, shall we?
1. The women were not encouraged to change up their looks.
Every woman who works for Disney must keep the way they look.
They like to document kids growing up sure, but essentially you’re meant to look a certain way in order to keep the Disney image appealing.
2. Disney has the right to own your name.
As they should, because it’s not like we needed it anyways. This was a problem for Miley Cryus when she wanted to get away from the Hannah Montana scene because Disney claimed they owned the name “Miley”.
Because it was her character on the show.
3. They’ll teach you how to speak and act.
In public, at least. They taught Bella Thorne to speak in a higher voice for her character, and then politely but firmly asked her to talk the same way in interviews.
Sometimes, they even graciously teach people how to write.
4. If you pass away, they’ll still use you.
This isn’t so much of a rule, but we’ve definitely seen it happen.
This was evident during Rogue One: A Star Wars Story when they brought Peter Cushing back through the miracle of CGI.
5. You must always be ready and willing to be a role model.
Everyone must be a role model anyway, so why not adopt this rule in real life?
Selena Gomez recalls her time as a Disney star, and how she was taught from a young age how to be a role model.
6. You must pay for damaged property.
Which only makes sense. Back in the days of the Mouseketeers, if you damaged one of those Mickey Mouse hats you would have to pay 50$.
Damaging a Mickey Mouse hat? Sacrilege.
6. Disney shows have to have a female main character.
Notice how a lot of them star women?
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That’s because the Disney corporation, in all their genius and glory, likes to make sure that girls everywhere have a starring role in their products.
7. Dating within Disney was not forced but implied.
While not a forced rule, not only does it happen, but people are likely to develop crushes on the same people since it’s all like one big happy family.
Selena Gomez and Nick Jonas, Justin Timberlake, and Britney Spears, all were affected by this rule.
8. Some song lyrics wouldn’t be allowed if they were not PG.
Of course, you wouldn’t want anyone to pick up bad morals.
According to Joe Jonas , even a lyric referencing him being alone in a room with a girl was too much for Disney.
9. Working long hours is something that happens often.
Idle hands are the devil’s plaything! Disney believes that to a tee.
They loved it when their child stars worked long hours, and often they had them do so.
10. You must be able to sing and dance.
Because Disney is known for its wonderful singing, the people in their shows have to know how to sing as well.
Selena Gomez, Raven Symone, and Miley Cyrus sing the opening themes for their shows. And a lot of them dance, too.
11. The stars have to go through special training.
Some Disney stars must dodge tough interview questions, so they go through something called “media training”.
This gets them ready for when they’re asked hard questions by hard, mean people.
12. Some Social Media Might Require Some Permission
This is mostly for the kids that appear on the Disney channel’s glorious TV shows, but some have to run some social media posts by Disney.
We wouldn’t want them making the company look bad, would we?
13. There shall be no risky business.
The Disney Corporation must always keep a wholesome look to it, so if you’re caught in risqué pictures or videos then you are going to be excommunicated.
Looking at you, Miley.
15. Purity rings on every finger.
Okay, maybe not every finger. But back in the day, nearly every Disney star sported a purity ring on their ring finger, from the JoBros to Selena Gomez to Vanessa Hudgens.
While some people think this was more religious than forced by Disney, there have been rumblings that Disney highly encouraged the wearing of the rings to promote a wholesome image.
14. Your style is not your own.
It’s your character’s. Disney wants you to look, sound, and act like your character at all times so kids watching can really believe you are them.
Like Ashley Tisdale told People , ““They will just style you how you’re styled on your TV show so I looked like my character [Maddie Fitzpatrick] at all times when I was going out.”
15. It’s not all bad, though — you get to go to summer camp!
Sure, they might control every aspect of your life, but they’ll also send you and all your friends to Disney World!
Nick Jonas revealed that, “They would collect all of us from the different shows and then put us together at Disney World. Really, it was like summer camp. We had the park to ourselves some nights.”
And just like real summer camp, there was obviously some drama going on.
“Lots of drama because we were all dating each other,” Nick added. “It’s like high school.”
I guess that makes sense, since Disney did love to encourage inter-Disney relationships. What a romantic teenage getaway!
