Alright movie industry, it’s time that you and I had a little chat.
We’ve seen these cliches a hundred times (that’s why they’re cliches) and in the words of Filthy Frank: It’s time to stop!
1. The Keys Are Always In The Car
And the doors are always unlocked to boot! Who does that? You’re essentially saying: “yeah sure, go ahead and take my car”.
But seriously though, has anyone ever put their keys in the mirror?
2. Women Running In Heels
I’ve never personally worn a pair of heels, but from what I understand they cannot possibly be comfortable to run in.
Otherwise, you’d see women at the gym wearing them.
3. The Hero Always Has A Social Outcast Friend
Bonus points if that social outcast ends up turning on the villain as well!
But no, most of the time they’re the nerd who will do something heroic and get the supporting girl, who will inevitably be way out of his league.
4. Remote Places With Giant Versions Of Animals
Oh, look! An uncharted island in the middle of (inevitably) the Bermuda Triangle!
Will we find some sort of new bacteria there? Maybe a new turtle? Nope! Just giant spiders and other huge animals.
5. Stealing Another Person’s Uniform
The classic “knock someone out and take their uniform to infiltrate X” has been in spy, heist and some comedy movies since the beginning of time.
Clothing sizes don’t exist! They’re not a thing!
6. Aliens Want Us All Dead
No, they don’t want to establish contact with a brand new species from another planet.
They just want to kill us because… because… because we’re different from them? Because we’re lame?
7. The Final Words
Doesn’t matter how you die, could be a bullet to the heart or an explosion in your face if you’re in a movie you will always say something important or deep.
8. Zombies Will Always Catch Up
Even if you’re running and they’re shambling along behind you, somehow they will always be right on your tail.
Maybe the magic that brought them to life keeps them speedy.
9. Opening Doors On Aircrafts Is Easy!
Especially if the plane is barreling down towards the earth at 20,000 miles per hour.
All you need to do is fight through the pressure and you’re good to go!
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10. Drug Deals Never Go Right
Personally, I have never done or even participated in a drug deal, but from what I hear they often go somewhat smoothly.
In movies, however, at least three people need to die before the drugs are exchanged.
11. Never Read Books Aloud
Whether you’re in a horror movie or not, it’s advisable to keep the words in the spooky book that you’re reading to yourself.
There’s a good chance it will set off some sort of spell.
12. Shooting A Car Makes It Explode
Even if you hit it right in the gas tank I don’t know if you could make a car explode by shooting it.
Of course, this method never works if the hero is driving.
13. The One With The Least Practical Weapon Will Usually Win
Mostly in martial arts movies, say a skilled samurai grabs himself a sword. A blade that he has been training with for years. And he approaches the hero… who has a broomstick.
Guess who’s going to win?
14. “Do you think we’ll get out of this?”
Don’t ask this question, because most of the time you won’t get an honest answer.
Especially if you’re a woman or a child, the hero will tell you “yeah sure, we’re fine”
15. You Can Spot Loved Ones In Crowds Instantly
Whether you’re a racecar driver finding your future bride, or a performer on stage looking at a crowd and seeing the girl you like, there’s a good chance you’ll see your loved one in a crowd.
16. If You’re In War: Don’t Carry Mementos
Because if you do, and you happen to be in a war movie, you’re going to die.
Also never mention it to your squadmates, and never tell them you have one day left on tour.
