If you like your drama with soon-to-be-married couples and secret stripper liaisons, you’ve absolutely come to the right place.
A Redditor recently asked if she was in the right for spilling the beans about a stripper’s presence at a bachelor party.
“Am I the [jerk] for telling someone the night before their wedding that their fiancé had a stripper at the bachelor party behind her back?”
So begins the spicy story .
So, as background, OP’s boyfriend recently attended the bachelor party of his best friend. This friend’s fiancé had explicitly stated that she didn’t want any funny business involving strippers at the party.
So yeah, they hired a stripper.
Of course they did. The night before the wedding, it sounds like everyone and their mother knew about the stripper — everyone, that is, apart from the bride-to-be.
With a little liquid courage, OP and another wedding guest decided to let the bride know.
“We both knew that we would be absolutely embarrassed if we were in the same situation as her and we would want to know.”
OP tried to casually let the bride know.
“The conversation was along the lines of, ‘Wow, your bachelorette party sounded very fun. Did you also have a stripper?'”
It isn’t the smoothest way to break the news, but it was effective.
“Oh, you didn’t know he had a stripper?”
“This resulted in her getting in an argument and them fighting the entire night before their wedding,” wrote OP. “Obviously the groom was very upset … so he made us apologize or we wouldn’t be allowed to go to the wedding.”
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Long story short, they did apologize, the wedding went on, and everyone got on with their lives.
So was OP right or wrong?
The Reddit jury has concluded that OP was not the jerk in this scenario, but there was still an interesting array of responses.
On the OP-isn’t-a-jerk side of things, here’s a typical response : “Telling her was right. She deserved to know the truth. Him uninviting you to the wedding if you didn’t apologize seems defensive on his part. That is a breach of trust on the groom.”
Maybe OP was just looking for trouble.
“She said she knew it would start a fight between the bride and groom,” wrote one commenter. “And even if she didn’t say that, of course she knew that would happen, and so that was precisely what she intended.”
Lots of commenters agreed that telling the bride was the right choice, but that the timing was a tad dramatic.
What would the stripper think?
Here’s an interesting perspective : “I used to BE the party stripper and I was always disgusted by those whose wives/partners didn’t know. I’d give them a terrible lapdance. I think my fave was when the spouses joined in.”
Is everyone in the wrong?
Some replies concluded that basically everyone sucks in this situation.
“I totally agree that you should have told the bride…either weeks before the wedding or weeks after,” wrote one. “Not the NIGHT BEFORE. Having a stripper at a bachelor party when you weren’t supposed to is generally not a marriage-ending thing, and unless you had reason to believe that she would call off the wedding, there is no reason to tell her when you did.”
Should OP have stayed sober?
Remember, they wrote that they only told the bride after ingesting some liquid courage.
“I think my biggest problem is the ‘in a drunken moment’ decision-making portion,” one Redditor weighed in . “You got drunk and dropped a bomb just to watch the shrapnel fly. Kind of [a jerk] thing to do.”
How would you handle this?
Again, even though there was a wide range of opinions, OP is officially not the jerk here according to Reddit, even if it was a bit close.
Check out the original thread and let us know in the comments what you think of OP’s actions.
