What? They have to follow rules on this show? What, like don’t take too many snacks at the craft table or something?
Oh, they actually mean the real biker gang… huh, well.
Alright…
So, you wanna be a part of the Sons Of Anarchy biker gang, huh? Well, there’s gonna be some rules you have to follow. Rule number 1: There are no rules.
I’m just kidding, there’s actually about 14. We like to have fun here!
1. You Always Gotta Be In Gear
Alright, new wheels (that’s what we like to call rookies around here, kind of a cute little tradition we have) you’re expected to wear Club Clothing at all times. A leather jacket with patches and jeans are preferred.
Yes, you can take them off when you shower.
2. You gotta have a bike to vote.
We here at the Sons of Anarchy respect the democratic process.
However, only members with bikes can vote. People who lose em’ or prospects, like you, have no say in anything.
3. Decisions Apply To Everyone
We here at Sons of Anarchy are a very democratic institution.
Once a decision is made, it applies to everyone in the MC. And yes, that does include the president.
4. No Hard Drugs
We do a lot of bad stuff as a gang: we make loud noises, we litter, we call cops mean names, but one thing we don’t do is sell hard drugs.
5. “The Prison Clause”
Alright, so in our gang, there’s a thing called “the prison clause”.
If you go to prison (and you will) then your old lady gets to shack up with any other member she wants.
6. Prospects = Servants
Alright New Wheels, you’re what’s called a prospect.
So whatever a member tells you to do, especially if it’s the President, you better hop to it and do it.
7. Ride In Formation
When you’re going on a ride, make sure that you do so in formation that means the President or Vice-President in front, or if they’re not on the ride, then the Road Captain will lead the pack.
8. Stay In Territory
One thing is most important to a gang: and that’s the territory that they control.
Go into another gang’s territory and you’re looking for trouble. If any other gang comes into ours, they’re looking for the same thing.
9. Ride A Harley
Obviously, if you want to be in a super cool biker gang, make sure you ride a super cool Harley.
No crotch rockets here, just the loudest most annoying motorcycles you can find.
10. Loyalty Comes First
Before anything else. Consider loyalty to the club your bae.
Everything else is secondary, New Wheels. Your old lady, your family, I mean every single gosh darn thing in the world.
11. Ex-Members Must Remove All Club Tattoos
Listen, man, should we let you into the club, you’ll be happy, I’m sure. It’s cool to be in a biker gang, don’t listen to what your mom says.
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However, if you ever get kicked out, you better get rid of those club tattoos. Or else.
12. No Non-Whites
This is the real world of motorcycle gangs, New Wheels. The Sons Of Anarchy tend to stick to their own race.
You’ll be hard pressed to find a member that isn’t of Irish/Scottish/English/Northern European descent. White, I’m trying to say white.
13. Don’t Harm Another Man’s Pet
Listen, there are a few things that are sacred in this world. The lord, a man’s children and of course, his dog.
Should you hurt any fellow member’s dog (or cat) then that would be breaking a rule.
14. Never Leave A Brother Behind
This is the most important rule, New Wheels. Y
ou might fight with your brothers from time to time, but always remember they’re just that: your brother. Never leave him behind.