Life affords us with many opportunities to choose our own adventure. And unlike the kids’ books, we’re not forced into one or two different options. No, we have the whole world at our doorsteps. Here are some of life’s endless possibilities.
Don’t think too hard about it.
You know, when it’s spelled out like that it almost sounds weird. But the guy is happy, the duck is happy and the dogs are happy. Let’s not read too much into it.
Sweet, sweet free power.
I wouldn’t recommend treating your phone that way, but it’s almost worth it to get some of that free juice from the subway network. Take that, local transit commission.
Weird flex but okay.
I guess pizza chains have turf wars. This Domino’s has shut down Papa John’s and seems to think Pizza Hut is next. But what’s their gameplan if a Little Caesars rolls into town?
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It’s not stupid if it works.
Fake eyelashes aren’t exactly easy to take on and off. But by affixing them to something that can easily be swapped out, you can change your look on the go — and baffle your friends who wonder where your eyelashes went.
Let me sing you the song of my people.
This might look somewhat horrifying, but this mascot creature has a song to sing, and no wardrobe issues are going to stop it from singing about whatever mascots sing about.
Carpe doggem.
When you set your camera timer, you’re just asking for photobombers to get involved with your carefully planned pic. This dog saw an opportunity, didn’t hesitate and totally stole the show.
Don’t mess with him.
In the world of landscaping, there’s a certain hierarchy. There are your grunts who can barely be trusted, your healers who administer potions to dying grass, and then your tanks (seen here).
I’m coming, Jennay.
Who knows who this guy is, but I’ll bet he has a weird way of intersecting with historical figures and gives a terribly awkward interview. Knows a lot about shrimping though.
If the customer is always right, I’m waiting in this washroom until an employee comes in and thoroughly scrubs my hands. It’s a jerk move, but the place practically guarantees it.
This guy: 1. Apple: 0.
This guy sees Apple’s $999 stand and has answered with something virtually unbeatable. In the tech industry, this kind of visionary is known as a disruptor of the paradigm.
Squad goals.
When you get dressed up, don’t you kinda just wish you were wearing PJ pants and housing a bag of Doritos? Well, you’re in control of your own destiny.
Controlling the narrative.
Sure, you could look at this pic and think it encapsulates fragile masculinity. But if you’re 5’11” and want to look like you’re 6’6″, what other choice do you have?
Is this art class?
The best part about taking notes in class is that your prof never knows exactly what’s on your screen. You could take notes, or you could get in touch with your artistic side.
Seamless.
You can get that flatscreen look for an unbeatable price if you’re okay with having a big CRT TV butt intruding into the next room. Just make that one the guest bedroom.
Nintendo is getting out of hand.
First they give us detachable controllers, then crazy cardboard VR creations, and now some hyper-realistic game that apparently revolves around pyromania? There’s no excuse not to go out and buy a Switch now.
4D chess.
Sure, this would be a dumb move for an escaped convict. But for the nervous sort who needs to feel protected, it’s the best way to ensure that the authorities are always looking out for you.
That tree was a big part of the team.
Looking at it one way, the guy on the right was totally upstaged by a tree. But looking at it another way, that’s some nice work by the tree to work its way into the spotlight.
Ready for a marathon.
We all know how insane the markups are on movie theater popcorn and soda. This girl clearly paid movie theater prices for bulk snacks, and now she’ll never have to leave her seat.
They will always find you.
You’ve blocked their number and yet they still manage to leave you a million voicemails. Now they know where you pee.
Kudos to the person being creative in their bathroom graffiti.
Way better than a tow.
At least for the person whose driveway someone keeps thinking is a good place to park their motorcycle.
That’s not a lion.
But the illusion is spot on. It’s actually a mastiff, which means it’s time for our yearly reminder not to shave double-coated dogs.
I need a follow-up tweet.
Did the retweet result in some extra luck?
Also, does the frozen pizza cost $115 or the badger? Asking for a friend.
“Punch it, Chewie!”
This image’s caption notes that they get funny looks when driving down the street. If that dog’s name isn’t Chewbacca, then they’re doing it wrong.
The perfect portrait.
Some pet portraits are nice but don’t quite capture the dog’s personality. Not this one. This one is the best.
Adulting done right.
Who needs a fancy dinner when you’ve got blue box mac and cheese and a bottle of wine? Eating directly from the pot gives bonus points.
Yeah, I’d shame them too.
I give them credit for not naming names, assuming that the driver didn’t dash off before providing their insurance info.
Lifehack.
I really can’t stand spending money on pre-ripped jeans, but this is a pretty clever solution for when you need two hands and there’s no table nearby.
Fair warning.
True, a parent needs to teach their kids to be careful, but accidents happen and this is a handy way to inform bad parkers that they get too close at their own risk.
This pool appears to be haunted.
It’s the only explanation for the ghostly apparition between those two men.
Seriously, though, I hope he’s layered on an entire bottle of sunscreen.
Sometimes fortune cookies start drama.
Evidently the waiter reached into the wrong fortune cookie barrel. If they’d just grabbed a “Stick with your wife” cookie instead, this whole awkward situation could have been avoided entirely.
Happier than a dog in a henhouse.
One of these chickens is not like the others, and the reason for that is that one of these chickens is a straight-up dog. Still, seems to be working out well for everyone.
