It can be easy to forget sometimes that humans aren’t actually immortal and that there’s lots of ways you can get yourself in serious trouble really quickly if you’re not paying attention or if you make a decision that wasn’t thought through all the way.
An AskReddit thread has gone viral where people are sharing their own stories about the dumbest or silliest ways they’ve almost gotten themselves hurt or worse.
“A boat ran over my head in a lake once.”
“I saw the propeller go right past my face,” shared one Reddit user, and he wasn’t alone.
“Same thing happened to me, I didn’t see the propeller come by my face but it went right over the wave runner seat after the boat hit me in the head and knocked me off,” another added.
Another shared how important it is to put your car in park.
“Got out of my truck to close the gate. Luckily heard the vehicle rolling back towards me because I failed to put the gearshift all the way into park and it popped into reverse. The door was open and it would have pinned me against the metal gate post. It still creeps me out 15 years later.” they wrote.
For some, it was a simple matter of curiosity.
As one Reddit user said, they almost met their end by “inserting a paper clip into a light switch.”
I’ve kind of always wondered what would happen if you did that.
This is why I only listen to boring music while crossing the street.
“Walking down the street, zoning out to some Iron Maiden or ACDC CD in my Discman, thinking about the sweet-ass time I’m going to have with the Sega Genesis or SNES game I just rented. I didn’t even notice the red light looming in front of me, and I just moseyed my way into a busy road with traffic barreling down on me,” wrote on Reddit user.
Of course, the story has a happy ending.
“Thankfully, the driver was paying more attention than I was, and he stopped short of hitting me by a foot or so,” they wrote.
If I ever take my kids to the beach, I’m attaching them to me by a leash.
One Reddit user wrote, “I was about 8-9 years old and went to the beach. We had those long skinny cheap inflatable air rafts. I fell asleep laying on one and almost floated out into sea. I was awaken by some faint yells. I look up and I’m past the long pier where someone was screaming.”
Luckily, that caught their attention.
“If it wasn’t for that one stranger that saw me, I’m guessing I would’ve eventually died considering I didn’t know how to swim and my raft was deflating. I paddled back to shore and my parents didn’t even know I was gone,” they wrote.
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The wind can get you.
“A full grown tree flying towards me during a cyclone,” one user answered.
Reminds me of that Ron White joke about the dangers of a windstorm — it’s not that the wind is blowing, it’s what the wind is blowing.
This is why I don’t go jogging.
Jogging, came across a downed tree branch and some electrical cables, hopped over them casually and then was informed by the nice neighbor on their porch that I had jumped over some very live power lines that would have fried me quite well.
The dangers of staying dry.
“I was drying off after taking a shower. For some reason I was using a Christmas themed towel that had been around a few years and had some loose threads throughout. I was drying off my face and I guess I inhaled through my mouth and one of the threads wrapped itself around uvula. I just gagged on it and was able to very slowly pull it out, but it took a few seconds and I was starting to get dizzy. When it came out I was left with a very sore throat and was gasping for air,” shared one user.
They learned from that experience.
“It is humbling to know that I could’ve easily been found naked, wet, and dead with a towel in my mouth,” they added. “I now take a deep breath and hold it before bringing a towel to my face. I also frequently purchase new towels.”
They weren’t the only one with a towel-related near death incident.
“Towels are deadly. I once had my foot get caught up in a little hole my towel had, so I couldn’t put my foot down. I about to fall and hit my head with the very sharp edge of the sink if ir wasn’t for the toilet lid being closed and me using that to stop me from falling with my other hand,” shared one user.
Kids make dumb decisions.
“As a kid I swallowed about 15 pennies because I was acting like a piggy bank,” shared one Reddit user.
Well, it made cents at the time.
“Swallowed a grape whole.”
“Did the throw it up in the air thing and it got perfectly lodged and I immediately stopped breathing. Absolutely terrifying, after a hot minute of my life flashing before my eyes, I was able to calm myself and it moved down slightly so I could shallow breathe just over the top of it, but every time I tried to swallow it would move and I’d stop breathing again,” wrote one Redditor on the risks of eating healthy.
“I was rushed to the ER and had emergency surgery to have it removed.”
“Got asked about three times why I didn’t just chew it…because I’m a dumb-ass. And no, I wasn’t eight years old at the time, I was about 22.”
I don’t know about you all, but I’m suddenly feeling a lot better about myself.
