Many husbands and wives oftentimes struggle with having a newborn at home.
When having a new baby , the dynamic of a relationship can change a lot. When both parents are working, or even one parent is working , time shared with the child can be an ongoing issue.
Sometimes, husbands who work a lot feel they don’t have to “tap in” and help with the baby as much.
One wife recently wrote to Reddit seeking advice about her husband and a situation they had going on at home.
The stay-at-home mom and her working husband have a 9-month-old son together.
The mom says that her husband works very hard and he’s oftentimes exhausted after a day of work, not even being able to stay awake at the dinner table. However, he does the “nighttime” routine with their son every night.
The mom shared that her sister is getting married and the wedding is coming up.
She wanted to go get a new dress and also get her hair done because she feels she has “let herself go a lot” since becoming a mom.
Meaning, she claims she hasn’t gotten a new outfit or really “dressed up” much since having her baby.
She asked her husband to watch their son for two hours.
“I asked my husband on his day off if he could stay with our son for just 2 hours til I get back and he seemed hesitant asking lots of “what if” questions but I promised he got this and I’d be quick. He shrugged saying “fine go…but 2 hours and not a minute more,” she wrote.
The mom said she then began to get calls every 10-15 minutes from her husband while she was gone.
“Frankly, it got annoying I decided to put my phone on silent when I got to the salon but afte I checked my phone later I found over 20 missed calls and a text message from him saying I needed to get home fast because there was fire in the kitchen,” she added.
Obviously, she freaked out.
The mom called her sister, who then picked her up and they called the authorities. The mom was freaking out, as her husband said the kitchen was on fire and he and their baby was there.
When she spoke to the cops, they said nothing was reported in their neighborhood.
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When she got home, everything was fine.
Upon returning home, she saw the kitchen was fine and her husband confessed that everything was “fine” but he needed an excuse to get her home after she was out for “4 hours instead of 2” like she had said.
The mom freaked out, yelling at her husband for lying to her about a fire.
“He defended himself saying I lied to him first and made him watch our son longer than agreed upon but I said he should’ve sucked it up since this my first shopping and hair salon trip in 9 months but he asked why he should just suck it up when child care is more my responsibilty than his,” the mom wrote.
The husband insisted that his wife was the problem.
He said that she should not have “lied” to him about how long she was going to be out.
And, on top of it, she was “wrong” for telling her sister and also calling the cops to escalate the situation.
When asking Reddit, the majority of the community said the husband is definitely in the wrong.
“I think it’s pretty obvious that you’re not the A-hole. Parenting is a partnership. If all he does on his days off is sit and relax that isn’t fair to you. Because parenting is a 24/7 gig. He not only manipulated you and gas lit you. But he isn’t stepping up and playing a true role in his child’s life,” one person wrote in the comments.
Many said that this guy is a terrible husband.
“Another husband who couldn’t watch his own kid before calling the mom every 15 mins. Does he really expect you to always stay home with your son and never do anything for yourself again? He’s got to learn how to take care of your baby on his own,” another added.
Others said he’s been stripped of his “father” title.
“A father that can’t take care of his kid for 4 hours is called a “sperm donor”. Cheeses. I’ve taken care of my sister’s kids for longer stretches than that, while I was a damn teenager overloaded with schoolwork, because sometimes she just needed a little help,” one other person wrote.
Sheesh, this dad is toast.
