Marriage is wonderful life-long experience consisting of nothing but romance, good communication, tireless devotion to one another, and uncompromising fiscal responsibility.
However, for some people, this may not exactly be the case! And, if there’s one thing people love doing, it’s taking to social media to talk about their problems for other people to laugh at until they find themselves in the exact same position and wondering how they got there.
So, with that in mind, here are 15+ marriage memes that’ll turn “I do” into “I don’t care where we eat—you pick”!
A Tale As Old As Time
Let me know who the ominous and disappointed narrator is in your head when you read/hear this!
The “Stuff” Draw
This is why things shouldn’t “belong” anywhere. I like my feng shui on LSD, I find it really makes life easier — well, until you need to find your keys.
The Forbidden Fruit
In my book, there is no such thing as a decorative towel. It’s like people who save stuff for a “nice occasion”.” Just use the nice things you buy, that’s why you bought them!
Too True
Add snoring, and complaining about who won The Great British Bake Off and you’ve got my life right there.
“The secret to a successful marriage (30+ years) with a shared bathroom.”
There’s nothing quite like opening a new toothpaste and squeezing it right from the middle, it’s like watching the world tear itself in half.
The Emotional Support Donut
This is the most romantic thing you and a partner can do for one another, closely followed by making sure they don’t get vomit in their hair when they’ve had too much to drink.
“I’m not saying my husband isn’t allowed to make decisions while drinking, but this is what he ordered from room service at 2 AM.”
Yes, that is two bottles of Vodka (for $150!), scrambled eggs with cheese, and crab cakes. It is safe to say that this man is my new hero.
Can You Please Move?
Considering we have many drawers in our house, it constantly seems like everything that is of any actual use is in one drawer that my girlfriend and I are always fighting over access to. Thinking about it now, I genuinely can’t think of what’s in our other drawers.
Supersonic Hearing
This unbelievable hearing can also pick up the sound of you falling over and making a tit of yourself from anywhere in the house, so your significant other can come in and laugh at you — no matter how silently you try to keep your buffoonery.
Using The Wrong Deodorant
Okay, quite frankly, I find that deodorant aimed at women is much better and doesn’t stain your shirts as much. There, I said it!
*Snores Angrily*
I never really know what to say when someone says something like, “I had a dream last night and you were a total dick in it.”
Wow, I’m very sorry that your brain clearly hates me.
Have You Done What I Asked Yet?
I don’t even get these texts anymore as I normally forget to reply, so my girlfriend just goes straight to calling me.
*Snoring Magnitude Increases*
I only ever snore if I’ve had a few pints, or if I sleep on my side, or if I sleep on my back, or if I have a lot to eat before I go to bed, or if I don’t eat enough before I go to bed, or basically if I’m asleep in general.
“Reddit you’re ruining my marriage!”
Reddit: the primary reason why the amount of time that people spend on the toilet has tripled!
Just Throw It In And Hope For The Best
I want to design washing appliances that are much more simple, like a washing machine that only has one setting — 30º quick wash probably. I mean, who really uses all of the settings on washing appliances?
Netflix: Wake Up! Are You Still Watching?
I don’t think that my girlfriend and I have ever both gotten to the end of a film at the same time. Collaboratively though we’ve seen hundreds of movies!
Midnight Snacks
It’s worse when you both grab it at the same time and the piece of candy starts to glow meaning you have to fight to the death over it. (Anyone else remember Xiaolin Showdown other than me?)
The Crunchy Backpack Conundrum
My money would be on peanut butter being the cause, but I don’t want to imagine what else it could be. Dear lord let it be peanut butter…
“The magic of marriage”
Nope, this will never happen to me, I’ll always be the pinnacle of class and elegance. Takes another bite of Cookie Crisp while dribbling milk down three-year-old hoodie as girlfriend looks on horrified.
Where Marriages Go To Die
Getting the right light fixture is very important! We can’t all have celebrity problems like worrying about what collaboration we’ll be launching this year!
RELATED STORIES
Sharing Is Caring
If you want to do it properly you’ll need to get a protractor in the mix as well — just saying.
Managing Your Finances
Look, when you’ve got a pet octopus with an emerald problem, you’ll understand! When you see their tearful screwed face begging you for more emeralds, I hope you remember this moment!
Wise Beyond Their Years
Jokes aside, what kind of question is that for a kid to be asked? Christ, that makes the questions I got as a kid look like a piece of cake!
You Can Sleep On The Couch!
Just start cranking the heat in the living room and covering him with blankets, then this can be your life every night!
Target Vs Amazon
Amazon CEO rubs hands together and cackles maniacally from atop their throne composed of the carcasses of Target employees .
It Needed Doing…
If he doesn’t leaf-blow the attic, then who will? It’s not like anyone else is volunteering to do it!
There’s Always Time For A Last Minute Shower
Well, it’s either we jump in the shower before leaving, or you have to crack the windows, which is it?
Holiday Packing
In fairness, I always pack far too much for going on holiday. Who knows when you might need four pairs of sunglasses, a sled, and slippers shaped like pigeons when you’re traveling around Italy?
“After 22 years of marriage this is how we communicate with each other.”
Living in halls at university ruined the art of the passive-aggressive note for me. There was one too many, “Can people please stop wearing loud shoes when walking passed my room!”
Free Mulch!
Okay this one is lost on me. Are men obsessed with mulch? If so, what men? I need to meet these men otherwise I refuse to believe that this is a real thing. Let me know if you know men who are obsessed with mulch!
This was all one husband could say for himself after a pumpkin carving attempt.
It seems very appropriate that he actually tried to carve that into the pumpkin itself, but couldn’t quite get it tried.
As Bart Simpson said, “I can’t promise I’ll try, but I’ll try to try.”
Apparently, this was taken moments before the uploader heard their wife screaming.
Considering that it took me a minute to notice the spider in this photo, I can hardly blame her for the delayed reaction.
Apparently, one couple makes a game out of scaring each other with this hairdressing practice head.
And based on the wife’s latest entry in that little contest, I can only guess that she watched Se7en recently.
Apparently, this was the result of the uploader asking their husband to cook dinner that night.
I guess we can tell what kind of marriage people have by whether they recognize that this guy is de-icing the freezer so he can avoid actually cooking or whether they’re simply confused.
From the looks of it, the husband in this relationship still needs to get used to using metal straws.
If the force of habit still remains to strong, might I recommend some nice pasta straws ?