If a picture is worth a thousand words, we’ve got a good couple dozen thousand words for you to read. And, just for fun, I’ll throw some of my own commentary flavor on it for you. How’s that sound? Good? Good. Strap yourselves in, and let’s get down to it.
1. Actual footage of all the carbs I’ll be consuming this weekend.
Who am I kidding, it’s not going to be this weekend, it’ll probably just be today. I’m already starting on my first loaf of bread, and it’s only 8 a.m.
RELATED STORIES
2. And here you’ve been tanning in a bed or in the sun like a fool, not realizing there’s been an easier option all along.
Assuming buddy’s not just lying on the internet, a single pill is the dosage that people with clinical insomnia are normally prescribed. It’s a wonder he woke up at all.
3. I’ve heard of sand dollars before, but this seems a little ridiculous.
We’re all assuming that this crab is being greedy, but really, it might just be being super generous with the little money that it does have.
4. I can’t think of a single person in my life who I wouldn’t offer up this cake to.
And then I’d get upset if they didn’t gift me a cake in return. I’d make another cake that said “Thanks for nothing,” thus proving why I’d need to have a “Thanks for tolerating me” cake in the first place.
5. At this point, it’s clear that the Jurassic Park franchise is running out of steam, but that’s not going to stop them from pumping them out.
Also, let me know if have some kind of hookup where I can get a rideable dinosaur. Thanks.
6. I think I picked the wrong day to miss class.
The cookie was very loving and very tender. It appreciated what this whole experience meant to me. Then I woke up in a bed by myself, crumbs everywhere.
7. And the regretters gonna regret, regret, regret, regret, regret.
But hey, y’know what? You can’t blame a guy for caring about whatever it is that he cares about. Sure, this specific choice seems a little aggressive, but I’m not gonna be mad at him for loving something.
8. Ever seen a sign that you can’t tell if it’s either super woke or super offensive?
But seriously, if someone from the Down syndrome community would like to give me a heads up if it’s cool for me to chuckle at this, that would be great, because I’m going to be thinking about it for a while.
9. If this bear had any less personality, it would be me.
The real way that this bear is a lot like me is that someone at work recently referred to me as “an amorphous, non-sexual blob.” So I assume that this stuffed animal is what my coworkers see when they look at me.
10. Alright, sir, will you be paying today with cash, credit, or breakfast food?
The part that’s got me shook more than anything is that it looks like they’re eating graham crackers with scrambled eggs. Is that a thing?
11. I have read and reread this sign a good dozen times, and I’m still no closer to understanding the situation that’s being played out here.
My best bet is that this guy has a daughter named Auburn who just graduated and he wants to find her a husband so that he can stop paying for her expensive habits? Maybe?
12. That feeling when you decide to follow policy to the letter.
Y’know what, we tell a lot of jokes here on Diply.com , but you know what isn’t a joke? Safety, that’s what.
13. The most relatable work of art in the whole museum.
After all, who hasn’t been rammed in the posterior by a bull that seems to be propelled by an extremely powerful fart?
14. Oh, you pasteurize your milk? That’s cute. Hold my milk glass.
Can somebody please explain to me what exactly in the world is going on here? Where is this tour bus going? Is suckling cows part of the deal?
15. A comfortable home and happy childhood memories can last a long time, but nothing lasts longer than a bitter memory of some dink who dared to make you mad in the 3rd grade.
16. I’m not 100% confident, but I’m pretty sure that someone just chucked their Christmas tree out the window.
As reliable as gravity is, you can always count on the universe finding a way to screw you over.
17. Last Christmas, I gave you my decorations, but the very next day, you stole them away.
I’ve seen some aggressive public shaming in the past, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen it take the form of Christmas decorations before. Bravo.
18. Honestly, this is the kind of service you just can’t put a price on.
I’m not even sure what review platform this is that lets you give credit to the reviewer for being funny. The point is, that’s awesome.
19. I’ve heard of a lot of foods described as “brain food” before, but I don’t think I’ve ever considered chowing down on some surf and turf in the middle of class before.
20. I mean, let’s not pretend we wouldn’t still eat freeze-dried tacos.
Man, this person was really counting on a lot of progress in nine years. Well, guess what kid? Napster isn’t around anymore and people eat soap pods now. Welcome to the future.
21. Where’s the lie?
Listen, if you’re going to call something the ultimate anything, you’d better be willing to put your money where your mouth is. These people certainly did, and I’m just really sad to have missed it.
22. Obviously, this person came up to the proverbial fork in the road and decided to just run right over it.
Which, metaphorically, is still a great idea. Make your own path!
23. So, I’m told that I’m not allowed to include the full pictures here, but boy oh boy, the original tweet has a bonus “marital aid” sticking out of the chicken.
I guess you could say she really loves the c… Oh, okay, apparently I’m not allowed to finish that joke either.
24. And this is why you shouldn’t ever do yoga while driving.
Yep, yoga. That’s definitely what she was doing. And obviously she was having a really great time doing it.
