Losing sight of your dog is a terrifying, heart-stopping experience, especially if they happen to wander off in a new area and might not be able to find their own way home again.
Of course, microchips are definitely an effective way of making sure your beloved pet finds their way back to you. But pairing those chips with a dog tag ensures your four-legged friend gets home safely, while also giving you some creative freedom.
Not only do they help others identify your pup’s name, address, and phone number, but you can also customize them to your heart’s desire to make for some hilarious tags that would make anyone stop and laugh. And then, of course, deliver your pet back to you.
Here are some of the most hilarious dog tags the internet has to offer! (WARNING: some of these tags include coarse language.)
Straight to the point.
No point beating around the bush, right? This tag is explaining the situation perfectly so there’s no room for confusion.
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Instructions included.
Look, if you’ve ever seen Gremlins , you know this is one rule you had better follow. You don’t want to know what happens otherwise.
I think his name might be Tucker.
Now this is either explaining what this pup’s name is so there’s none of that “here doggy!” B.S., or this is transcribing what the owners say when he is eventually brought home again by a stranger after running off for the fourth time that week.
Doge sold separately.
Personally, I feel like the whole doge meme thing is pretty much over by now, but I’m sure this dog tag hit super hard in like, 2013!
Not again.
Don’t hate the player, hate the game. And maybe scold the player a bit for always trying to go play the game when he shouldn’t be.
Bold pup.
As funny as this is, I’m more entertained by the fact that this person named their puppy “Marc.” What a very mature name for a very immature doggo.
Same.
This dog tag is refreshingly honest and I feel the strong urge to get it for my own dog.
It’s sad that some people even have to be told this, but it’s definitely convincing.
I’d say to ask anyone who messed with his dog how well that worked for them, but the fact that you can’t is kind of the point.
I like how this dog even seems a little disappointed in themselves.
It’s OK, bro, we’ll find out where your humans are. It’s not your fault…as far as I know.
It’s always nice to see this word used so literally.
As for the claim this very confident dog is making, I guess I have no way of disproving that. What does jealousy look like in dogs?
Considering that the dog’s tongue is already out, this seems to be pretty accurate.
Also, my condolences for anyone who just realized that the song this is referencing came out 20 years ago. Yeah, I feel old too.
It’s the extra U’s that really make this one.
There comes a time when it doesn’t even feel embarrassing to admit we have no idea what we’re doing.
At that point, it’s already been such an ordeal that it’s hard to care anymore.
While most of these are written from the perspective of the dog, here we see the owner making a simple request.
Mind you, I didn’t say that it was a particularly polite request. Just a simple one.
A lot of these have been pretty direct and funny, but this one is just mysterious.
Unless the dog’s name is actually the recycling symbol, I’m not sure what point they’re trying to make here.
As long as it has the phone number on it, I guess.
I’ve definitely met dogs that fit this tag perfectly.
And let’s be honest, even those who can’t read this tag will probably still end up getting licked.
You’ve been warned.
This is one kind of threat you do not want to take likely. If I were you, I would do as it says and return the dog.
Not all those who wander are lost.
Although I definitely laughed at this one, I still think it’s just a bit of a bold move to assume this dog will never actually become lost.
HMU.
As long as these owners also included a phone number on the back of this tag just in case , I think this is perfectly hilarious.
“Where the hell am I?!”
This Reddit user explained that although their dogs Dante, Dory, and Ducky have never gotten lost before, you can’t be too careful.
But they’re pretty sure no one would actually want to keep their pups, especially Dante who they explained was named such because that doggo is particularly Satan-like (just look up Dante’s “Inferno” and you’ll understand.)
