There’s always that one person in our lives who can make our day better. Maybe they’re family, maybe they’re a friendly coworker, or maybe they’re the one customer out of, like, 1,000 who’s actually nice and reasonable.
But whoever they are, it’s always disappointing when they don’t show up. Sure, we want them to live their best lives and take a day off too, but a more selfish part of us wishes they could coordinate with our schedules so we can still get our fix.
Well, if they didn’t turn up today, here are some pretty good substitutes.
1. Haha, I guess there’s nothing wrong with teaching kids the rule of thirds while they’re already learning their ABCs.
And since we’re not looking at random feet or someone’s surprised face, North is definitely a better photographer than I was at her age.
2. Apparently, those metal poles just don’t cut it for this lady. I’m guessing she caught a cold from one and didn’t wanna get burned again.
Yeah, the toilet plunger is ironically the cleaner option here. That’s the kind of bold, decisive thinking that gets you places.
3. Pranking somebody with a cardboard cutout of the pizza guy is cruel and unusual, but I can definitely get down with this.
Plus, it would take some impressive timing to scream, “Waaaaah!” right as they look through the peephole.
4. Well, when life doesn’t give you a fingernail, add some googly eyes. That’s a lot better than that tired old lemonade shtick.
Besides, I like lemonade too, but even that cool, refreshing beverage can’t compare to how adorable this little guy is. I’ve made my choice.
5. I’m happy that this person managed to turn a two-person job into this, but I also know my luck.
As soon as I get to the most complicated part of my trip, that plastic bag will suddenly rip. I hope this person doesn’t share that curse.
6. Oh sure, you can throw away the crab shells. You know, if you’re not on the same intellectual level as this visionary.
And before you say that Crab Gundam here is too ridiculous to be a mobile suit, I’m pretty sure there’s one named Tall Geese.
7. Yes, this giant gerbil is probably made with Photoshop, but that’s not the point.
The point is that somebody brought our dreams of giant pets to life, and that’s the next best thing to making them come true.
You need a mad scientist for that.
8. I definitely thought this was a person in costume at first, but that unicorn’s feet look like they’re made of metal.
So either they made a sculpture, they somehow gave themselves metal feet, or this is just unicorn biology. There’s really no losing here.
9. The ultimate test of this man’s skill is to ask for just a little pepper.
If he can somehow fulfill that request with this monstrosity, I’m pretty sure that makes him the restaurant’s chosen one.
That honor gets you shouted at by all the world-class chefs.
10. Not only has this guy somehow built Solid Snake out of balloons, but he’s also the friendliest stealth operative I’ve ever seen.
Snake normally sounds like you just woke him up, but this guy would be like, “Starting the mission, Colonel! Wha hey!”
11. I’m certainly not going to argue with an idea this inspired. And we all know that One Direction can’t hold a candle to Smashmouth.
And when this girl cries about replacing her dreamboats with an ugly ogre, just give her the “ogres are like onions” speech.
12. Uh-oh, I think a lot of people just saw this picture and called in those ridiculous requests they made as kids.
“Sorry mom, but this picture doesn’t lie. Now about the little matter of having Radiohead play my next birthday party…”
13. This is pretty much the opposite of awesome for any parents in the house, but every kid just found their new hero.
Plus, I have reason to believe that even the mom respects this play a little. Otherwise, she wouldn’t be standing in stunned silence.
14. Now this is a lock screen that tells people they need to step off back to their own computers.
Like, even if you know their password, good luck having the concentration to enter it with those judging eyes staring at you.
Don’t violate Star Command’s cybersecurity, folks.
15. Honestly, this guy was pretty gutsy to hit random buttons in the first place, but the real awesome crown goes to whoever set this up.
Although when your national icon is something this intense, I suppose it would be a crime not to show it off.
16. I never understood how people thought this is such a devilish burn, and I’m glad this lady’s mom was able to shut it down.
I’m curious to see what their next witty barb will be, though. “Oh, yeah? Well, your degree isn’t nutritious, so there!”
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17. Not everyone will let their curiosity soar and stretch cheese all the way to its breaking point, but this bold pioneer has paved the way.
Besides, I guess you have to do something while you wait for these things to cool down a little.
18. Yeah, only someone with Samuel L. Jackson’s established cred can wear himself making this face and not look ridiculous.
And really, the fact that it feels weird to address him in any way besides his full name should tell you how much respect goes on it.
19. I’m not sure what this has to do with the weather, but I guess you have to spice things up somehow when everywhere is overcast.
If she somehow continued her report from that position, this station should give her a raise because nobody’s changing the channel.
20. OK, so this person was already doing the most by riding with a monkey in a dress like this, but it gets better when you look closer.
Notice that bit of pink in front of them? That’s right, they’re riding with two monkeys.
21. I want you all to know that this brave pilot risked a lot of yelling from his commanders to bring us this picture.
To give us joy, he was willing to risk doing laps around the plane — or whatever they make you do nowadays.
22. Yup, even the fearsome alligator needs a little spa day from time to time.
Is it just me, or does brushing its scales seem like something that started as a prank, but the alligators just happened to like it?
23. I never would have guessed that somebody could find a way to turn sugary cereal into relationship goals.
Also, shout-out to them for obviously having a way better relationship than Fred and Wilma Flintstone did.
She was only pretending not to hear him scream “WILLLLMA” all along.
24. This guy is probably thinking some version of, “Well, this is my life now,” but the important thing is that he’s a team player.
I also know how awkward it is to find the right angle…and how quickly spreading my legs like that can go wrong.
