Housekeepers and cleaners know a lot more about you than you may care to think! Even just by being in your house it is somewhat impossible no to pick up details about your life.
One curious person on Reddit took to the internet to find out what some of the strangest secrets were that housekeepers had uncovered out about their employers, by asking, “Housekeepers of Reddit, what do you know about the owners of the houses that they don’t know you know?”
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The responses varied from the touching to the shocking, to the downright disturbing, the most fascinating of which have been gathered for you below!
Finding Bondage Equipment
“Man of the house ask me and the other cleaning crew ladies if we have ever seen this type of dog leash. Holds up what is clearly an under bed restraint system looking confused. I didn’t say sh*t. We all looked at each other like ‘I’m not telling him’. He says, ‘mmm, maybe she wants a dog. Why was it under the mattress?’ He just wandered off dragging this thing behind him.
“He was a nice guy who worked a lot, tipped well, gave us holiday bonuses. She was a trophy wife, and not nice to him. They divorced while I still worked there, he got a dog named mayonnaise and was much happier. It was a rescued greyhound. Sweet dog. I don’t live in that town anymore but I hope Mr. Jim is happy still.” — Kantotheotter
Thankfully Mayonnaise sounds like they were nicer to him than his ex-wife! Also, I think the name Mayonnaise may be my new favorite dog name.
Rehab Plans
“I’m a nanny. The last family worked for I overheard the Dad calling his insurance asking if a certain Rehab was covered. He talks LOUD naturally. I heard what he was going for and everything. Nobody knew not family not friends. Just me and them. They never knew I knew.” — Thesugarsky
Apparently, the rehab was for internet porn addiction. This person also wrote that they worked there for 4 more years and that everything turned out well. Good on that guy for getting the help he clearly needed with an issue that people can minimize the effects of.
Finding Drugs In The House
“My cleaning guy caught me leaving the house once. Said he knew I smoked pot because he’d find stuff for it a lot and asked if he could find me some for a camping trip with his wife.
“I freaked a little after he just said ‘I know you do marijuana’. I was like am I catching a lecture.” — 420Minions
Someone asked if the person who wrote this sorted the cleaner out with what he was after, and this person wrote, “Of course I did lmao. We moved like a month later so I never really saw him face to face again. I hope he enjoyed it. They were good people and appreciated us more than they ever had to”.
Genital-Themed Toys
“I’m not a housekeeper but my late aunt used to be. One of her clients, who was fairly well-to-do, had a whole closet full of genital themed toys. And when I say ‘toys,’ I’m not using a euphemism for ‘sex enhancement items’ or anything like that. Literal genital toys. Windup penises with googly eyes on them, PEZ dispensers shaped like the most browsed pages of a skin mag (I suspect these weren’t official PEZ brand), rather risque variants on ‘pin the tail on the donkey’, a Nerf-like gun that fired foam phalluses…” — Times_Hunger
Pfft, who would want any of that tat? *Frantically begins googling foam phallus firing Nerf guns…
Infidelity
“Missus sends me to the store when she f*cks the landscaper. But I hate her husband too and she tips well.” — LowerEstablishment2
I guess if you hate the husband that makes it easier to ignore. I’m not sure if I could pretend like nothing was happening like that, what about you?
The Unusual Vacation…
“Not a housekeeper but a nanny. A family once took me on vacation with them so I could watch their kids while they’d go out and explore the area. That week, my bed was the couch in the living room. It’s late at night, the kids are sleeping, I’m laying on the couch and the parents get back. The dad says, ‘is she sleeping’ referring to me? I didn’t say anything so apparently he assumed yes. He then started farting very loudly.” — sisof2
I think I can speak for every single person who read that story when I say that I thought that it was going to go somewhere completely different!
Paying To Keep The Help Quiet
“I worked in a house manager/butler type of position, and there is nothing you don’t find out eventually. The trajectory of the toothpaste droplets on the mirror would tell me which of the women had spent the night. I knew passwords to computers, alarm systems, bank accounts and safes that I hadn’t necessarily been provided with. Drugs, kinks, medical history, sordid family secrets, skeletons in the closet, you name it. I think that’s the reason salaries get obscene if you stay long enough, your silence is literally golden.” — CopingMole
This person sounds more like a detective than a butler. There are also actually butler schools and private institutions that you can attend in order to learn the skills required to occupy a position such as this if you so desire.
Where They Keep Their Adult Toys
“Where she keeps her dildos. It’s not obvious.” — yaarty
This person went on to write that, “One day I noticed that whenever I used the toilet the water was barely enough to send away my ‘deposit’ so I opened the water tank to adjust it and I found not only one but several… well they are waterproof I thought.”
I don’t care if they are waterproof, that is horrifically unhygienic!
Secret Passageways!
“House I used to work at had a secret passage from the master bedroom to the attic, also a secret passage from a cabinet in the great room leading to the exterior of the garage”. — madiet6uwu
I always get jealous when I read about houses that have secret passageways as mine never had one. I don’t know what I would have ever done with one, but Christ I wish I’d had one.
How Much They Are Struggling With Dementia
“I clean for an elderly lady who is still quite sharp and feisty. She was a Boeing inspector in the 60s and 70s and stood up to a lot of men in order to make sure the planes were up to code. And she did all this as a black woman and a mother. At some point she divorced and later in life remarried, and cared for her husband as he developed dementia and eventually passed away. She tells me about her life without a trace of sentiment, everything is a matter of fact and lighthearted.
“But I see the photographs of her husband all over the house, one of them together as well as of him young and handsome in uniform, before she ever met him. I know how it is to lose someone to dementia, but I can only imagine it is your spouse.
“She’s never told me how deeply she still loves him or how painful it was to see him slipping away, how lonely it is living with only his photographs and memories. How that need for one particular person never goes away. But even though I can’t know exactly, I know.” — AbsurdBird_
Leaving Hygiene Products Around
“My friend who cleans houses said she once had a girl who left dirty pads all over her room. She refused to clean it.” — nightmaremain
But… why? Now I am by no means a clean freak, but this is a little much!
Both Parties Having Affairs
“They did well to hide it but I know both of them are having affairs. She gets really giddy the week she meets her lover. She is usually quite dowdy in the way she dresses but puts on much younger looking items to meet her man. The week she doesn’t meet him is the week she is glummer but gets bombarded with messages so she is stuck in her phone.
“He, on the other hand, is a lot harder to catch. I find seemingly innocuous handwritten telephone numbers and names (always female) on scraps of paper. He is a professional that works all over the world and travels a lot and has a massive network so it is part of the job. However, in his bin, wrapped in tissue paper I’ll find a torn off a section of the paper with a room number and presumably time written on it. This method is used with at least 7 different women judging by the different styles of handwriting. I’m pretty sure he is banging more than that though.” — imakeenwon
Finding Pictures In A Harry Potter Book
“I was cleaning the house of a woman with a young teenager. His room used to be in the basement but she said he kept sneaking out at night so she moved him upstairs. I was cleaning his room and found condoms under his lampshade when I was dusting and some pictures of a girl fell out of his Harry Potter book. I know she would have been really upset if she knew. I never said anything.” — PunnyButNotThatFunny
Keeping pictures of this nature in a Harry Potter book is the most cliche teenager thing I’ve read. Actually, it could only have been more cliche is they were in a Lord of The Rings book instead perhaps?
Siphoning Government Funds
“I wasn’t exactly a housekeeper but I was cleaning up files at a job that I quit a few years ago. Within a week, I found out that the owner never paid any of her bills and used government funds (that was supposed to go to the adult care center she ran) to buy herself expensive cars and houses that she shouldn’t have been buying in the first place.” — curlyquinn02
The person who wrote this ultimately did report the owner responsible for this activity, however, they haven’t heard yet whether anything has been done.
Getting A DUI
“That she got a DUI. Typical religious white-collar family; husband, wife, and 4 teen kids. She had one of those at home breathalyzer tests from the court sitting in the master bathroom, it takes your picture as you blow into it and it sends it to your probation officer. I only know because I was on probation a few years ago and had one too.
“Curiosity got the best of me and I looked at her public record…yup. DUI and she messed up on probation too, had another court date. After that, I started noticing 12 step books and such.” — LunaTheFerret
It appears like the person in this story has at least taken steps to prevent this sort of thing from happening again.
The Hidden Room
“A bit of an innocent one but while I was cleaning I saw this cabinet that was very large. Like someone could fit a body in there. So, being curious, I opened it and saw A WHOLE ROOM. It was crazy! Inside there was a bed and lights attached to these tall wood pieces. Then a mini bookshelf with some books and a desk and computer. It was absolutely amazing.” — LemmeHear
Sure, this one seems innocent, but why do they need a secret room in the first place?
Piecing Together Medical Problems
“Working in hotels is similar to cleaning someone’s house because those comfortable will lay it out for you. You can tell if someone is messy or tidy at home, how well they take care their things, what they eat, how much they drink, what medical problems they may have, and if you get the chance to meet them you can piece together why they live the way they do by telling their stories.
“I never made fun of our guests or judged them. That would be so unfair and intrusive.” — silly-noodle
Putting together this list, I have learned that I should be much more careful about how I present myself in hotels and at home!
Finding A Pregnancy Test
“Our maid service found our positive pregnancy test in the bathroom trash, after presumably finding negative pregnancy tests in the bathroom trash for the previous 12 months. Left us a nice little congratulations note on my wife’s nightstand.” — fizzleguy
I think that, while these people’s hearts may have been in the right place, I would personally have been quite unsettled to think that someone had been going through my trash for a year.
Using The Office For More Than Just Working
“Not at a house, but we know a lawyer (who owns the company) in a pretty big office likes to have hookers come to the office on nights when the stadium nearby is hosting a game. He’s married. There’s also always alcohol in the trash cans…” — themanganut
Howe Long They Had Been Sober
“Dog walker, here. I was dog-sitting for an older work friend once and saw her ‘days sober’ calendar. I was simultaneously sad, because I had no idea she was struggling, and happy for her because she had almost a full month marked off.” — cleanandclaire
It can be difficult to get your life back on track after you’ve hit a slump, but there will always be people there to help you whether friends and family or support groups. Everyone has to start somewhere with recovery, and a month is an amazing milestone passed!
