At least once in every person’s life (unless you’re Beyoncé), mistakes have been made. They range from a mere “I should wear stripes with plaid” to the colossal error in judgment of “I should invade Russia in winter.” Luckily for you, you can laugh at these peoples’ misfortune, which is definitely not a mistake.
1. “It’s as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced. I fear something terrible has happened.”
—Obi-Wan Kenobi, on his first day working as a truck driver for DiGiorno after he swerved to avoid an Ewok.
2. Irony is delicious and best paired with a red wine or a tall glass of karmic justice.
Here’s hoping he can get a refund for that shirt because I think his right to wear it has been revoked. That is, unless the back of it says “at crashing my car.”
3. I get that roundabouts can be intimidating for people who’ve never been in one before, but trying to make your own shortcut through one is only going to hurt you in the long run.
Then again, this might be better than just making one long turn for hours on end because you keep getting cut off.
4. That poor kid is going to be stuck in there until someone gets a craving for rum raisin.
At least he has a short-term food source unless he’s also allergic to dairy. Maybe he’ll wake up in the year 2999, befriend a robot and a cyclops, and work as a delivery boy.
5. Well on the bright side, I guess he won’t have to pay taxes anymore, right?
Does this make him the world’s first actual zombie? I would like to think so.
6. That awkward moment when you don’t quite nail your parking job and accidentally cause several thousand dollars’ worth of damage.
That’s one way to make sure your tires get slashed for eternity.
7. In case you don’t have a calculator (then again, you’re probably on your phone so you do), that’s roughly 47 and a half years.
Which basically means by the time it unlocks, you could already have the iPhone 95S.
8. It was at this time that Greg realized that using honey as glue to repair his blinker was a bad idea.
On the bright side, no one ever tailgated him on the highway ever again.
9. If you thought the motorcycle-toppling SUV driver from earlier was bad at parking, this guy takes the cake.
He’s about to find out that the H doesn’t stand for “Here’s some free parking.”
10. If this were a video game, you could score some serious points by using this as a ramp.
Unfortunately, in the real world you’d probably just get yourself badly hurt.
RELATED STORIES
11. Well, there you have it folks: an actual, literal example of the phrase “painting yourself into a corner.”
He’s going to have to get lifted out of there in a harness, like in Mission Impossible .
12. Why waste time looking for a parking spot at your job when you can make one?
On the bright side, they probably won’t have to worry about being late for that job again. Because they’ll be fired.
13. I think the architects may have gotten their wires crossed when building this escalator.
This is going to make a lot of lazy people (like yours truly) very upset.
14. I don’t know what they did, but by the number of roses he thinks it will take to say he’s sorry, I’m gonna say it’s going to take more than just flowers.
With the price of roses these days, he probably could have used the money to buy a new place.
15. The first rule of combat: know your enemy. The second rule of combat: don’t let your enemy choose the location for your training.
The third rule of combat: bring a rain poncho.
16. Did you know that MRI scanners have powerful magnets inside that can pull the fillings out of your teeth and through your skull? Well, now you do.
That’s why you make sure any metal objects are secured before you turn it on.