While most people assume that the highest stakes of a wedding are whether the couple will actually stay together forever or not, there are often others who are feeling the pressure.
After all, there are certain expectations placed on everyone in attendance, and the more someone is involved in the wedding program, the more they’re required to do.
One maid of honor became the maid of dishonor when she was cut from her role simply for being too anxious to give a speech.
Weddings can be stressful for those people specifically chosen to be a part of them.
While the soon-to-be-weds are usually the stars of the show, the best man, the maid of honor, bridesmaids, groomsmen, and any anyone else in the program are usually in the limelight too.
This can be overwhelming for some, as there are expectations to fulfill their role adequately.
One future maid of honor was getting cold feet, and the bride was not pleased.
She was so unhappy in fact that she headed to Reddit’s popular r/AmITheAsshole page to ask for commenters to weigh in on her situation.
She explained, “My fiancé and I were expecting speeches from the best man, maid of honor, and our fathers/mothers.”
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They gave them all six month’s notice to prepare their speeches but about a week ago, her maid of honor (MOH) explained she was too anxious to give hers on the day of.
This was a problem for the future bride.
After the MOH confessed to having “bad anxiety giving speeches, to the point of panic,” this bride felt she was in a bind. So she did what she felt needed to be done: she demoted her MOH to a bridesmaid.
“I told her that the speech is really important to me, and I would be choosing another bridesmaid to be the maid of honor,” she explained . “Well…she was clearly upset but just said ‘ok…’ and that was it.”
It was a bit of an awkward situation.
While the bride admitted she felt a little bad for giving her MOH the boot, she still thinks she made the right decision since it’s her wedding day and she wants everything to go perfectly.
“I was looking forward to the speeches and they mean a lot to me.,” she wrote. “On top of that, I just think it would be uncomfortable if the best man was giving a speech, and then the maid of honor never spoke. People would be wondering ‘why isn’t she giving a speech too??'”
Plus, the bride-to-be had other worries on her plate.
Although she felt guilty about the situation, it was hard to balance both the situation with the former MOH and her own priorities that needed sorting out:
“I’m also trying to be very understanding of her anxiety issues, but it’s just been extremely difficult for me to choose a maid of honor and see this whole thing through. I’ve been extremely stressed from my kids and work, so having this additional stressor made things much more challenging for me.”
As far as this bride is concerned, she’s done nothing wrong.
After all, it’s not like the former MOH is completely out of the wedding. She’s still going to be by the bride’s side on the big day, just in a different position.
“I am still making sure to include the previous chosen maid of honor as a bridesmaid and I will be talking with her to make sure she’s still okay in that roll,” the bride explained .
Although confident in her decision, she still asked the people of Reddit to determine whether she’s an asshole for doing what she felt needed to be done.
The Reddit findings are in.
The AITA jury has collectively come together to name this bride as the asshole.
“Choosing a maid of honor used to be about the relationship you had with her,” this person wrote, “not for what she could do for you in regard to wedding plans/prep/speeches/whatever.”
In fact, most users think this bride is totally shallow.
“Your marriage is still valid even if your friend doesn’t speak,” someone wrote . “[You’re the asshole] for requiring that she profess her love for you both in front of a bunch of strangers. Isn’t being in your wedding, taking time off work, purchasing a bridesmaid outfit, etc., enough to show that you are important to her?”
Most comments echo the exact same sentiments.
The bottom line seems to be that friendships extend beyond wedding speeches.
Most of the time, the maid of honor is a best friend, sister or relative who shares a close bond with the bride. They know each other well enough for there not to be this kind of misunderstanding. However, for Reddit users, this bride seems to be more interested in a good speech than a friend.
Let us know what you think of this slightly shady story in the comments and if you believe the future bride is indeed the asshole.
h/t: Reddit
