Okay, first let’s all take a moment to acknowledge that our bodies are beautiful and wonderful and make everything that we do in life possible, so they deserve as much love and appreciation as we can give.
Good. Now let’s talk about the ever-loving struggle that is weight loss .
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Whether you’re doing it for health reasons, personal reasons, or simply want to see if you can shed a few elbees , weight loss can be one tricky b*tch to conquer. But the good news is you’re not alone, and these hilarious weight loss memes certainly prove that.
So if you’re the kind of person who thinks a “juice cleanse” means “mimosas”, I think you’re really going to enjoy these.
Listen to your heart, sis.
I’ve already accepted the fact that last summer’s jeans aren’t going to see any action this summer and that’s perfectly O.K. with me.
It do be like that.
It’s a vicious cycle. You eat less during the day so by the time dinner rolls around, you end up eating enough for four people. So then tomorrow you try to eat less and it’s just like, oh God, here we go again .
Never look back.
You just focus on what you’re going to do today. Don’t bother reminiscing on all those calories you enjoyed. It’s just not worth the energy.
That’s how it works, right?
And if I pin enough “healthy recipes” to that board I’ve never looked at, I can keep eating all these delicious desserts and I won’t gain a pound!
Honestly, the hardest part about dieting is all the pinning. After that it’s a breeeeze .
Same thing, right?
Catch me tomorrow adding a side of candied bacon to it. After all, I’ve always been told that starting the day with a nice, full breakfast is the key to any diet.
Don’t have to tell me twice!
This . This is why you will always see me leaving the dessert table with two cupcakes in my hands. Now please stop giving me those judgey looks and respect my healthy, balanced lifestyle.
Desperate times call for desperate measures.
As soon as you start trying to cut carbs and sugar from your diet, you realize just how many foods you have to eliminate, and then you’re pretty much left with water and maybe a stick of celery.
So let’s do ourselves a favor and leave all those carbs and sugars where they belong — on our plates .
Time doesn’t exist while you’re dieting.
This has the same energy as doing a half-hour workout and realizing that when squats, planks, and crunches are involved, half an hour actually feels more like 5 hours.
No big deal or anything.
You’ll also be impressed to know I managed to eat my entire daily calorie goal in only one meal.
Man, dieting is easy.
I’ll just be sitting here enjoying the show, thanks.
At my gym, there are two elderly women who signed up for memberships just so they could come every day and use the massage chairs for an hour.
They’re basically my heroes.
We’ve all gained a few pounds since then.
I happened to be pretty underweight when I was born, so I like to think that all my subsequent weight gain (including that freshman 15 that quickly turned into the freshman 35 ) was me just trying to make up for that fact.
And suffice it to say, I definitely succeeded.
I’d like to thank my mom for always believing in me…
This award was made possible by my favorite creamy salad dressing that’s always been there for me and that’s helped trick me into eating more greens because it tastes so darn good.
This one’s for you, three cheese ranch!
You call it “leftovers”, I call it “meal prepping.”
Other forms of meal prepping I enjoy include finding some fries in the bottom of the takeout bag I left on the counter last night, and eating that container of spaghetti sauce I forgot was in the back of my fridge.
That counts, right?
Moderation, baby.
I wanted to buy a double bacon cheese burger with a side of fries and a chocolate milkshake.
But instead I bought a single bacon cheese burger with a side of fries and a chocolate milkshake. It’s the little changes that make the biggest difference.
Same.
It’s all about the journey, not the destination. And sometimes the destination inexplicably gets just a little further and further away.
So, you know, plan your road trip accordingly.
Don’t judge me.
There’s nothing quite like doing that little scuttle of shame from the kitchen to your bedroom while trying to balance a buffet of snacks in your hands.
I just did a whole bag! I mean…*set*.
I like to shake up my workouts, too. Sometimes they’re ketchup flavored, sometimes they’re barbecue, and if I’m feeling a little spicy , sometimes they’re jalapeño cheddar.
It’s all about variety.
*10 Things I Hate About You*: Carb Edition.
This is also how I feel when I look at pasta and mashed potatoes. In the end, my complicated feelings usually result in me eating everything anyway.
Every time.
I also usually end up with three packs of chocolate chunk cookies when I was positive I was putting spinach in my cart.
Weird how that happens.
You don’t know shame until you download a fitness app.
Sometimes I put my meals in and you’d think I just told the thing I ate an entire grocery store with the way it reacts.
“YOU WENT OVER YOUR DAILY ALLOTTED SUGAR.”
Okay, you need to chill.
