Getting along with in-laws is often inherently challenging. After a contentious divorce, this Redditor’s mother-in-law moved back in with her son. However, their relationship was already strained and their friction continued. On an evening when the Redditor craved a chicken sandwich and asked her mother-in-law if she wanted any, the latter said she wasn’t hungry. However, the woman found out her daughter-in-law gobbled up the sandwich on her own, which led to another argument. The mother-in-law then left for good without saying where she was going. Having no idea what else to do, the woman turned to the AITA online community for a verdict.
MIL takes offense when DIL doesn’t save her food even though she said she wasn’t hungry
Husband’s MIL takes offense when DIL doesn’t save her food after claiming she wasn’t hungry.
DIL’s thoughtfulness backfires when MIL takes offense at not saving food
DIL strives to find the right snack, but MIL takes offense anyway
MIL’s offense after DIL doesn’t save her food despite saying she wasn’t hungry
The MIL took offense when DIL ate the sandwich she said she wasn’t hungry for, triggering an unexpected response!
Jake’s DIL gets scolded as tensions rise when she doesn’t save MIL’s food after saying “not hungry”
❤️ When MIL takes offense after DIL says she’s not hungry ➡️ drama ensues!
No one likes to be taken for granted and in this post, a mother-in-law takes offense when the daughter-in-law doesn’t save her food from a late-night craving. In this post, a daughter-in-law shouted out her cravings for her favorite chicken sandwich with chili and when her mother-in-law said she wasn’t hungry, the daughter-in-law finished it off quickly. The mother-in-law was shocked when she saw the plate wiped clean and questioned her daughter-in-law’s generosity. After going on a wild goose chase to find the perfect chili, the daughter-in-law comes home to find her mother-in-law angry, claiming she didn’t get a chance to have any. Left with an angry husband and an unhappy mother-in-law, reactions and comments are sure to follow. In the next section, we look at people’s reactions and comments on this situation and how they interpreted this. Stay tuned!
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NTA when MIL changes her mind ♀️
This comment section largely agrees that the OP is Not The A**hole for not saving MIL’s food after she initially said she wasn’t hungry. Replies have discussed the importance of using words to communicate clearly, MIL’s passive-aggressive behavior, and the double standard of expecting OP to be a mind reader. No one should have to be a doormat.
NTA ~ Chaotic Good
The comment declares the OP (Original Poster) as Not The A**hole and commends them for unwittingly calling out the MIL’s (Mother-In-Law) manipulative behavior. Replies commended the OP for standing up for themselves and suggested their husband should apologize and have their back.
MIL’s ‘you’re the a**hole’ moment
The comment stated that the poster’s mother-in-law (MIL) would have been in trouble regardless of what the poster did. The replies provided insight to the manipulative attitude of the MIL and her illogical expectations.
Everyone’s an a**hole here ♀️ ♂️
The comment claims NTA, whereas the replies point out how the husband is an a**hole for not defending his wife and enabling his mother’s behavior. MIL is accused of bullying and monitoring OP’s eating habits in an unhealthy manner.
MIL+DIL conflict: NTA!
The commenter points out how MIL’s behavior is concerning and suggests that there may be a “cycle of abuse” in the family dynamic. Replies discuss the extreme lengths OP went to find a specific ingredient for MIL even after she said she didn’t want anything and suggests that OP may have self-esteem issues. NTA.
Not the a-hole MIL takes offense
NTA: MIL is a grown adult and can make her own food if she’s hungry.
NTA: MIL ≠ Child
The comment states MIL shouldn’t expect to be treated like a child, as the original poster offered her food but she politely refused. A reply adds that MIL even expected a bite of the poster’s sandwich, which is considered inappropriate.
: MIL’s sandwich predicament
MIL asked DIL to save her sandwich, but didn’t get her wish! Replies found humor in the situation and MIL’s hunger.
NTA! MIL’s mind-reading expectations are ✋
![Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]](https://static.diply.com/3b1e769d-7d94-4b03-9cf8-3ef0fa276a23.png)
The commenter is Not The A-hole in this situation because the MIL did not make her expectations clear. The MIL could have asked the commenter to make extra food if she wanted some later on but chose not to. This justifies the commenter’s confusion about MIL’s A**hole behavior.
Feeling bad for the MIL!
The comment argues that the daughter-in-law is being “petulant” and disrespectful, suggesting that she shouldn’t be invited back to the house again. One reply expresses sympathy for the mother-in-law, “My God you all are destroying her I’m feeling so bad for laughing at this.”
❌ MIL sends wrong message ♀️
NTA, MIL needs to communicate better – OP asked if MIL wanted food, and she said no, not hungry. OP is not to assume a “Yes” when MIL says “No”. MIL’s behavior is similar to passive-aggressive expectations that many older women often have, expecting people to read their minds. OP’s hard work to make a sandwich should be respected and not infringed upon.
Mil’s rude behavior isn’t alright!
OP was wrongfully put in an awkward spot by MIL’s comment and her husband is not backing her up. Replies are in agreement that MIL’s behavior isn’t alright and OP deserves better.
DIL debates if showing her MIL’s food post to her SO would be the right move
The original commenter (DIL) is debating if they should show their SO (Jake) the post made by their MIL, as it might have been to deliberately start an issue. In the replies, they express concerns of having made some comments that Jake might see, even if deleted.
NTA: ♀️ MIL’s reaction is toddler-level
The commenter declared MIL’s reaction as ‘toddler-level’ as she got offended when DIL didn’t save her food but said she wasn’t hungry. Commenter also questioned the thought process of ‘not eating takeout’, noting that any type of food can be ordered for takeout.
MIL takes offense for no reason!
The MIL (mother-in-law) took offense when OP (original poster) did not save her food after she said she wasn’t hungry. The hubby made things worse by telling OP to apologize to his mom and taking his toys and leaving. The replies to the comment agreed that hubby overreacted and made an immature response.
Main commenter is NTA
The main commenter is Not the A**hole, but questions why the husband is so useless and suggests that he should apologize for his neglect as a host. Furthermore, they point out that families should take better care of each other when visiting.
NTA: Jake’s mom is an indecisive, entitled and lazy a-hole!
The commenter argues that Jake’s mother is an a-hole because she gets angry when Jake isn’t clairvoyant enough to save her food despite multiple responses of ‘No, I’m not hungry.’ The commenter also claims Jake’s mother is indecisive, entitled and lazy.
NTA: Games with food?
The commenter deemed NTA (not the a**hole) in this situation and exclaimed their hatred towards playing games with food. Being rude guarantees a no-win outcome.
Playing games with MILs food?
![Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]](https://static.diply.com/8b5a9b97-3e64-49ba-aee0-0cd4546cbc2a.png)
NTA. The commenter believes that the DIL was playing games with the MIL when she asked for a bite after declining food earlier. Replies agree, with some adding that the DIL was being entitled for wanting a bite of someone else’s food.”No one should be ‘saving’ bites for other people’s food”
NTA:
The commenter expresses disbelief that the MIL could take offense at the DIL not saving her food when the DIL said she wasn’t hungry.
NTA: Problem Solved!
The commenter asserts that the MIL was in the wrong for her behavior and recommends that the DIL holds her to her promise of not visiting again, as the problem has been solved.
NTA: dh is a problem ♂️
Commenter is Not The A**hole in this situation and points out that the Daughter-in-law was right to leave after her food preference was not respected. Commenter states that the real problem here is the Daughter-in-law’s husband.
MIL takes offense…but NTA!
![Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]](https://static.diply.com/0b6fc98e-42cb-4aa0-afeb-b826d110f2f8.png)
The comment states that MIL is wrong for taking offense as DIL doesn’t have to share her food and is being passive-aggressive. Censor words like ‘a**hole’ are censored to respect user guidelines.
NTA: MIL’s issue
OP declares that the MIL is ‘not the a**hole’ (NTA) in this situation, as she is ‘hangry’ but unwilling to admit it. A reply comment suggests that the OP might be an ‘a**hole’, depending on the MIL’s age and appetite. Another reply agrees that the MIL’s behavior is not excusable.
NTA: MIL can’t expect food to be saved for her if she declines it ♀️
The comment asserts the MIL was wrong to expect that the sandwich she declined be saved for her later. The reply suggests that MIL is a manipulative person and that her husband is enabling her behavior.
MIL gets roasted
The comment states that the Mother in Law is the a**hole, and encourages the Daughter in Law to get her out of the house.
MIL ♀️takes offense
The commenter thinks MIL is being an entitled b*tch for taking offense when DIL doesn’t save her food after saying she wasn’t hungry.
NTA unless you can predict the future
The commenter suggests it may not be about food at all and that it might just be about creating drama. One reply suggests two possibilities: 1) it isn’t about food, or 2) it is indeed about food but mixed with mental issues – they have guessed it’s the first option as it’s “familial”.”
Offering ‘a bite’ of sandwich
The comment sarcastically asked who offers everyone in the house a bite of their sandwich, sarcastically deeming it a ridiculous idea. The reply agrees, adding that taking the sandwich around the house for everyone to have a bite is indeed ridiculous.
NTA: Don’t apologize
The comment tells the reader not to apologize for not saving the MIL’s food. It is implied that the MIL is trying to manipulate the DIL into apologizing and the DIL should stand her ground. The comment also implies that if the husband wants the MIL to visit in the future, HE is solely responsible for the MIL’s stay.
Men and women experience ❓ “do you want some?“ dance
![Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]](https://static.diply.com/4f0a155e-150b-46ce-9468-d13505c186f0.png)
Commenter finds it weirdly satisfying that women also experience the humorous “do you want some?” situation. The commenter decides that they were NTA as they asked if the MIL was hungry and she answered, even though the commenter tried making up for it by offering to buy a different one. The MIL didn’t want it, however, and the husband could either answer what they were supposed to do or shut up.
NTA but what do they have in their fridge?
Commenter says that the Daughter-in-Law (DIL) isn’t an a**hole (NTA) in this case, but inquires if there are other things in the fridge or if the food was stopped at 5. Reply states that there are eggs, marinated chicken, grounded beef, bacon, cheese, strawberry jam, peach jam, nuggets, sandwich bread, tortillas, normal bread, peanut butter, and many other items that require little preparation in the fridge and outside the fridge.
NTA: ♀️
The commentator doesn’t sympathize with MIL and instead suggests that she’s looking for an excuse to be mad at DIL.
NTA: MIL took offense! ♀️
The comment argues that MIL was in the wrong for taking offense as DIL didn’t say she wanted anything and would have had other options if she was really that hungry.
Not The A**Hole
NTA as MIL tried to accommodate her DIL but DIL refused to eat the food. There’s no disrespect here for MIL going out of her way for DIL.
MIL’s crazy demand! NTA❗️
The comment states that the MIL is crazy for expecting the DIL to save her food for later when she said she wasn’t hungry. They suggest that the DIL should apologize and make it clear that she should state her expectation more clearly. The comment also claims that the husband should have had his wife’s back but he didn’t.
NTA, MIL’s manipulative
The commenter declared that MIL is ‘NTA’ (not the a**hole) and is being manipulative by making things up to be mad about.
Offering food ❤️ not a crime
The OP asked her mother-in-law if she wanted any food and was blamed for not offering it after she had said no. The comment replies were in agreement that the OP was not the a**hole in the situation and that her mother-in-law and husband were the a**holes here.
NTA: Grandma’s pancakes
The comment expresses that the MIL is NTA, but that the unique situation is not fully explained. It asks if the DIL and her family do not have food in their house, and the reply reveals that snacks such as chocolate bars are not present in the home, but that the DIL is not “sneakily” going to Grandma’s for pancakes with chocolate and ice cream.
MIL takes offense✋️
NTA (not the a**hole). MIL is ‘the a**hole’ – watch your back!
MIL takes offense
Commenter says MIL is either nuts or trying to make trouble and appears to have succeeded. Censor any curse words like “a**hole” using asterisks in the output e.g: a**hole or a**hole or f-**k.
NTA: Jake and MIL are a**holes ♂️
Commenter states that Jake and MIL are a-holes for taking offense when DIL doesn’t save her food after saying she wasn’t hungry.
️️️️️️️️️️️️Let’s build a bridge… and farewell️️️️️️️️️️️️
The commenter suggested building a bridge in spite of the disrespect shown, implying that it is time to let go. They also concluded that the commenter is Not the A**hole in this situation.