When someone says “All dogs are good dogs,” most of us can agree that as an aggregate, dogs are the goodest bois.
We can also agree that as an aggregate, cats are assholes. Yes, Mr. Kitty Fantastico may be purring on your lap right now, but that doesn’t mean he won’t happily knock Grandpa Joe’s urn off the mantle when your back is turned.
But according to Mitchell County Animal Rescue in North Carolina, a cat named Perdita is a special kind of The Worst.
She seems like the kind of cat that wouldn’t just knock over Grandpa’s urn, but then follow it up by using the ashes as a litter box.
Perdita’s awfulness wasn’t immediately noticed.
In fact, the adoption notice they posted on Facebook notes that they thought she was sick at first, but “it turns out she’s just a jerk.”
Since there was no getting around her personality and even Perdita deserves a home — though no human deserves her — they decided on honesty.
Their sales pitch kind of sells me on her, though. I am, in fact, a socially awkward human that appreciates personal space.
“Meet Perdita, not for the faint of heart. LIKES: staring into your soul until you feel as if you may never be cheerful again; the song Cat Scratch Fever, the movie Pet Cemetery (Church is her hero), jump scares (her specialty), lurking in dark corners, being queen of her domicile, fooling shelter staff into thinking she’s sick (vet agrees…she’s just a jerk)
RELATED STORIES
Obviously, honesty was the exactly right policy to find her a home.
Since posting the funny description, Perdita has received more than 50 adoption applications and the staff are going to choose carefully.
“DISLIKES: the color pink, kittens (yuk they are so chipper), dogs, children, the Dixie Chicks, Disney movies, Christmas and last but NOT least…HUGS.”
“She’s single and ready to be socially awkward with a socially awkward human who understands personal space. FREE ADOPTION.”
They also made it clear that while Perdita is The Worst, they still love her in the way she prefers: from afar.
“We love this spirited, strong-willed, beauty. We have given her privacy and quiet as much as possible.”
To follow Perdita’s quest for a home, check out the Rescue’s Facebook page .
