Are you having a hard day at the office? Or an easy day at the office? Or a middling day at the office? Well, whatever the situation, have I got just the thing for you!
So, minimize that spreadsheet, log out of your emails for a few minutes, send that annoying co-worker next to you on an unnecessary errand, and prepare to relax with some office-based meme goodness that will really add a bit of brightness to your working day. (However, as good as these workplace memes are, they sadly won’t get your co-worker to stop oversharing, just thought you ought to know!)
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Office Cheat Codes
Other meeting phrases include, “we’re not trying to reinvent the wheel here”, “it’s a double-edged sword”, and “My soul has been ground into dust and sold to the devil as a seasoning”.
The Secret Formula
I mean, 5% is a lot of effort for a Friday, but I guess it’s pretty accurate.
The Curse Of The Snooze Button
And there was a traffic jam, and a bear got into my car, and my hair went on fire, and then a drug-fuelled Gordon Ramsey erupted onto the freeway and started snapping cars in half with a giant fondue fork made out of the bones of his ancestors… it was crazy!
Snow White And The 3 Employees
Does your office have these three employees? Maybe you are one of them if so let me know which one you are!
Reply All
The person who replies to all is the scourge of the office. There is a single reply option for a reason!
The Snack Game Is Strong With This One
You can’t expect your workers to be working at maximum efficiency if you’re only offering apples, you need to get a Crunchie or a Snickers in there!
Don’t Move, Their Vision Is Based On Movement!
Just clutch onto your plastic cup of water and your coffee and keep your head down. You’ll get through this.
If You Could Do Some Work, That’d Be Great…
Sometimes people are just unreasonable, especially people that want you to do work — I mean, what’s all that about?
“Networking”
Ah, networking, the single most flimsy pretense to simply getting hammered of all time.
Happy New Year
How many of you out there heard this at the end of the holidays? I can imagine you all found this absolutely hilarious.
They Need To Learn Young
I particularly like that they’ve got that one kid looking really happy to be there, like the fresh-faced new employee trying to make a good impression.
Right, I’m Going To Work In The Street!
He’s on nature’s wifi now, free as a bird and no longer plagued by Allan’s holiday pictures.
It’s All About Professionalism
Email etiquette is so important, you need the right amount of exclamation marks to show your enthusiasm, but not so many that you look like a psychopath.
I Was Going To Say That…
Always have the confidence to share your ideas in meetings! Unless they’re bad ideas, then definitely don’t say those as that could ruin your life. Good luck!
Harsh Truths
If this is you, then maybe it’s time to update your CV?
It Sneaks Right Up On You
No matter how prepared you think you are, it’ll catch you off guard every single time.
That stress on the crazy days gets 10 times worse when it seems like you’re the only one who’s busy.
But of course, we’re the problem if we actually do this while all this random noise is going on. Sure, it would probably shut everyone up, but it’s sadly not worth it.
If you ever wondered what happened to that kid who reminded the teacher we had homework, here’s your answer.
Also, “act your wage” is a genius expression that I’m going to need to remember, but hope I never have to use.
Nobody cares on that magical last day, but some people can turn that apathy into an art form.
My favorite example of this was when my family took a trip to Italy and the customs guy at the airport waved everyone through as aggressively as possible.
Seriously, he actually got mad at us when we tried to show him our passports. Sorry, I guess?
Unless they’re on a power trip, I can only imagine that they’re as worried about not seeming busy in front of the boss as we are.
Although I would definitely respect a manager who told me to look for my will to live when there’s nothing to do. It shows we’re on the same page.
That time with our favorite managers is precious enough to turn what’s normally a no-brainer into an actual hard decision.
Although, I’d argue that it’s one of those cases where if you really love them, you won’t put them at risk of getting sick too.
It’s the sacrifice we have to make.
I’m pretty sure I’ve had nightmares about this exact scenario.
But just like those dreams where we’re taking a test we didn’t study for only to remember we haven’t been to school in years, there’s one important reminder that comforts me when this bad dream arises.
I leave the house as little as possible.
Oh darn, it looks like this turn of events made us miss all the hard labor. How unfortunate.
Of course, opportunity knocks even harder in this case if you’re good at slipping onto the work site and acting like you were there the whole time.
When you can think of all the days this person helped you get through, it’s lowkey traumatic when they move on.
I mean, there’s a difference between telling each other that you’re going to quit all of the time and actually doing it! That wasn’t part of the deal, Jimmy!
Yeah, unless the manager also has access to cloning technology, they’re going to need to be a little more specific.
Because hitting me with 100 things and telling me that the fate of the world rests on all of them at once is the perfect way to ensure that absolutely none of them will get done.
In this energy doesn’t make any sense to you, then I’m afraid you’re the other coworker.
Just because we see each other every day, that doesn’t mean I’m trying to reveal all my weirdest thoughts to you.
There’s a vetting process.
I feel like this is closer to what we want to say than what we actually say because this confidence seems pretty rare.
In reality, the key is to act like something incredibly important, but equally mysterious needs to be done elsewhere as soon as your shift ends.
Basically, if your boss thinks you’re secretly Batman, you’re doing it right.
It’s always so tempting to point out that they have a lot of time to complain about how hard they work for someone who’s so busy.
Of course, that would involve getting into am argument that we legitimately don’t have time for because we’re actually doing the work they claim to be swamped with.
I have definitely had Mondays where I didn’t consider it a good morning unless I managed to talk to literally nobody until I made it to my desk.
After all, talking about how good my weekend was only serves to make me wish it was still happening.
Yeah, it’s pretty much impossible not to take this one personally.
And it’s not exactly like it makes you feel better when you’re told that it’s because you’re the most essential member of the team.
Respect has never felt so disrespectful.
Sadly, it seems that people who do this somehow managed to go their whole lives without ever hearing the phrase, “be careful what you wish for.”
Congratulations! Not only is your headcount down, but it’s getting lower and lower all the time.
I love the thought of this boss getting to the point where they have to do the work of a whole office on their own before they clue in, but that’s never how it works.
Unfortunately, it turns out that the other extreme can be just as hectic.
Apparently, nothing alleviates the stress of a closer deadline like adding a bunch of confused coworkers without context to the mix.
Yay, everybody’s terrified!
If you have a really good boss, they’ll be able to put their ego aside and give you the props you deserve for something like this.
A really bad one will get weirdly jealous and insist on their way because the great and powerful them thought of it.
Most of them, of course, fall somewhere in that middle. And that middle usually involves embracing the new and improved way, but pretending they thought of it.
I feel like this problem inspires an “office face” as much as a retail job gives people a “customer service voice.”
And as far as I’m concerned, that “office face” can be achieved by staring really intently and seriously at something no matter how funny and unrelated to your work it is.
Although a lot of us don’t have the offices required for this issue, it’s still bound to happen at some point.
And I think that does a lot to explain why working from home is so attractive to a lot of people. That way, only your pets can hear so much about what you want, what you really really want.
See You All Tomorrow!
These are the kind of people who can just turn off their email notifications and binge watch Netflix for hours as though there’s no problems whatsoever. Denial at its finest.
The Mysterious 5-Year Gap
If only interviews were this easy, then you wouldn’t have to lie about that charity work that you did once but are making out lasted for years.
The Busiest Time Of The Year
Look, blow-torching watermelons is difficult work! Don’t judge anyone else over the work they do.
It’s More Than Just A Paycheck…
Don’t be crying in the bathroom on work’s time! Do your bathroom crying at home on your own time and in the comfort of your own bathroom, jeez!
