There are some people out there who aren’t exactly what you would think of as, “model citizens”. These are the kinds of people who eat rotisserie chickens in parking lots alone, treat doctors like horses, and lie about the amount of wine they drink.
However, I think we all have moments such as these which set us apart from the so-called “upstanding citizens” amongst us! So, to celebrate our individual character flaws, here are 14+ tweets for people who aren’t exactly upstanding citizens.
“One Day it will happen…”
Funnily enough, that is exactly how I met my partner. We were both in our own cars in a parking lot, eating chicken, when our eyes locked. Beautiful.
The Most Evil Neighbor On Earth
Of all of the bizarre feuds and arguments that people get into with their neighbors, this is the pettiest warfare I’ve ever heard of.
Is There A Doctor On Board?
People often say that if you don’t have the appropriate qualifications, then you can’t follow your dreams. However, this shows that if you have passion and commitment, you can do anything you want! I think?
The Drug Addict Neighbor
That is one unfortunate mixup to find yourself in. Or, this person is actually addicted to cocaine and has concocted this bizarre coverup!
How Long Have I Been On This Couch?
Pffft, who does this? Definitely not a situation that I’ve ever found myself in that’s for sure… anyway, moving swiftly on!
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Yee-Haw!
I can tell you with certainty that healthcare professionals do not take kindly to being treated like wild horses. That’s just a fact.
How Often Should You Change It?
The Brita website recommends that you should change your filter every 2 months. So 5 years is probably pushing it a bit!
Ex-Meth Head
In fairness, I don’t really see the problem with eating a granola bar under those conditions. A man’s gotta eat.
2003 Corolla
Also, people put bumper stickers on their car all of the damn time! I also hate the “you wouldn’t desecrate a church by putting paint on the walls!” Sure, but people hang artwork in them, it’s the same thing!
“Life isn’t all it’s cracked up to be sometimes.”
I don’t think that I have ever resonated with a tweet more than this one. You could throw “Occasionally pay taxes” in there and really complete the scene.
The Secret Ingredient
I still can’t believe that there are people out there who drink vanilla coke. Like, what is it that you like about it? The fact that it tastes of feet?
Well Played!
That aunt got exactly what she deserved there. I wonder how passive-aggressive the Christmas cards were.
Dark Sense Of Humor
I think it’s important to know in general where a dark sense of humor ends and just being a dick begins.
Swearing Is All About Context
As inappropriate as this is, the image of a 9-year-old girl swearing at cauliflower rice is objectively hilarious!
What’s Your Name Again?
I am always shocked at the speed with which I can forget people’s names. However, I quickly remember that I don’t really care, which makes me feel a lot better about myself.
People Getting Unnecessarily Angry
Someone pointed out that if this kind of irrational angry attitude towards millennials didn’t exist, then Piers Morgan wouldn’t have a job. A man can dream…
Holiday Time!
In fairness, at airport prices, $72 can barely get you three drinks and a side of fries.
Move In After Completion
I mean, it’s a pretty savage strategy, but I’ve heard worse!
The Ultimate Test
I hate that sometimes on those doctors forms the options for “How much do you drink a week” are either, “Nothing, I’m tea total”, or, “I drink until I pass out every day.” There is no middle ground!
