Whenever we log onto Twitter, we’re undertaking a pretty big gamble. There are enough seriously funny people on there that we might come away feeling better about our day, but it’s just as likely that we’ll end up even angrier than we started.
Part of that is because Twitter can be a very effective platform to voice important, but maddening issues. However, we’d also be lying if we didn’t say that it can lead to some of the most frustrating conversations we’ll ever have in our lives.
So since most of us have more than enough frustrations to go around right now, let’s have a look at the light side of this chaotic grab bag of a website.
I think a lot more of us than we might realize can appreciate how accurate this is.
I can also remember when the “movie that the kids in your class will endlessly quote” crown shifted from Napoleon Dynamite to Anchorman that year.
In my case, it was always the same four or five boys, too. I’m still convinced they were the secret tastemakers of the entertainment industry.
Maybe I’m just tired, but this one took me a second.
I know we’ve seen more minor dealbreakers than that on a first date, but I wouldn’t have guessed this was grounds to ship the kids off to a boarding school that somehow looks like it teleported from Victorian England.
Because if there’s one event that makes it absolutely necessary to clean your room, it’s the one where all the guests will be outside.
The parents can make all the excuses they want, but we knew that the real reason was that one of them stepped on a Lego the night before.
This manages to be wholesome and weird all at once, but the detail that jumps out at me is that they elected a leader for this.
Well, it’s probably more accurate to say that the kid elected himself and the others just kind of shrugged their shoulders.
I also hope that they got to see the fat cat.
Have you ever *heard* someone roll their eyes before?
Because this exchange made it sound like the employee got so worked up in anticipation of some really bad news that it was actually audible when the answer came.
And sure, yes, the reality is probably that they copied and pasted this and are just relieved when they don’t have to keep talking to the customer, but let me have this.
Yeah, having to basically arrange for busing every time you have a family outing sounds like way too much trouble.
As soon as parents start thinking enough of what that would feel like, they start to understand why the McCallisters kept leaving Kevin behind.
It’s nothing personal, kid.
How is it that I’ve never heard any part of a bed referred to as “neckbone meat,” but I know exactly what he’s talking about.
And yes, that is definitely an underrated sacrifice and makes me appreciate how much we tried to scrunch ourselves out of each other’s way in the last relationship I was in.
I’ll give her this, it’s hard not to see that as what they’re doing here.
Apparently, it’s more likely that the parents are doing this to get the baby used to the taste of citrus. I guess it’s easier to disguise that when they’re not in a high chair.
She calls it sad, but I’m starting to think that her brother may be onto a lifehack here.
After all, this means he gives himself a freshly-baked cookie every night.
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Granted, I tend to like them best the day after because they have more structural integrity, but I know I’m in the minority on that one.
It really does feel like this sometimes even if the situation isn’t that dire.
My doctor kind of does a weird thing where he’ll show me a bunch of diseases that I definitely don’t have on the way to his diagnosis of what I do have.
I like that better than this treatment though, because I can tell he just wants to geek out and that would definitely be me as a doctor.
If I didn’t keep having nightmares about being in classes that I didn’t do the homework for, they would probably be like this.
And while there was probably no time when any of us mistakenly showed up to school in our underwear, that’s actually very possible in this context.
Unfortunately, it seems that this man will soon learn a sad truth about the world.
Based on my childhood experiences, there’s no such as “tear free” shampoo. Kids are just easier to lie to than adults.
Of course, that doesn’t mean they won’t try when we grow up.
