You should never trust anyone in this world! Absolutely everyone is out to screw you over and sell your secrets to foreign governments! Well, I think they are… Although I may just be reading too many John le Carré novels.
However, with this in mind, please enjoy these 13+ moments that made us go, “You can’t trust anyone!”
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“My hard drive is dying and my boss said to put it in the freezer… I have no faith in my coworkers.”
“Mmm, Allan, have you tried these new Ryvita biscuits? They’re a little sharp but they’re quite good.”
“Dave, I think you need to go to the hospital.”
“I’m not sure what they’re planning, but I don’t trust em.”
I feel like I’m about to be sentenced to death by the council of boxes. Fold them down before their reign of terror can continue!
“My girlfriend is going to be gone for a week. She either has no faith in me or is setting me up for failure.”
And that is why God invented takeout! Although, you need to be sure to properly dispose of the evidence when she gets back so she doesn’t find out that you can only survive on takeout.
“My boyfriend promised me a fancy dinner for our date.”
I cannot help but imagine that this was the meal that the guy in the last picture made for his girlfriend when she got home!
“My girlfriend has been looking forward to the ‘free gift’ my apartment complex promised us when we signed.”
That is one of the saddest goody bags that I have ever seen in my entire life. And I have seen some spectacularly sad goody bags in my time.
“You promise?”
Can confirm this is a lie. I tried it as at this point I will try anything, but here I am, still a loser.
“Friend of mine is a band director and tuba player. He didn’t trust the baggage handlers with his tuba so got it a ticket. Even gave it the window seat.”
But…why the window seat? I hope that tuba appreciates the view! Apparently, a lot of tubists and cellists do this with their instruments.
Lied To By A Wall!
You spend your life thinking that walls are there to support you, however, just when you least expect it, they let you down!
“She was scared of the slide, I promised her nothing would happen… I was wrong.”
So much of my own childhood has just come rushing back at me. Countless memories of my dad lying to me about stuff being safe and me getting injured.
“My dog always looks like he’s stoned off his ass or has some dirty secret. I can’t tell.”
No, that dog is definitely hiding something. I mean, the thing that it might be hiding is the fact that it has gotten into your stash, but it’s definitely hiding something!
“Can’t trust cats!”
This cat was probably just making sure that you weren’t talking to any other cats on the internet.
“Sign not promising.”
You’d think that step one for this business would be to make sure that their damn sign is lined up, right? Alas, not.
“What happens when your housemate has a wax seal and trust issues.”
I’d actually be more concerned about why he feels it necessary to go to such extreme lengths to keep his housemates out of his drinks!
“We played a game at work last April. People hovered for hours before the first brave person stepped up… they were totally fine.”
One even more devious person suggested, “I would’ve acted like they tasted horrible then pretend to throw them away, but instead would just keep them all for myself,” which is just incredibly dastardly!
“I’m not sure I trust this guy…”
Well, if they’re “gauranteeing” it, then you can’t say no! I guess it’s just a good thing that they’re not teaching English.
“I was promised fun words.”
The guy who was in charge of printing the messages onto these was clearly having a bad day when it came to printing this batch!
“Sneak 100!”
Just thank your lucky stars that you didn’t sprint towards it and absolutely boot the hell out of it. That cat would have killed you stone dead.
“My grandpa doesn’t trust his new Roomba so he’s been following it around.”
What on Earth could the Roomba possibly be doing except cleaning? It’s not like it’s sentient and is plotting your demise… Or is it?
“Thought we could trust my brother in the bath by himself for half an hour.”
I mean, if you didn’t do this as a kid at least once then I pity you! I did this as a kid in a hotel room once, and it caused quite the argument between the staff.
“‘Captain’ Crunch has been lying to us this whole time…”
You’d have thought that if anyone deserved a promotion, it would be this guy. He’s been working tirelessly for years!
“The nurse brought me a cup of water after getting my blood drawn.”
Look, I’m sure that she rinsed it out thoroughly before filling it with your refreshing beverage… Go on, take a sip.
“You can always rely on the newspapers for facts.”
Another statistic in this newspaper showed that the sky is likely blue and that grass is mostly green.
“Trust us. Just don’t!”
You’re not at the seaside unless you’ve had a seagull steal some of your food though, are you?
“I do not trust this bathroom soap.”
I guess that, if you wash your hands with this soap, then you certainly won’t have any more problems with clown fish on your hands… If that’s something that concerns you…
“You can’t trust anything nowadays.”
How do we know that they didn’t actually write that with another pen and then put this orange pen next to it? Good God, I can’t trust anyone anymore…
“My brother got stuck on a swing so I put the hose underneath him like a good brother would.”
I have no idea how they managed to get themselves stuck, but if you are able to get yourself stuck that far off the ground then you have to expect this kind of punishment.
She Always Wanted A Cat
Just accept the fact that you are a dog person! It’s pointless lying to yourself and you’ll be much happier once you accept it!
“My grandpa doesn’t trust restaurants so he carries these in his shirt pocket (C for Carol, E for Edward).”
Mmmm, yes, those dirty old cardboard sleeves look far more sanitary than the clean tablecloth they are sitting on.
“In some way I feel cheated.”
At least it’s just missing some meat and doesn’t actually have a slice taken out of it like it does on the box.
A Panda-Shaped Lie.
I know you can tell if you look closer at the first pic, but that doesn’t ease the pain of being deceived.
“But…you promised…”
If I can’t trust Rick Astley to support and love me through thick and thin, to not give me up, who can I trust?
“Do not trust her meow.”
She looks really disappointed to have finally been caught. Her double-food life was so luxurious.
“My grandma doesn’t believe I am who I say I am.”
“I’ve known my grandkids a long time, there’s no ‘Christopher’, only Chris! No, they’re not the same, and I’ll accept no impostors.”
“I was putting away laundry. I can’t believe what I found at the bottom of my wife’s underwear drawer.”
You think you know someone, just to find out they’re secretly a juggler. Disgraceful.
“Only one can be telling the truth.”
It seems the answer here is to have one of each, or have none at all.
A Helpful Tip.
The only true friends are the ones who decorated this sign. Fighting the good fight.
“I was promised a balcony.”
It is a balcony, but just for your toes!
“The animal shelter sign wasn’t lying…”
I’m fast learning that there just really are absolutely no cats in the world that you can trust. Not one.
“Yes, I ate it.”
I suppose it doesn’t matter where the extra cheese goes so long as it’s there!
“Can’t trust anyone these days…”
As someone quite rightly pointed out, we don’t know what’s on their top half. They could be fish on the top and human on the bottom.
