Depression isn’t always easy to spot. Just because a person isn’t overtly despondent or crying all the time doesn’t mean that they’re not experiencing depression.
An illuminating r/AskReddit thread, “What are the less obvious signs of depression that people are not aware of?” shows us that depression isn’t always overt — and gives us an idea of when it might be time to reach out to friends and loved ones.
Note to readers: This article discusses issues of depression and suicide that may be disturbing to some. Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline if you are in need of someone to talk to at 1-800-273-TALK (8255) .
Memory loss
“Memory issues. I feel like this one gets missed a lot because you can just blame it on simple mistakes or forgetfulness.”
“This is so true…I literally cannot remember more than half of what I did when I was depressed
It’s like my mind did me a favor of erasing all the bad memories by giving me a slight amnesia…”
Lack of cleanliness
“Two of the biggest ones for me were: not showering as often/maintaining hygiene, and not keeping my space clean. Both were a symptom of being unmotivated and not caring about myself or my surroundings, and I was I ashamed because it just seemed like I was dirty and/or lazy, when in reality I recognized how unpleasant it could be and that made the shame and the cycle worse.”
Feeling nothing at all
“Going to work while pretending to be happy, going home, staring at a wall for 4 hours to pass the time, then going to bed to start the next day.
Basically having no interest to do anything and just…letting time pass. Merely existing.”
Not caring for oneself
“Not caring so much about things that cause pain. Physical or mental, it just becomes something to ‘get over with.’
Basically no regard for wellbeing, I was like this at first before and during major depression. I’d sleep at most 6hrs and exhaust myself, not eat right, treat myself like s**t (like everyone else did).”
Appearing to be lazy
“Depression can often look like laziness. So not doing work, leaving the room a mess, neglecting friends or loved ones, etc. They may also mask these things by claiming busyness
Source: I did this.”
“I just say I am lazy these days. In my life I’ve come to learn that a lot of people will forgive laziness before they will try to understand and empathize with depression.”
Lack of appetite
“For years I had people tell me how lucky I am because I’m so skinny and they ask what I do to start skinny. I have no appetite. I can go all day without feeling hungry. Sometimes when I do eat I feel so sick. I have to force myself to eat at times. I’m not hungry, but I know I need to eat.”
Sudden happiness
“Happiness. In fact, it’s a warning sign that a drastic decision has been made. Be wary of a depressed person who has suddenly found peace.”
“Maybe just check in tho, cause I’m very depressed but I’ve kinda been happy recently — kinda like the eye of the storm where everything is calm even with all the s**t going on around it.”
Irritability
“This. I thought I was just a crappy person who shouldn’t have become a mom because why am I so angry at my kids all the time? Yeah they do stupid stuff but it’s just part of being a toddler. Turns out, depression. Fight or flight instincts can be a beast when your mental health is out of whack.”
Lack of interest
“Inability to find joy/enjoyment in things that they used to.”
“Lack of interest is a big one, and probably one of the easiest to spot (assuming you know the person well).”
“This is referred to as Anhedonia , which is literally lack (‘an-‘) of pleasure (‘-hedonia’, shares a root with ‘hedonism’).”
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Trying to recapture old magic
“Watching old movies/shows or playing old video games you use to love over and over to try to recapture the good feelings they gave you once upon a time…”
“I used to do this a lot when I was younger. Now that I’m older, I still do it sometimes but more because I want to know what something is like now.”
Weird sleep patterns.
“Disturbed sleep patterns. Some people get insomnia (like I did) and some start sleeping way longer at night. If you’re an insomniac, you might start taking naps at odd hours of the day due to lack of sleep at night and also feel too exhausted to do anything that takes effort.”
Giving stuff away
“Extreme friendliness / happiness and efforts to give away possessions or donate money to charities. (If this follows several months of deep depression it can be a sign the depressed has decided to commit suicide soon and feels more at peace with themselves).”
Weight loss
“So true, I think I lost about 7-9 kilos while I was depressed. I was on the chubbier side before so it was always a bit awkward when people are in awe of my weight loss. Multiple times people had asked ‘How did you do it? Tell us your secret.’ I hope that no mentally healthy person aspires to depression to lose weight, it is not worth it. I just could not leave the bed and make myself eat anything. Complete loss of appetite.”
Certain conversational clues
“Taken from personal experience, people that are not talking about their problems. They’re describing their life usually as pretty good but they put in some hints like suicide jokes. It’s needed to talk to these guys and kind of force them to talk …”
Upset stomach
“Student of psychology here. One of our teacher who was a psychologist himself used to tell us about people with depression suffer from an upset stomach quite often.”
“That’s the gut biome axis right there.
An out-of-whack gut biome can cause depression and vice versa.”
Going along with things
“You’re agreeing with everything someone throws at you, even if it’s are labels about your personality that you’re toxic or anything like that. You’re thinking: ‘Sure I’m toxic just look at me.’ Just another thought spinning around your head.”
Paranoia
“I think there’s paranoia. Usually [people] think that you are just gloomy and sad, but a lot of the time, you’re also paranoid of what will happen next. (It might be counted as obvious, but I don’t see a lot of people talking about paranoia as a symptom of depression).”
Reduced motivation
“Less motivation. Homework was a really hard thing for me because of my depression, I started to develop depression around 8th grade. In elementary school I had A’s pretty much all around. Middle school dropped to A through C but by senior year when depression was at its worst, I was barely above flunking.”
Talking about death
“Talking or joking about how they want things ‘to be over’ or about their own death or just a general new ‘fascination’ with death. Chances are that they want to hear other people’s opinion or are trying to test if the others cared if something was to happen.”
Being overly agreeable.
“Hyper agreeability. People not expressing an opinion or just going along with whatever others want.”
“My mom used to get really upset about me doing this for some reason.”
Readers, what are some depression symptoms you’ve noticed? Be sure to share in the comments below.
