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Dating Coach Says Feeling ‘Butterflies’ Could Actually Be A Relationship Red Flag

by Kasia Mikolajczak
3 years ago
in People & Society
Reading Time: 3 mins read
A A
TikTok | @coachlaurenzoeller

TikTok | @coachlaurenzoeller

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Have you ever felt those butterflies in your stomach when you first started dating someone? Oh, yeah! It sounds familiar. Am I right? I have to admit I’ve had that happen to me more than once, ha, ha.

But I’m going to share something with you that you’re probably not aware of, so listen up. This is valuable dating advice .

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I’m sure you had your share of first dates.

Image credit: Unsplash | Amber Kipp
Unsplash | Amber Kipp

Maybe you even went on to date that person long-term. Well, it’s always exciting when you first start to get to know someone, and you’ll get those familiar butterflies in your stomach.

That’s totally a normal reaction.

Image credit: Unsplash | Jonathan J. Castellon
Unsplash | Jonathan J. Castellon

After all, you’re excited and nervous at the same time. However, here’s something you should look out for, okay? Well, it has to do with those feelings persisting for a much longer period. That’s when it gets tricky.

That’s what this one woman shared in her recent video on TikTok.

Image credit: Unsplash | Solen Feyissa
Unsplash | Solen Feyissa

She says that if you still feel butterflies after the third date, it can be a red flag. According to her, experiencing butterflies when you’re with someone after a certain time is a signal from your nervous system.

Hmm, that’s interesting, no?

Image credit: TikTok | @coachlaurenzoeller
TikTok | @coachlaurenzoeller

She claims that it’s your body’s way of telling you that something isn’t right with the relationship. She goes on to say that, “true intimacy will come with someone who feels like home to you.”

That makes sense to me.

Now, before you get annoyed and ask whether she’s a dating expert, get this.

Image credit: Unsplash | Ahtziri Lagarde
Unsplash | Ahtziri Lagarde

There is actual research that backs this up. Apparently, when you feel heavy butterflies, your gut is triggered by fear and anxiety. And that can’t be good, huh?

Check this out.

So if you’re feeling this over a prolonged period, it’s your body’s way of telling you this relationship may not be good for you. Here’s why this gets tricky. A little excitement at the beginning of a relationship is totally okay.

However, you need to listen to your body as the relationship progresses.

Image credit: TikTok | @coachlaurenzoeller
TikTok | @coachlaurenzoeller

If you still feel very anxious about it and nervous, it might be time to rethink your next step. Perhaps there are issues you still need to work out yourself, or the person just isn’t right for you.

There are, of course, exceptions to the rule.

Image credit: TikTok | @coachlaurenzoeller
TikTok | @coachlaurenzoeller

And some people always feel butterflies in their stomachs. However, the type of butterflies this dating coach is talking about are the unhealthy ones. So you need to make sure you can tell the difference, that’s all.

So how do you feel about this dating advice?

Image credit: Unsplash | Aziz Acharki
Unsplash | Aziz Acharki

Do you think it’s spot on? Do you often trust your gut when it comes to dating someone? I know it can be hard to distinguish what the right thing to do is, but I always say you need follow your heart and your gut. That’s my advice to you.

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