It’s pretty fair to say that I spend most of my time being confused by something . I’m not saying “all my time,” because I don’t like absolute statements. But 90% is not a bad estimate.
The thing is, most of the stuff I get confused by are really simple for most people to figure out.
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As for what we’re looking at today? Well, they’re the kind of things that make you question reality itself.
Here we go.
1. Yeah, we’re starting off rough. Sorry about that. Not all of these will be this bad.
I’m pretty sure this is what happens when a McDonald’s employee catches you messing around with the self-serve screens and decides to scar you for life.
2. See? Not all bad. This one’s more of a brain twister. It’s a solid question, really.
It’s a shame that no one has funded the research to explore this further. Our society just doesn’t appreciate science like it used to.
3. Listen, I consider myself a bit of an expert when it comes to Tetris-ing stuff into a moving van. This…is a whole level beyond, though.
I feel like that guy who was jealous of Mozart, or the guy from Wham! who isn’t George Michael.
Eclipsed by genius.
4. I get that the car looks like trash, but why is there actual trash on top of it?
Is it to make the car look better by comparison? Because the last time I wore an ugly hat on a date, it didn’t help .
5. That bird knew exactly what it was doing to that seal, and that’s why dinosaurs used to rule the earth.
You’ll have your day, friendly ocean dog. Just hold on.
6. At first, I really didn’t understand this at all.
But the fact that Doug wants to meet at a liquor store explains quite a bit about this cheese-based squirrel sabotage plan.
7. I don’t know much about what’s going on here, but I know one thing.
It doesn’t end well for worms, or old people with bags of bread on park benches.
See? First, the birds came for the seals and we didn’t say anything. It was only a matter of time before they decided to go after the rest of the mammals.
We’re in trouble.
8. That’s odd. Does he think they’re antennae? Is he trying to pick up a pirated T(ree)V signal?
I’m so sorry. I couldn’t help it. The only way I know how to express myself is through puns.
9. OK, hear me out. Beyoncé is E.T., right?
E.T. wanted to phone home. Beyoncé and Lady Gaga collaborated on the song “Telephone.”
Am I the only one who sees the conspiracy here? Open your eyes, sheeple!
10. This demonstrates a fundamental misunderstanding of what I meant when I said “Get me a pine air freshener for my car,” Gary.
Also, don’t forget to take all those boots out of the trunk.
11. Dang. I wish this had made it in the movie. If they do it in Infinity War 2, it’ll be the highest-grossing movie of all time.
Sorry, Natalie Portman. You’ve been replaced.
12. Uhhh, OK. Sold. Where’s the kickstarter? How much?
You know what? Don’t tell me. I want to commit to this without getting scared off. I just need it in my life.
13. That is savage. Mom’s patience is empty too.
My mom would just buy extra milk next time. Not to drink, but to spray in our faces while we are asleep.
What a lady.
14. OK, so maybe you could’ve let me know that on the sign coming into town, and I would’ve turned back around and left.
Although, I guess “Welcome to Snakeburg, IL” was a clue.
15. I mean, sure, you’ve got skills. Except for all those fish on the ground, I guess.
But the treadmill is where feet go. Sweaty feet. The sweatiest of all feet.
16. And here I thought fish were relatively low-maintenance pets.
This thing needs tons of attention, food, and I’m pretty sure it ate all the other fish I had in there.
17. Oh, dude. Can you just…not? This is not cool at all.
Ugh. And just when I thought the worst thing you could put in a hot dog bun was a pickle.
18. This is actually coming around at the perfect time, because after that Spaghetti-Nope mess in a bun, I am officially dead.
At least I can take that relaxing river cruise I always wanted to.
19. Man, the Back to the Future reboot looks lit, not gonna lie.
Although, I think the whole “going back 30 years” plot loses something when they go back to the ’80s and everything looks exactly the same as now.
20. I have to say, I’m glad more mannequins aren’t like this.
Because if they were, I would probably own a bunch of clothing I don’t need. For real, how could I resist this pose?
21. I don’t like the look of this one bit. Not one bit.
See, I’m a competitive person by nature, anyway. But can you imagine if it came down to the last roll of toilet paper?
22. This whole “dog with human hands eating stuff from a spoon” meme is mystifying to me. Like…bruh.
However, and this might be a bold claim here, but this is the best day of my life.
23. I think by now you’ve probably figured out that I am not a smart man.
So believe me when I say that I’ve fallen off an exercise bike, and this is just common sense, OK?
