Sooner or later, we’re going to hurt ourselves in ways we’d prefer other people don’t know about. If we’re lucky, we can get all of our dumb injuries out of the way when we’re still kids and everyone expects us to clumsily flop around.
Many of us are not lucky.
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And if we learn nothing else from these Redditors’ tales of embarrassingly self-inflicted woe, it’s that these boneheaded blunders can happen to the best of us.
1. Even at 6 years old, I realized how dumb I was to try this once I did it.
Reddit user angerona_81 didn’t elaborate on the damage they did, so I assume they managed to get away with only a sore butt like I did. We were lucky.
2. Man, I can’t say I’ve ever made the numbers on my calculator spell out anything hilarious enough to cause this.
Either that or they divided by zero for the first time and their mind was blown. Look, I’m struggling to figure out how something so hella unfortunate happened , people.
Redditor silentlyscreaming01 was the unfortunate person who shared this experience.
3. This person may have found a wrong way to skip angrily, but I’m not sure there’s actually a right way.
I just wish they told us what we all want to know. Why on earth would Redditor szyalk ever need to do that?
4. A mosquito on the junk may teach us to embrace non-violent solutions, but some people apparently learn that lesson harder than others.
It’s at times like these when I express my frustrations through interpretive dance. It’s creative and it scares the bugs away. That’s my advice to Redditor Alejandro2180 here.
5. Yeah, this has to rank pretty high up there for situations where we wish our moms weren’t right so often.
I may have spent some days shivering and coming to terms with the fact that I did need a sweater, but at least that didn’t require stitches like it did for Redditor Astrophysiques .
6. I doubt it comes as much consolation that this would probably be really cool to witness.
Poor Redditor HelloMissMurphy . I’d say that I’d probably start trying to invent time travel around day four to undo this tragic mistake. If only I could focus through the migraine.
7. This is why I believe that sneezing is our most annoying bodily function.
I’ll bet Redditor Creightonsgirl here would agree. Even getting stuck in farty elevator won’t convince me otherwise. The noise and the spray are bad, but those would be fine if it didn’t hijack my body for a second.
So many spilled drinks…
8. Honestly, this is probably the best-case scenario for how this could’ve gone down.
A messed-up foot and forgetting why Redditor halesthesnail even wanted that phone are small prices to pay compared to the TV falling on the rest of them.
Get yourself some storage tips to save your sanity and your foot.
9. Well, I guess we’ve learned a valuable lesson here.
Whenever possible, immediately scarf down any messy food that comes in a tub. Apparently, it’s a lot safer that way. Who knew I was protecting myself with my gluttony all along? Thanks, Redditor nailbunny2000 , for figuring this out the hard way for us.
10. Rabbits may prefer to run away, but even they can have a backup plan if that’s not possible.
You know that friend who is very serious about their personal space? Redditor to_the_tenth_power learned that rabbits are basically that friend as an animal.
In other words, we’re lucky that friend doesn’t bite.
11. It’s not often that we hear of somebody accidentally pulling a schoolyard bully act on themselves.
This story from Redditor Zaelesh also has the weird side effect of making me wonder how Birdman in this pic moisturizes his hands.
He does that move a lot and this never happens to him.
12. Not only did this poor soul fail to protect themselves, but they probably didn’t protect their phone either.
Unless it fell on Redditor Karelious ‘s bed, it probably found a much harder place to land than a soft, fleshy human.
Rice can’t fix that.
13. This may not have been a smart move, but I’ll give it points for uniqueness.
And if anybody asks Redditor to_the_tenth_power if somebody pulled the black ink prank on them, this adventurer can look them in their undamaged eyes and say they’re more hardcore than that.
14. Ouch. This one would get even worse if Mom said exactly why flip-flops and bikes don’t mix.
I can’t be the only one who doesn’t even think this activity by Redditor Ninjapig151 sounds particularly appealing. Making awkward adjustments every four pedals isn’t my idea of a good time.
15. Haha, nothing starts off the day right like accidentally re-enacting “Fight Club.”
Redditor possiblecriminal must have had those blankets tucked in tight!
Bonus points if their arm was asleep and they tried to hold it up only to have it droop back down and clobber them in the face. Not that I’d know anything about that…
16. Aw man, I can picture this being pretty distressing for whoever they were talking to as well.
It’s pretty hard to be chill when you hear Redditor iamwhoiamalways make a sudden scream followed by a strained request to take them to the hospital.
