If you only had a few months to live, what things would matter to you?
Some of us would choose to make amends with the people we have wronged—to fix relationships with our loved ones so that we can feel a sense of peace when we pass.
Others are more revenge oriented.
They’ll use their final days to send one final message of hatred to those who have wronged them.
On one hand, this seems a little harsh. On the other, one person will be dead and the other will not, so who is really winning in this scenario?
One man is struggling through this kind of moral dilemma.
He explained on Reddit that he’s currently doing through a nasty divorce.
His soon-to-be ex wife had cheated on him throughout the marriage, but a recent revelation served as the breaking point of their relationship.
He discovered that one of the kids born from the marriage isn’t biologically his own.
He explains that though it was a blow, the fact that his son isn’t related to him by blood doesn’t matter to him.
“I still love him as mine,” he explains, “I just hate my wife.”
He wants all of his money to go to his children, but the divorce proceedings will likely sway in favor of his wife.
Federal law dictates that if the two parties cannot come to an agreement on which possessions go to which person, assets will likely be split down the middle.
That means that if the divorce is finalized, some of the man’s money will go to his ex-wife.
Or at least, that would be the case if not for some large outside factors.
The man has been diagnosed with terminal stage 4 colon cancer.
His doctors have given him two to three months to live, but the court proceedings for the divorce start in September, which is five months from now.
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“I will be dead before the divorce gets finalized without her knowledge.”
Because of this, he wants to change his will so that his children inherit everything when he passes.
His wife will get the shock of her life, and that’s exactly how this man wants it.
You’d think that his dilemma was a moral one, but that isn’t really the case.
He took to Reddit to ask about the legality of keeping this monumental secret from his wife.
He specifically wants his will to override the divorce agreement.
“I am serious. I am not wanting her to get anything at all”
This is an extremely complicated situation.
What this man is doing is both completely fair and monumentally screwed up.
In a way, his final wishes should be upheld. However, is it fair to the wife? Does she deserve it?
As he requested, most of the internet’s advice was strictly legal.
One commenter urges the man to change his will now, while he’s still ‘of sound mind’.
“It might even be a good idea to get a doctor’s letter that says you are mentally competent, that way, your wife will have serious problems claiming that you were out of it when you made the will.”
Someone mentioned that there are some states that actually have laws in place for this very purpose.
“In some states you can set up a non-spousal beneficiary without the spouse needing to ever know until you’ve passed” they write, “but in others they have to sign a form if you do so.”
Ultimately, the main would greatly benefit from an attorney’s advice on the matter.
One person managed to sneak in a little parenting advice as well.
“Losing one parent is traumatic enough,” they explain, “please don’t try to saddle your children with the responsibility of finishing your cut-throat divorce for you.”
This was the first time that anyone in the conversation had mentioned how his children might react to the situation. It’s unlikely that them inheriting his money would be the end of the legal battle for them.
Overall, most of the comments on his post are factual and clinically cold.
They are step-by-step ways to legally ensure that his will is given priority before he passes.
To be fair, his inquiry was posted in the subreddit r/legaladvice , not the “how should I feel about this” thread.
But is it strictly a legal issue?
The man has a right to choose who inherits his possessions when he dies.
But are his actions fair, or cruel?
When you only have a few months left to live, are you entitled to a different level of morality than others?
These are questions that can not and will not be solved over simple Reddit discourse. These are questions that we could debate for a very, very long time.
We are not in this man’s position, so we cannot say what he should and shouldn’t feel.
All I can ask is this: in your last moments, what kind of person do you want to be remembered as?
h/t: Reddit | TraditionalJudgment0
