For many couples, the nine months that a woman is going through pregnancy can be a hard and trying time in their relationship . For couples, it can put a wedge between them, as some women feel less energized, less motivated, and often times need to rest. This can leave their partners feeling resentful and angry if they feel as though their wife or partner is not pulling their weight.
One husband, however, has been a bit fed up with his wife dropping the ball at home during her pregnancy.
The husband, who wrote into Reddit seeking advice, said that his wife is 24 weeks pregnant.
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While she is far along, she is having a “fairly easy” pregnancy and wishes that she would help out more in the house—like chores.
The husband said as of recently, he’s become burnt out with working full-time and taking care of the house.
“I love my wife and want her to be comfortable while pregnant but working full time and doing 100% of the chores is very draining.
I recently had two separate conversations asking if she’d be willing to do a 80/20 chore split instead, but both times she got offended. She says that it would stress her out and possibly harm the baby, which scared me (I don’t want anything to happen to our baby), so of course I didn’t push it,” the husband wrote.
The two had a spat when his wife asked him to run out and grab fruit snacks for her, a late-night craving.
“Yesterday morning (2am) my wife woke me up and asked me if I could go to the store for fruit snacks. She was craving them badly. I have made many late nights runs but this week has been so stressful for me; I worked overtime the entire weekend and a deadline is approaching.
I told her I was sorry but I really needed to rest, I was exhausted,” he shared.
His wife didn’t like the way in which her husband responded.
“She did not like this answer. First she tried to beg more but I kept saying no. This went on for a half hour. Then she started crying and telling me what a [expletive] husband I was being. She also said she’s “scared to see me as a father if this is how selfish I am,” he added.
Things just got worse from there.
“I snapped at her. I told her I’ve been taking care of 100% of the responsibilities for the past 6 months. She’s been sitting on her phone every single day and hasn’t had to lift a finger.
Then I said I was done doing 100% of the chores and we need a more even split because I was losing hair from stress. I will admit I had a tone and was obviously irritated. This caused her to cry more and she kicked me out to the couch,” he said.
Now, the two are barely speaking and his MIL is even involved.
“This has caused a huge rift between us. She was pissed at me the entire day and locked me out of the bedroom tonight. My MIL has texted me to call me an asshole. They both said the stress I am putting on my wife will hurt the baby so now I feel super guilty,” he claimed.
The husband asked Reddit to give him some perspective and let him know if he was in the wrong in this situation.
While his wife and MIL were against him, a lot of Reddit users agreed with him and had his back.
One person said this wife seems to be manipulating.
“Most women literally hold on to their full time jobs 6 months into their pregnancy and beyond. Why is she not even capable of doing light housework?
The fact that she pulled “it would harm the baby” out of nowhere at being asked to take on even the smallest of responsibility is so manipulative. Her saying you not bending to her whims makes you a bad father was totally out of line too. Never forget, you are both the child’s parents. You get to evaluate her as a mother and as a spouse as much as she does you. What does her current behavior say about what kind of mother and partner she is,” the Reddit user asked.
Other women shared that even at high-risk, they did house chores.
“Have been pregnant four times, all high risk, and not once has my doctor told me not to do regular household chores. If anything, he encouraged it because it kept me active and reduced the amount of issues I could have.
Although there are certain things she should not be doing (anything involving inhaling chemicals, like bleach or bathroom cleaner), changing a litterbox, and anything physically strenuous (shoveling snow, carrying a large vacuum up the steps), and any general health concerns that she shouldn’t have been doing before getting pregnant if any, should be avoided. UNLESS she has a doctor/midwife tell her explicitly not to do anything then light chores can still be done,” another mom shared.
Another added that this is a huge red flag.
“She’s pregnant not disabled. How do single pregnant ladies do? That you do more towards the end of her pregnancy makes sense but not the first few months especially if her pregnancy is going smoothly. You’re her husband not her slave,” one person commented.
Do you agree with this hubby and the Reddit crew, or do you think the wife is justified?
