What’s your favorite part about pizza?
For most of you, I’m sure your answer has something to do with toppings — hot, bubbly cheese, spicy pepperoni, fresh veggies, or maybe pineapple if you’re one of those people. There are lots of acceptable answers out there, but I don’t think there are too many people whose favorite part is the crust.
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Correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t all the flavor of the pizza in the toppings? You know, the good stuff? Well apparently enough people are fans of dry, tasteless crust that one pizza chain has come up with a new product just for them.
“Just the Crusts” pizza is Villa Italian Kitchen’s answer to the apparent demand for less toppings, more crust.
According to VICE , the chain has come up with this unusual new product to satisfy all those people out there who enjoy biting into a sauce-less, cheese-less, crusty bite of pizza.
Each deceptively pizza-shaped box costs $2.75 and contains what looks like the leftovers from some other customer’s lunch, cut and fit together to sort of resemble a naked, sad little slice of disappointment.
Honestly, I’m not really all that surprised that it’s Villa Italian Kitchen who came up with this affront to pizza.
After all, these are the same guys who brought us “Gender Reveal” lasagnas . They’re also the monsters behind Pumpkin Spice pizza , which is exactly what it sounds like and exactly why I refuse to trust this company with anything .
It’s like the whole chain is devoted to taking the best dishes and making them into something no one ever really asked for, but that they’re getting anyway.
According to the company, “Just the Crusts” pizza is something that the people have always been wanting.
“Highly coveted and a hot commodity, pizza crust is often saved as the last delicious doughy bites after a hot, fresh slice by carb-lovers everywhere,” Villa Italian Kitchen argues in their announcement.
They added, “After receiving a record number of consumer inquiries regarding Villa Italian Kitchen’s crust and just what makes it so delicious, Villa Italian Kitchen decided to give the people what they want and serve up an order of crust all on its own!”
The company also boldly insists that the crust is “everyone’s favorite part of the pizza”.
But I’d like to see some data on that one because that’s a pretty huge, sweeping statement to make about something as precious to the people as pizza.
If you’re curious about how it’s made, Food and Wine reported that they use dough to make the outline of their regular pizza, which then gets just a suggestion of cheese and sauce around its edges before its baked and served.
Unsurprisingly, the response from people has been largely been pretty confused and maybe even a little angry.
“This seems like an April Fools thing,” one Instagram user wrote, while another asked that the company give them six slices of pizza instead of six pieces of plain crust.
“Stop playin’,” they added.
But somehow there are actually a few people out there who seem genuinely excited about this new menu item.
“I love pizza crust!” one Instagram user enthusiastically commented. “Sometimes that’s all I eat!”
Another added, “I just first want to say thank you. I’m all for it.”
So, I guess there are actually some pizza eaters who have been waiting all their lives for just this type of pizza (which is to say, not really a pizza at all.)
If you’re one of those people, you can expect to see “Just the Crusts” pizza at participating restaurants starting on July 18. And hopefully, it’s delicious because it’ll be staying on the menu permanently.
h/t: VICE
