In this world, it’s kill or be killed (figuratively speaking), get or be gotten, squanch or be squanched — you get the idea. That’s why you need to assert yourself, show that you’re not someone who can be messed with lightly. These people have done just that with savage efficiency.
1. This might be the old, grizzled hermit of a man in me speaking, but promposals are dumb and should be discouraged whenever possible.
Seriously, who asks someone out via Snapchat? This guy deserves to get blown off with extreme prejudice.
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2. I get that it’s not nice to gloat, but there was no way he was going to get rid of those tickets. Better study up, Tommy!
Kind of a shame he couldn’t get any friend to come in his son’s place. Or sons of his friends to really rub it in.
3. Well, that’s certainly one way to show that you mean business. When is the precinct going to get a low rider?
If that thing has hydraulics, it would be great for going off-road! I bet the stereo is killer, too.
4. I hope that’s a long-term relationship, or that she has a decent sense of humor! Still, it might be a decent way of making a point.
The real pizza better be enough for two people, or I fear for that couple’s future.
5. Girl Guides are absolutely relentless when it comes to slinging their product. To defy them is to court death.
And to kill your chances of getting to have delicious Samoa cookies.
6. Katie knows that there is always a third option. Sometimes, you just need to read between the lines to see it.
To add insult to injury, she could have also circled “Definitely.”
7. A few questions: why do these people need so much milk, where did they get that biohazard tape, and what happened that made them lock their milk up?
Like, this is just super concerning.
8. When you’re tired of people stealing your Neapolitan ice cream, hit ’em with the old ice-cold fake out.
Wait a second, that’s not Neapolitan! Why is there green where the chocolate should be?!
9. It’s one thing to ground your kid, and another thing entirely to rub it in.
As a final insult, her dad probably took a ton of selfies and made them her background.
10. They really should have been more wary of Anakin after this interaction. He’s been dropping hints in each of the prequels.
There are three things Anakin hates: sand, younglings, and not being granted the title of Master.
11. Only a mom who really loves you would roast you this hard.
Whether you’re adopted or not, your parents deserve to be this savage when you ask a dumb question like this.
12. I know some places take their parking situation seriously, but Chili’s needs to turn it down a notch or two.
They probably mix the crushed cars into the food of whoever broke the rule.
13. When you’re as legendary as Stan Lee, you get to be a little full of yourself. And to be honest, the thought on everyone’s mind in a Marvel movie is always “When will Stan show up?”
14. I smell a classic sitcom trope brewing. That, or I left a roast in the oven and forgot about it again. I’ll, uh, be right back.
Good news: It was definitely the sitcom trope I was smelling.
15. He’s got the cleanest ceilings in the whole building, I bet!
It is amazing what people can achieve when we harness all of our pettiness for somewhat progressive purposes, like this.
