Before I got an office job, I would watch episodes of The Office and think, “Wow, that looks like a pretty fun environment to work in! Why are these guys always complaining so much?”
Of course, then I got hired in an office and now I understand. I understand everything .
We do what we gotta do to make a living, and if that means spending 40 hours a week seated behind a desk, chugging back mug after mug of coffee and pretending to care about our coworker’s stories, then by golly we’re going to do it.
If you find yourself suffering through a 9-5 and looking for a little pick-me-up, please enjoy this collection of workplace tweets that will let you know you’re not alone. We’re all dealing with the same, daily nonsense. We’re all in this together.
Inspiring.
I’m just picturing a poster of an old lady clinging to a rope with the phrase, “Hang In There” written below her. It’s kind of adorable?
Just a lil’ change of scenery.
I just want a new building that will give me a good view to stare out at while I contemplate my life choices.
Didn’t know I was so crucial to our success.
But when someone else wants to take a few weeks off suddenly there’s “enough people to cover them.”
What’s this “work” you speak of?
I like to live in this perpetual state of blissful ignorance where I pretend everything’s fine and I’m definitely not going to spend one third of my life inside an office building.
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Please.
And underneath that, “LOL jk, jk. But seriously. Please do.”
“Let’s talk about Janice from payroll next.”
I like to keep my nose out of things until I hear someone mention someone else at work who I really just can’t stand . Then suddenly I’m pouring myself a steaming cup of tea and getting comfy because I’m about to have a much-needed afternoon gossip sesh.
Everyday.
You’d think I would keep that thing closer to me but nope, I always seem to be losing it places.
Why is this so accurate though?
You can’t eat or drink something without at least one person pointing it out. One time I brought in a slice of pizza and it turned into the hottest news of the day around there.
May the odds be ever in your favor.
My solution? I just stopped bringing things that needed to be heated up to work. That shaved about half an hour of wait time off my lunch break.
Learn from me.
Pretty much.
I honestly don’t even have anything to say about this one other than damn , where is the lie though?
Exercise > Social interactions.
I will literally go out of my way to avoid getting stuck in an elevator with a co-worker. You can bet I’ll run my ass down a dozen flights of stairs if it means not having to make small talk for three minutes.
This is a modern office friendship.
There are some people that I have only ever had online conversations with and have never actually spoken to in person, despite the fact that they are literally sitting right across the room from me.
And that’s just perfectly O.K. with us.
Oh good, you have photos too.
Before you start working in an office, you need to figure out your “I’m definitely interested in what you’re saying” face because that’s the only way you’re going to survive, sis.
A queen is never late. Everyone else is simply early.
“Oh this? No, I got this drink before I left the house. It’s definitely not why I’m half an hour late.”
So cute.
I enjoy it when people leave fun little riddles on their food, too. “Please Don’t Eat.” I’ll be thinking about that brain teaser while I devour this delicious sandwich.
We all lose when someone brings fish in to the office.
Not only will the entire office smell like a fishing boat, but the microwave will permanently zap-fry that delicious taste into every meal you dare to try to heat up afterwards.
Hope you like your fettuccine with the essence of three-day-old halibut.
This is actually genius.
I actually do have a twin, a fraternal one, but maybe I’ll start telling people we’re identical so they’ll think they’re running into her instead of me at the grocery store.
Why have I never thought of this before?
See ya.
If only this was a socially acceptable way to end the workday before it even begins.
There’s been a misunderstanding here.
We can definitely be “work friends” but our interactions start and stop with the punch-in clock. I’m sorry, that’s just the way it is.
Don’t be suspicious.
If you have to, start typing random letters on your keyboard and then give a little frustrated sigh as you backspace it all before returning to your intense concentration stare.
What? I may have done this a few times before…
