There comes a time in every woman’s life that they deem extremely special: their first pregnancy. Wanting to tell their friends and family is something they truly look forward to. They want to find the perfect way to tell everyone the great news and sometimes, even try to come up with creative and sweet ways to do so.
However, in some families, not everyone is totally receptive to the news that a new baby is on the way.
Sometimes, it seems that some family members are so wrapped up in their own life, they can’t see the bigger picture when their own family members share good news.
Recently one mom wrote into Reddit asking for advice about her sister’s reaction to her pregnancy announcement.
She shared that the two are “half-sisters” and share a dad, but have never been super close.
“Through her college time and moving as an adult, she would disappear from my life for long stretches of time. If I stopped reaching out I wouldn’t hear from her. I once tested this and didn’t hear from her for the better part of a year before I caved and texted her,” the new mom said.
The mom said her sister is not “unkind,” but rather self-absorbed.
“I’ve lived with her twice briefly and when I’m at her home and in close physical proximity to her we have such a fun relationship. I look up to her and love her so much. She’s super sweet, and kind, and generous…. when it’s convenient to be. Basically, if I’m not physically in her life, I just don’t fit into it,” she wrote.
When she found out she was pregnant, she wanted to tell her sister.
“Last summer I found out I was pregnant. I called my sister and she didn’t pick up. That was not atypical, but I was so excited after my ultrasound I wanted to tell her right away.
Usually it would take her forever to return a call, if at all, so to peak interest I sent a link to the ultrasound photos from my appointment by text and excitedly waited,” she added.
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She waited for her response, but got nothing — until the next day, that is.
“I waited all day for a reply with nothing. It’s not that she just doesn’t have her phone on her, when I lived with her I saw that she always had it.
A day later she replied. Her response was anger that I would tell her about my pregnancy by text,” she said.
The mom felt “ashamed” but also angry at her sister for making her feel bad about such happy news.
“I didn’t reply. And the longer I didn’t reply the harder it got to reply. She never followed up or said another word either. So there it sat for months of silence,” she said.
Months went by and the two barely spoke.
The mom said they “hardly spoke to each other” and when they did, the sister didn’t ask about the baby once. The only time the sister communicated to the new mom was to invite her to her son’s graduation ceremony.
The baby was four-months-old by the time the sister finally asked about him.
By then, though, it was too late for this new mom after repeatedly trying to reach out during her pregnancy and baby’s birth. She decided to not reply to her sister’s message and hasn’t spoken to her since.
“I feel bad for wanting her to reach out so badly, then ignoring her when she finally did,” the mom said.
The mom asked if she was “wrong” for not being the bigger person here.
A lot of people said the mom was “not wrong” for the way she feels.
“It seems like she doesn’t really care that much about you. Relationships are two-way streets, she could reach out to you if she wanted to be in touch. It’s not about being the bigger person, it’s about her not putting any effort into your relationship. You’re entitled to not care about people that don’t care about you,” one person wrote in the comment thread.
Others said that maybe the age difference makes it rather hard to maintain a good relationship.
“I’m saying this because you have almost a decade between each other. You’re at very different points in your life and sometimes that really impacts conversations. My brother and I are 7 years apart and honestly don’t really talk often. We care about each other and talk at holidays but that’s about it. I’m an adult dealing with my own crap and he’s a teen dealing with his own sets of issues. Life happens,” another added.
Do you think the sister’s reaction could just the cause of an age difference, or is there something else going on?
