Money has the power to tear even the closest of families apart. When we consent to others paying our way, we are in essence relinquishing control over certain aspects of our lives.
Recently, one son sent the online community into a tailspin after announcing he wouldn’t be inviting his own mother to his wedding after she refused to gift him a large cash sum. The fallout of which has left people feeling divided.
Weddings are a beautiful celebration of life and love.
Pardon my cheese, but true love is when two souls find their counterparts in one another. A wedding is a glorious moment, filled with laughter, celebration, and the occasional Chicken Dance. Most importantly, it’s an entire day dedicated to celebrating YOU and the one you love.
However, that can become difficult when squabbling family members can’t help but give you their unsolicited opinions.
Anyone who has ever gotten married or is currently engaged understands that weddings can also be immensely stressful — especially if certain family members take issue with the person you choose to be your soul mate.
In a since-deleted Reddit post, one anonymous son explained a very tense issue that had recently arisen with his mother.
The son begins by saying how this May he plans on marrying the love of his life. Unfortunately, his mother isn’t the biggest fan of his bride-to-be.
The mother’s main issue, according to the son, stems from his fiancée’s current financial situation.
More specifically, the mother doesn’t like that her son’s fiancée has roughly 80K worth of student debt to her name. Unlike her future husband, the bride-to-be didn’t come from an affluent family and was forced to take out loans to pay for school.
“My dad doesn’t think I should marry her while she has them, but I made it very clear that isn’t up for discussion,” the son said.
The son also made sure to point out that his father is paying for the wedding. “When my sister got married my dad paid for the wedding, and my mom gave her a cash gift,” he explained .
The cash gift was a substantial sum — more than enough to pay for a down payment on a house.
The son’s other sister is getting married this September, and their mother promised her the same dollar amount. She also informed her son that unlike his two sisters — he and his new wife would not be getting a cash gift.
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“I was pissed because I believed at the time she was doing it because she dislikes my fiancée,” he said.
When the son confronted his mother about this, she assured him that it had nothing to do with disliking his fiancée. Rather, it had everything to do with her student loans.
The mother reasoned that since her son-in-laws had no debt, that money was to start a future.
On the other hand, if she were to give her son a cash gift, she feared it would go toward paying off his fiancée’s student loans — a fact which he doesn’t deny.
The son tried to convince his mother that paying off his wife’s debt was, in fact, in his best interest. But she’d hear nothing of it.
“I didn’t say much at the time, but I thought long and hard and decided I don’t want her at the wedding,” the son proclaimed . “She doesn’t like my fiancée. She doesn’t care about my future as much as my sisters. She is playing favorites with her kids.”
Not surprisingly, the son’s decision has created a stark divide in the online community.
“You can invite or disinvite whoever you like for whatever arbitrary reason you chose, but do so knowing that in this case[sic] you have no real argument against everyone thinking you’re wrong,” Redditor GojuSuzi argued.
While others were a bit more empathetic to his plight.
“She’s blatantly playing favorites,” came the counterargument from chooch57 . “She won’t be giving OP a gift. There are other ways she could gift OP equally to her other kids without paying off the fiancée’s student loans.”
This is the danger of letting family punch your meal ticket. Money is power, so be careful who you give it to.