Some days you just have no time for nonsense . You want to cut right to the chase, no dilly-dallying around in your schedule. You need bluntness and you need it now.
The people in this list agree, finding it easier to just be straightforward themselves or finding situations where honesty was the best policy. Wouldn’t you know, it really is downright refreshing !
“Amazon sent me 4 copies of The Aristocats. I ordered 0.”
The fact that anyone out there would order four copies of Aristocats is a little silly. Who needs four copies of one DVD for? Are you passing along one copy to each of your children, and the one who keeps it the longest gets everything in the will?
“This road leads to a school. Maybe they shouldn’t have made Education Dr. a dead end. I feel it sends the wrong message.”
It might send the wrong message to the kids currently going to those schools, but there are plenty of adults who have long since graduated that would agree. That doesn’t mean we should discourage children or anything, but I wouldn’t call this inaccurate either.
“I saved this little squirrel but my cat wasn’t very pleased…”
Let’s play a game in which we try to figure out why the cat is screaming. Is she mad that you took her prey and are keeping her from unlocking her true hunter potential, or is she worried you’re going to replace her with a cute little squirrel pet?
“Went to a [crappy] Chinese buffet today.”
Of course they give this to you after the fact. “Did you enjoy your meal? I bet you didn’t! Now you get to live with it forever and it’s all on you.”
“My wife says my sandwich looks sad.”
And your wife is right. Listen, I like processed ham squares and cheese slices as much as the next guy, but you deserve better than this. Get the fancy cold cuts. Buy a block of nice cheese. Learn how to apply mustard better. It’ll feel good.
“This shirt my son got it [*sic*] the mail today. He’s obsessed with fans. I cried laughing.”
I’m not sure which part is funnier here, this shirt and the great pun it’s making, or the fact that your son is obsessed with actual fans of all things.
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Wait, no, I figured it out. The funniest part is that there’s someone out there who designed this extremely specific shirt for people like OP’s son.
“A car drove through the front of a barber shop in Delaware, US. This man wasn’t about to let that get in the way of his fresh cut.”
Look at his face. Look at his expression. He does not care in the slightest that a car is in the building. He has places to go and people to see and he refuses to see them without a stylish ‘do!
“Everyone can honk.”
This driver didn’t want to leave anyone out, which is so nice of them! Everyone pick out your favorite sticker, mine is the small one to the left of the plate that reads, “Honk if you love death and dying.”
“Humblebrag here. I’ve been using my pull-up bar a lot lately.”
Pull-up bars, treadmills, ellipticals, weight benches, no piece of at-home workout equipment is safe from the inevitable fate of becoming a clothing rack.
“Sign at my local jewelers.”
It’s good that they immediately signified that they were joking in the sign, because there’s not a doubt in my mind that someone out there would have walked in asking for a pumpkin spice diamond in full sincerity. Someone having a fall wedding, probably.
“My dad’s ‘homemade iPad holder’ for after his eye surgery.”
It’s looking a little precarious there, admittedly, but as long as it works! And he’s willing to take an iPad to the face gracefully should one of those legs go out.
“My husband left town today for a bachelor party. I came home to this.”
People in the comments suggested the uploader send photos of her doing things with the dressed-up pillow to her husband to make him jealous. She said she loved the idea, so now I get to imagine the hilarity that is a man becoming jealous of a pillow dressed in his own clothes.
“My brother has decided to become a mortician; his coworkers baked him a cake in farewell.”
Not only is this a top tier, super clever pun that someone should get a raise for, but it’s also a sweet gesture! You can tell that they’re supportive while also poking a bit of fun.
I imagine the cake decorator was confused, though.
“Adults.”
The quotes around ‘adults’ has me worried. Are there actually adults in this van? Is it three kids in a trench coat driving and they just didn’t want to seem suspicious? Or is it aliens instead?
“Craft Fair Where I Live.”
Hey, don’t knock it ’till you try it. There’s something out there for everyone, and there’s someone out there for everything.
But if you just prefer the craft fair life, I don’t blame you.
“The latest advancement in cyber security.”
Hackers can get through passwords and firewalls and any other protections you have set up, but you can’t hack a good ‘ol metal lock and key. I guess if they tried they’d be more like a traditional thief than a hacker, though.
“I honestly admire the confidence it takes to wear a flower pot as a hat.”
As do I. Kudos to this guy for curating his own unique style, making statements everywhere he goes with hopes of influencing the fashion world.
Or maybe he just really needed a hat and his options were kind of slim.
“Cleaning service left a flyer and envelope asking for a tip. After one day in the rental, I’d say mop the floors.”
This is a personal thing of mine and I’m aware of that, but I refuse to go sockless anywhere that isn’t my own bed. I don’t want things on my feet. Especially dirt like this. If these four had worn socks, there wouldn’t have been a problem.
“I am going through a tremendously rough time, so naturally my roommate bought a mane for the cat to cheer me up. It worked.”
It looks like your cat is enjoying it too! “With this new mane, I am more powerful than ever! Beware both humans and pests of all kinds, I am now a world-class hunter! Wait, unhand me, unhand me this instant I am a predator!”
“That’s a quality joke Biff.”
Jokes like this keep the drivers humble. Not that they need to be kept humble, I think they understand the reality of their work, but it’s a preventative measure.
“Is This Art?”
I’m no art critic, so I can’t give an answer to that question, but I can and will say that it’s deserving of a chuckle. It’s also fascinating. How does that sock stay on? It must have grip strength like you wouldn’t believe.
“Aisle of death.”
The star hanging off that sign really makes it. “It’s barely October, which means it’s time to start getting into the holiday spirit! And what could be more joyous and celebratory than killing every last creature in your house!”
Pointing it out.
The context for this display was given by the uploader, who wrote, “I moved in with my dad a little over a month ago. He asked me to clean my hair from the bathroom sink. I told him I didn’t know what he was talking about. This evening I came home to this.”
“Nutritional information for Chocolate Shoppe ice cream. I appreciate their honesty.”
There really are some foods where, even if you’re on a diet or whatever else, it’s worth tossing that mentality out the window momentarily to better enjoy it. One cup of ice cream, no matter how unhealthy, won’t ruin anything! It’ll only make you happy!c
“This made me uncomfortable.”
This is one of the best pictographs I’ve ever seen. It gets the point across easily, and describes severe consequences in just a few simple images! The sign making you uncomfortable was by design, because now you’ll be more likely to follow the one rule!
Shots fired!
I appreciate Arby’s trying to go after the biggest dog at the dog park here, but they have to know it’s futile, right? People who eat McRibs don’t do it because they think it has real ribs in it, they do it because they’re delicious.
“So, what’s the secret to building wealth?”
I know people with kids tend to get angry at this sentiment, but at least this person knew what they wanted and stuck with it. Kids cost money, they wanted money, so they had to cut one or the other and they made their choice.
“My stationary exercise bike’s pedals have reflectors on them.”
What if you’re stationary biking in the dark? Just because you’re not out on the road, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t make yourself visible to others who may cross your path, like your cat or the ants on your counter.
“Our local Toys R Us location is now a beer, wine, and spirits store. But it looks like Geoffrey stuck around for the party.”
And who can blame him? Toys “R” Us strung him along for years after minimizing his role as a store mascot, he’s more than earned a break and a new job where he can gain some new experiences and deal with new clientele.
“I wish I was joking, but I had just given him a rise [*sic*] this morning…”
That checks perfectly, actually. He worked extra hard to secure that raise, and now that he got it he allowed his brain to relax a little. Well, he wanted it to only be a little, but he might have let it relax a little too much.
