Grandma Asks People Online If She Was Wrong For Telling Her Pregnant Daughter That They Will Have Nothing To Do With Raising Her Baby

Your children are a blessing. However, raising them and doing your best is not always enough. Sometimes, it’s your parents who need to step up and look after them as only they can. Of course, then the question arises—to what extent should you be involved in looking after your children, especially when they might want you to take on a bigger role than you’re actually able to? This is what one mom and grandmother had to deal with. She had raised her daughter’s daughter but now her daughter was expecting another baby and wanted her help with raising it too. But the grandmother wasn’t so sure that she was fit for the job at this stage of her life and what followed was an argument that tore the family apart. Unsure how to deal with this situation herself, the Redditer turned online, where she hoped to find some impartial advice. Here’s what she wrote.

Grandma and husband Eddy weigh their rights to choose against Kelly’s decision to raise her baby

Grandma shares her struggle with her daughter not helping with raising baby Opal

Grandparents trying to help their pregnant daughter become a better parent

Opal doing great – tennis, volunteer projects, and career plans

Grandma makes a controversial announcement at dinner

Grandma wonders if she was wrong for telling her pregnant daughter she won’t help raise her baby

Grandma & Eddy set boundaries for daughter’s baby

Grandma & Grandpa don’t want to raise their grandchild due to old age. Daughter’s response? ‍♀️

Family divided: Grandma’s honest message led to tears, prompting debate over whether it was cruel or necessary.

Grandma’s in a pickle: is she wrong for not wanting to help raise her pregnant daughter’s baby?

Eddy and Opal’s parents plan a mall trip to make up for bad memories

Grandma and Grandpa discuss their support for their sixteen-year-old granddaughter but explain why they cannot raise her baby.

Grandma’s advice to her daughter: Prepare to be independent and accept there’s a limit to their help.

Grandma’s generous offer of raising her daughter’s new baby isn’t accepted kindly.

Grandma called out after expecting her daughter to put up her baby for adoption

Grandma and her husband are too old to raise a newborn baby–they said no, and the family split

Grandma and her husband, Eddy, have been raising their sixteen-year-old granddaughter Opal since she was a baby. Recently, their thirty-three-year-old daughter Kelly announced at a dinner to celebrate Opal’s good grades that she was pregnant with her boyfriend’s child. Grandma and Eddy told her that they would have nothing to do with raising the baby, feeling that they were too old to take on the responsibility. Kelly became upset, calling them heartless and claiming they were throwing the baby away. Eddy and Grandma feel that Kelly needs to become independent and accept responsibility for her own child. The heated exchange has divided their family, so Grandma and Eddy have come here to ask for a neutral perspective. Now, let’s hear from the commenters and reactions …

Grandma is NTA and Kelly needs to “suck it”!

Grandma is not the a**hole for telling her pregnant daughter that they will have nothing to do with raising her baby due to her bad behavior, and in fact, she should have been more rude to Kelly. Opal was celebrated with a nice dinner for completing her junior year with straight A’s, but Kelly overshadowed her announcement by revealing she was forming Opal’s replacement. Kelly has not shown empathy for her parents and is the burden. Grandma has given Opal the choice to become who she decides without drinking Kelly’s poison.

Grandma was NTA ✊

Grandma was totally in the right for declining to take part in raising her daughter’s baby. The comment replies agreed, saying that her daughter needed to take responsibility and that it was inappropriate for her to expect her parents to take care of her second child when she hadn’t taken care of the first. Everyone agreed that the daughter should take responsibility for her own actions.

Grandma NTA for telling her pregnant daughter

The section comment describes how the pregnant daughter opened up a way for the replies by making an announcement and then confirming that she plans to push off the second baby on the grandparents. Grandma was right to tell her daughter that they won’t be raising the second baby, especially since she never asked for help. Grandma was definitely not the a**hole in this situation.

Grandma says NTA

Grandma is standing her ground and says Not the A**hole (NTA) to her pregnant daughter who asked her and her husband to raise her baby. Her comment is supported by multiple replies to the section, which agree that she needs not to explain her decision or offer the family members a chance to raise the baby.

NTA: Grandma was right to refuse ✋

Grandma was right not to take responsibility for her fully capable adult daughter’s child; she had previously adopted her daughter’s child at 17 when she couldn’t support it, but now she is 33 and should be able to stand on her own two feet. The replies found here express further disapproval of the daughter’s decision and suggest that the conversation between her and her boyfriend must have been questionable.

Grandma was NTA but needs support

Grandma’s reply was reasonable and justifiable, although the timing of this conversation wasn’t the best. The commenter urges Grandma to ensure her daughter, Opal, gets the attention she needs as her emotions may become more heightened when the baby arrives, especially if Kelly starts to act like a real mom.

Grandma is NTA. ‍♀️

Grandma is Not The A**hole here for telling her pregnant daughter that she and her husband will have nothing to do with raising the baby. Everyone agrees her daughter is an entitled a**hole and Grandma should not enable her daughter’s behavior anymore. The commenters suggest that Kelly should either take responsibility for being a parent or stop having kids.

Grandma NTA: Kelly’s jealousy and power plays hurt everyone

Grandma was not wrong for telling her pregnant daughter that they will have nothing to do with raising her baby. Commenter suggests that Kelly, who is barely in her existing daughter’s life, is displaying jealousy towards Opal as well as attempting to hurt both her mother and Opal at the same time. Reply suggests that mental illness or personality disorders may be a factor for Kelly’s behavior and can’t be parented away.

Grandma reacts to news.

Grandma reacted truthfully to Kelly’s news that she was pregnant and that her daughter, Opal, would have nothing to do with raising her baby. NTA (not the a**hole).

Was grandma wrong?

Grandma needed to be blunt right away with her pregnant daughter to shut down plans of raising her newest baby. She wasn’t wrong in this case and NTA.

NTA Grandma!

Grandma made the announcement of her family’s decision to not be involved in the raising of her daughter’s baby, to which the comment agrees that she was Not The A**Hole (NTA). There’s one reply that finds the situation humorous, making fun of the oversimplification of the situation.

Grandma in hot water ✋

The comment questions how the conversation went from Kelly, the daughter, and her boyfriend being busy with life, to the grandparents being expected to look after their grandchild. Replies explain that it’s likely because they have been raising the first grandchild and Kelly’s comment about being busy with life hints that she plans to leave her new baby for them to take care of.

Holding firm

The comment expresses support for the grandma and clarifies that she was not the a**hole in this situation. It encourages the grandma to stay strong and hold tight in this difficult time.

Grandma speaks out: NTA

Grandma feels she was right for telling her pregnant daughter that they will have nothing to do with raising her baby after the daughter hijacked her granddaughter’s celebration. Grandma emphasizes that it’s a shame another life is brought into the world for everyone else to take care of.

Grandma says NTA

Grandma said her pregnant daughter is a sh*t mom who abandoned her first child and was planning to dump the second one on them too. Grandma believes her daughter is like this now because they didn’t put their foot down when she was a teenager.

Grandma’s response to her pregnant daughter

Grandma expressed her boundary for not wanting to be involved in her daughter’s pregnancy after being abandoned. The replies discuss how hurtful it was for the daughter to receive the news at her celebration, and that the grandma is NTA for expressing her boundary.

Grandma NTA: truth or kick Kelly out

Grandma is not the a**hole for telling her pregnant daughter the truth that they will not be part of raising the baby. She and her husband are being criticized by her daughter’s partner, Kelly, who is described as an a-hole. Grandma and her husband are advised to stick to their guns and kick Kelly to the curb.

NTA. Grandma drew the to herself

Grandma was not the a**hole: Kelly now knows what she has to do to take care of her baby, and her parents drew the spotlight on themselves by announcing their plans publicly, thus expecting public commentary.

Family members should step up

NTA – The commenter is not the a**hole for telling her pregnant daughter that they will have nothing to do with raising her baby, as she has seen firsthand how this goes with family and friends. The commenter believes that the other family members who are criticizing her should step up and take the baby if they feel so strongly about it.

Grandma ✋ asks for advice

The commenter believes Grandma is NTA except for discussing this in front of Opal, who already knows her Mom doesn’t want to raise the baby. No a**hole here, but talking about this at the baby’s celebration was inappropriate.

Grandma was NTA or YTA ‍♀

Grandma was unsure if she was wrong for telling her pregnant daughter that they will have nothing to do with raising her baby, as Kelly may have insinuated that her parents would take the baby. Kelly further confirmed their suspicions by trying to guilt-trip them with the adoption threat. The comment replies provide further insights and context around the situation.

NTA: Grandma is right

Grandma is not the a**hole as she states that it is the daughter’s responsibility to raise her baby, given that she is in her 30s now.

Grandma takes a firm stance

Grandma is NTA for telling her pregnant daughter that they will have nothing to do with raising her baby, despite the fact that Opal was present. Grandma felt that if everyone heard what she said, it would prevent Kelly from making up stories about the situation. It was an unfortunate situation, but Grandma deserves the benefit of the doubt for making the decisions she did in real time.

Grandma is NTA for setting boundaries

Grandma is questioning whether she was wrong for setting boundaries with her pregnant daughter, and affirming that the daughter, at 34 years of age, should set her party life aside and step up as a parent. Grandparents need the chance to be grandparents, not primary caregivers.

Grandma NTA but YWBTA

Grandma was not the a**hole for telling her pregnant daughter that they will have nothing to do with raising her baby. However, she was wrong for sharing the thread with her daughter Opal as she’s still developing emotionally. Grandma should reconsider and leave Opal out as much as possible.

Grandma’s advice: NTA

The commenter says that the grandma is Not The A**hole (NTA) for giving her pregnant daughter advice, as it was important that the daughter take responsibility for her actions, and not expect others to raise her baby.

NTA: Grandparents can’t be responsible for raising kids

The original poster states that it is not their responsibility to raise their grandchild and that their daughter, Opal, already knows what the score is about her own mother. One of the replies agrees and adds that the original poster and her husband are being very accommodating in the situation.

Grandma’s hard truths?

The commenter is trying to decide between NTA (not the a**hole) and ESH (everyone sucks here) for Grandma’s opinion on the situation. They think it was Kelly’s time to tell some hard truths, but question if escalating the situation publicly would have twisted the knife for Opal.

Grandma has to weigh in

Grandma was justifiably called an AH for her public lashing of her pregnant daughter Kelly, but she’s also not responsible for raising any grandchildren. The replies suggest that Kelly was trying to embarrass the grandparents into giving in, making this a tough situation for the whole family.

Grandma not the a-hole ‍♀️

The commenter encourages the grandma, stating that she was right to speak the truth to her daughter and that Kelly’s reaction indicates she had intended to use her grandma to raise her baby. The grandma is also praised for taking care of Kelly’s daughter Opal.

NTA: speaking truth to power

The commenter argued that the grandma was right to tell her pregnant daughter that they wouldn’t be involved in raising her baby since they weren’t too busy to make the baby in the first place. The commenter suggested that the grandma was not the a**hole in this situation.

Grandma❗️❗️ Online Debate

The original poster’s grandma was NTA (not the a**hole) for warning her pregnant daughter that they would not be taking part in the baby’s raising. Commenter sympathizes with OP (original poster) and shares an experience of a family member with a similar situation where the mother ended up having to take care of all the kids. Grandma deserves *props* for having the tough conversation.

NTA – Grandma should have spoken up

The section commenter argued that Grandma was Not the A**hole for telling her pregnant daughter that they will have nothing to do with raising her baby.

Grandma NTA for telling daughter

The commenter, who is speaking about the grandma, thinks that the grandma was not the a**hole for telling her pregnant daughter that they will have nothing to do with raising the baby. The commenter further wonders how the grandma’s daughter, Opal, is taking this and how they would feel if the same happened to them.

Grandma gets support

A commenter declares that Grandma was NTA (not the a**hole) and expresses disbelief at the pregnant daughter’s thinking.

Grandparents standing strong

The comment suggests that the grandparents are not the a-hole in the situation, and is praising them for standing up for their beliefs. They are also mentioned to be great-grandparents, and the daughter is mentioned to be lucky to have them.

Grandma not the a**hole

Grandma was not wrong for telling her pregnant daughter that they will have nothing to do with raising her baby. It would have been better to say it in private, but people like Kelly twist things around to make themselves look like the victim, so it was probably better that it was said in public. Kelly is not cut out to be a mother and cannot expect grandma and her husband to raise her child.

Grandma protecting her daughter ‍♀️

Grandma believes her daughter is being selfish for having a baby when she can’t afford it, and is standing by her decision to not help raise the baby.

Grandma’s tough decision

Grandma NTA says she shouldn’t have kept the baby if her pregnant daughter wasn’t ready to be a mother, as it would mean taking on the responsibility of raising another child.

Grandma isn’t the a**hole

Grandma believes it is her pregnant daughter’s responsibility to decide whether she wants to raise her baby and that it’s not Grandma’s place in the equation. For this opinion, she is not the a**hole.

Grandma’s wrong move

Grandma made a wrong move by telling her pregnant daughter at her first daughter’s celebration that they will have nothing to do with raising her baby. According to the commenter, this was done to make a scene, but not the one she was hoping for.

Grandma takes a stand

Grandma was not the a**hole (NTA) for telling her pregnant daughter that they will have nothing to do with raising her baby, given her daughter tried to push her into making an implied offer before others. Grandma feels like drawing a line in the sand and sticking to it is the right choice. People not taking sides against Grandma should consider taking the next 20 years to help raise someone else’s child.

Grandma’s got a point

The commenter believes that the daughter, Kelly, should get her tubes tied since she doesn’t know how to be a parent, and is angry that her parents won’t raise the baby even though it is her second child.

Grandma was wrong ✟ NTA

Grandma told her pregnant daughter that she and her partner will have nothing to do with raising the baby, but commenters agree that while the timing may have been off, Grandma was in the right – Not the A**hole.

Grandma isn’t the a**hole ‍♀️

The comment states that the grandma is not an a**hole for telling her pregnant daughter that she and her husband will have nothing to do with raising the baby, as she needs to face the consequences of her actions alone.

Grandma had to set boundaries

Grandma was not wrong for informing her pregnant daughter, Kelly, that they will have no role in raising her baby. Opal, the daughter, had a free pass with Kelly gave her a lifetime of selfishness and lack of improvement. Grandma had to hold her accountable and make her position known publicly.

Grandma stands her ground

Grandma was NTA for standing her ground and telling her pregnant daughter that they won’t be raising her baby. Grandma should also make sure that Opal, the daughter, doesn’t feel like a burden after this by double-downing with Kelly (not in front of Opal) that they won’t be raising her second child and sticking to that.

Grandma hits back at daughter expecting her to raise baby

The commentator holds that the grandma was NTA (not the a**hole) for telling her pregnant daughter that they will have nothing to do with raising her baby. One of the replies agrees, noting that the grandparents had oversupplied for the first child and owe her nothing. Another reply suggests that the daughter may be a ‘take an inch, take a mile person, hence the grandma setting a hard-line expectation.

Grandma’s Advice

Grandma told her daughter that they won’t be involved in raising her baby, and commenters agree that Kelly needs to grow up. Everyone was glad that the grandma defended her opinion.

Grandma sets a boundary

Grandma is NTA for setting a boundary with her pregnant daughter, Kelly, after her track record of neglect and carelessness. Grandma is more concerned about her daughter’s feelings than Kelly’s pregnancy.

Grandma confronted her pregnant daughter

Grandma was not the a**hole for expressing her feelings and confronting her pregnant daughter. Kelly wanted to start drama and got what she desired. Grandma is not the a**hole unless Opal has a problem with what she said.

Grandma speaks her mind

The commenter believes that the grandma was not an a-hole for telling her daughter that they wouldn’t help raise the baby.

Grandma told her daughter the truth

The commenter was in agreement with the grandmother’s decision and believed that her response to her daughter was the right one.

NTA: Grandma’s right ‍♀️

Grandma is not the a**hole for telling their pregnant daughter that they won’t be involved in raising the baby, but someone raised this commenter for them to make this comment.

Grandma not the a**hole

The commenter believes Grandma is not the a-hole in the situation, as she may not be mentally old enough to be a parent.

Grandma❤️ Opal: A Tough Love Tale

Grandma was not the a**hole (NTA) for deciding to distance themselves from their daughter’s baby. She should have chosen a better way to express it without letting Opal, the baby, feel like a burden to the family.

Grandma’s Tough Love

Grandma was not the a-hole in this situation; she expressed tough love toward her pregnant daughter, Kelly, in an attempt to wake her up.