We always think that as the animal at the top of the food chain we’re logical, critical thinking beings who only use the best, most complete information to make decisions.
But if you’ve ever met another human being, you know that is total bulls***.
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Case in point: the following “logical” human beings. Browse through this gallery of idiocracy if for no other reason than to make yourself feel better about your own poor life choices.
1. Indeed, demo furniture is the perfect place to store a tomato.
I mean, where else you gonna put a tomato, a kitchen? Whatever, square. That is so not the outside-the-box thinking we need nowadays.
2. Her hypocrisy knows no bounds.
I’m more concerned about the graphic designer who created that bag. The mix of all caps and lowercase letters, plus the random ellipsis that doesn’t make any sense in that context. I just can’t even.
3. What’s more befuddling, the single blind or the window that narrow in the first place?
“They said they wanted more windows, Bob.” “What?! Have they no respect for aesthetics?! Fine, they’ll get their window, but they won’t like it.”
4. Narrow window designer from No. 3 probably installed glass bathroom stall doors, too.
You know, for when you want to know if someone’s pooping but don’t want to make eye contact while they’re pooping.
5. Surprisingly, it’s not what you think it is!
It only looks like there are poop smears all over this counter because…well, I’m not sure why, but you can probably find this sink in the same bathroom as the glassed-doored stall.
6. “Oh, you haven’t heard of The Outlets? They’re, like, very obscure, but honestly, I prefer their earlier stuff.”
It’s like when you hold a seashell up to your ear and can hear the ocean…but not like that at all.
7. Why do these darn things have to be so complicated?
He was a simple man, who just wanted to eat his corn without any hassle. At least he got the can open!
8. You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.
“Yeah, we’re The Sliding Door Company, but we don’t wanna, like, put ourselves in a creative box or anything.”
9. Looking for a new apartment? Love slick, wet floors? I’ve got just the place for you.
This charming bachelor apartment in New York is going for a cool $9,000 a month. Just kidding! But whoever designed this sink definitely threw their logic out the window.
10. And I bet they stared him long and deep into his eyes, thinking this was gonna turn into some summer food court fling.
I mean, he is pretty cute… That tie just screams success!
11. Oh, stop freaking out. It’s just apple juice in the little girl’s glass.
Probably. Although, if you think about it, other than really drunk people, who needs unbreakable glasses? That’s right: toddlers.
12. Business in the back, slumber party in the front.
Named the double bubble pony, most people like this hairstyle because it keeps your hair out of your eyes. Not really sure what the logic was here, tbh.
13. Please do not take relationship advice from this guy.
No matter how tasty Cheetos are, or how badly you wanna breakup with your significant other, this is not a wise a move!
14. And this is why I try to stay as far away from the kitchen as possible.
I laugh at this guy for putting his cutting board inside the oven, but on the inside, I just thank heavens it wasn’t me…this time.
15. Ladies, tired of having to sit down to pee? Introducing the urinal for woman!
Simply hook up that totally sanitary, not-at-all sketchy hose to your lady bits, and relieve yourself like a dude! Standing up to pee isn’t just for boys anymore!
16. Finally, washing all your veggies just got some much simpler.
And the spin cycle makes your lettuce so fresh and smelling like you hung it out to dry on a summer’s day. Also available in lavender scent.
17. I hope the irony here is intended.
Either way, getting a tattoo of a Sharpie is pretty silly. The text is fine, but the marker is weird.
Props to the tattoo artist, though, because it’s well rendered.
18. Please tell me there’s a story behind this cake.
Like, if a person is celebrating finally quitting, that’s awesome, but no one should ever make a cake like this. Even if everything is make of candy and frosting, they somehow made a cake look unappetizing.
19. How about you don’t post screenshots of this on Twitter, ‘kay?
Was the original message gross? Yep, but committing blackmail and then bragging about it publicly is pretty dumb.
20. I give you the automotive reverse-mullet.
It’s a party up front, but all business in the back!
Seriously, though: Why is this a thing someone thought should ever exist? Why?!
21. Well, this is officially the worst attempt to capitalize on Pokémon Go’s popularity.
Because we all want to start associating a wholesome children’s property with sexually transmitted diseases, don’t we?
22. I mean, it sucks to not have any green spaces to sunbathe in, but this seems desperate.
At least choose a spot that isn’t right beside the garbage bins. It just makes it more gross.
23. This is a funny joke, but is it really life-long funny?
You’re laughing now, but what about when you’re elderly and your grandkids are wondering why you have a wrinkly poop on your arm?
24. One step forward, all the steps backward.
It’s official. I will just never understand high fashion. Who looks at a boot and thinks combining it with a second, backwards boot is a good idea?
And who pairs it with see-through blue pants?!
