Everyone has something that their parents did when they were growing up that was a little different from the other parents. My dad, for instance, used to lie to me about absolutely everything in the most ridiculous manner possible. The prime example being when I asked how sugar mice were made, and I looked like a right madman when I explained confidently to my 7-year-old classmates that sugar mice were made of real mice which had been skinned and filled with sugar. That was one hell of a letter home.
Anyway! For a lot of people, their childhoods were filled with sadly much more severe deviations from the norm. One person took to Reddit to find out what aspects of people’s childhoods were shockingly out of the ordinary by asking, “What was a normal part of your life growing up that other people were shocked by?”
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There was a plethora of answers, a collection of which I have gathered for you here. (Please be aware that some of these stories contain instances of abuse, so please read with caution).
Siblings Being Better Parents Than Their Actual Parents
“Took me forever to realize that an older sibling taking the role of an emotionally absent parent is not normal.” — CapnToastyOats
This was quite a common answer, and a lot of people were praising their older siblings for stepping up and caring for them when they should have been enjoying their childhood.
General Neglect
“My house was filthy, and I mean REALLY filthy. Black mold covering the 2 different corners of a finished basement, trash all over the floors, never clean clothes because the washer and dryer were broken, dinner once or twice a week with no food in the house. Whenever I’d go over a friends house Id notice ‘wow it’s so clean in here./ ‘Everything smells so nice.’ ‘Look at all those snacks in the cubbord’.” — BrockStudly
Thankfully this person said that they were moved out of their mother’s house, and now live with their “outstanding dad.”
No Family Meals
“I’ve never had a family dinner at home. We just all get our food at different times and eat in separate locations”
Eating together as a family a couple of times a week is very important, as it can be used to promote healthy eating rhythms and can be used as time for bonding with your family.
Living In Squalor
“I grew up in a gross place. My single father was a drunk and left the apartment a mess. The couch was covered in rips with stuffing coming out. Stains all over the floors. Flies. Cr*p everywhere.
“My best friend of almost 30 years was telling me a while back that when he first came over he was amazed at how poor we were as he thought he was the poorest kid in town. I explained that a lot of it had to do with my dad just leaving it in a bad state and being too drunk to clean or to teach me or my brother to clean. But his mom did work and she kept their apartment clean. We had a good laugh on that.” — Sirnando138
This person went on to write that they now keep an immaculately clean house with their wife. Good to know that the practices of the father weren’t transferred to the son.
Kneeling On Rice
“Kneeling on rice as a punishment for just about anything. Mom would throw a few handfuls of rice in a corner and you had to kneel on it for 20 mins to an hour, hands behind your back, and don’t you dare try to lean on that wall or you’d get smacked in the back of the head and into the wall and your time would start over.
“Afterwards you’d have to clean it up including any blood from broken skin and then often you’d have to help make dinner or do whatever chore as if nothing happened.” — NexGenjutsu
A lot of people shared that this was a common practice in their houses also. This is not something I have ever even heard of, but tragically is much more common than it should be!
Not To Be Trust Anything
“Never being able to tell your parents the truth about where you are going. I remember the first time I realized it was weird when at a friend’s house, we were leaving and all she said was ‘we’ll be back later’ and her mom said ‘have fun’. I was shaken, no interrogation and her mom seemed to trust her. It was WILD” — lampshade_rm
Kids need their own space, and to be trusted with their own independence. It is a vital part of growing up!
Weirdly Proportioned Furniture
“This is fairly mild. My dad extensively renovated our house. He made every benchtop, door frame, window, shelf, desk, sink, shower, cupboard or drawer at a comfortable height for us. Our ceilings were 9ft. My family is well over 6ft – with my dad topping out at 6’6.
“When people first came to my house they were shocked by the height of everything. We had little stools in the bathroom for short guests. We even had to get stepstools in the ‘children’s room’ because our normal height friends had issues getting on the couch when my siblings and I were younger. My house was the stuff of legend on the yard.” — paperconservation101
This one is adorably hilarious! It’s like something out of a quaint children’s novel, and it’s very refreshing to have a quite cheerful one!
Breaking Away From The Nuclear Family
“Not knowing who my father was. I went to a Catholic school so it was pretty weird to not have a nuclear family when I was younger. It’s not so much of a big deal nowadays but it still makes people pause when I tell them I’ve never met my dad.” — yeahnothankyou1
It can make you feel self-conscious when you’re growing up to have a family that is less than “traditional” in the eyes of those around you. However, whoever you have in your life who loves you and cares for you is your family, and as you get older you realize that you have nothing to feel self-conscious about.
Being Physically Disciplined
“I grew up being disciplined physically. Got the belt, the hand, the slipper, wooden spoon you name it […] I remember being in 8th grade and having a conversation with my friends and we were talking about our parents and I nonchalantly was like ‘oh yeah my mom hits me all the time! She always slaps me in the face I’m used to it’ Because I genuinely and truly thought this was normal.
“I didn’t realize how f*cked up it was until my teacher brought me into the hallway to ask if my home life was okay and explained to me his ‘duty to report’ thing […] going forward this teacher used to walk on eggshells when it came to giving me bad comments or speaking with my parents during parent-teacher interviews because he didn’t want me to get in trouble.” — thotsupreme
As a teacher, it must be so difficult seeing or hearing about these instances. And, though they may not want to make things worse for the child, such as the teacher in this instance, they have a duty to report these things.
Freezing Temperatures
“I grew up in this rickety old farmhouse in the middle of Minnesota. It was really cold a lot of the year, and our upstairs didn’t have insulation, so we didn’t have any heat upstairs. We’d sleep with an electric blanket and loads of other blankets heaped on top. When I woke up in the mornings, there would sometimes be frost on my walls because it was so cold and the windows didn’t keep the cold out very well.
“It would also sometimes get to -50 degrees Fahrenheit and then school would automatically be canceled because kids couldn’t wait outside at the bus stop. And sometimes mom would take us outside to blow bubbles on really cold days. The bubbles would freeze in midair and fall to the ground and shatter.” — sleepyhollow_101
That sounds like my kind of place! I love the cold weather, give me an overcoat over a pair of shorts any day! Although, frost on the walls might be a little too cold.
Random Gifts
“My parents never gave gifts on time, and rarely kept them a secret. There was no waiting excitedly or patiently for Christmas morning in my house. If the gifts came early, Christmas could be the 16th of December, or if they came late, it could be the 20th of January.
“When I was younger, my parents usually didn’t have enough money saved up in time to buy the presents, and honestly my mom had poor planning on when she should buy them for shipping to make it in time. It never bothered me and my brother because it was a Russian Roulette of what day Christmas would come, which I think is more fun.” — terrificandhappy
This person went on to say that even though their family now has more money, they still just give gifts randomly instead of on occasions as a force of habit.
Being Forbidden From Visiting the Doctors
“My parents never took my siblings and I to the doctor or dentist unless bone was showing or you were on death’s door. I always assumed it was because we ‘couldn’t afford it’ but it wasn’t until I was much older and in therapy, I realized it was actually because my parents were controlling. Both of them worked in the medical field (but they weren’t doctors), so they thought they knew better than everyone else. If we did get sick (I had chronic sinus infections as a child because I had terrible allergies-none of which they addressed), my dad would call his colleague’s wife (who was a doctor) explain my symptoms and she would prescribe antibiotics.
“My dad also forged my annual immunization forms for high school one year because he didn’t want to take me.”
Thankfully, this person wrote that they now are independent and visit the doctors regularly. The part about their father forging immunization forms is particularly worrying, as you are then putting more than just your own child at risk.
Trips To The Liquor Store
“The amount of trips to the liquor store. When I was young, nearly every time I got in the car with my mom or dad, the story was the same. ‘We’re going to stop at the liquor store then home’. Sometimes when I’d switch parents (they are divorced) I’d stop at the liquor store twice, once each way.
“One day I was at a sleepover at a friends house who’s parents weren’t extreme alcoholics, we ran errands […] On the final trip I poked my head up between the front seats, and trying to be helpful and remind them said ‘aren’t we going to stop at the liquor store?’ And the parents looked at me like I had two heads ‘….no?'” — AllOfTheSoundAndFury
I think the saddest part is the fact that as a child they were trying to be helpful. The innocence of youth can be heartbreaking at times.
Having A Pet Bear
“That my personal pet was a bear, up in Alaska I hand fed a black bear sandwiches as I got off the bus. Eventually, he got bold and started coming to our porch. I fed him some salmon and he never left. That was until a female black bear came onto our property and he left with her. Apparently black bear cubs will get kicked out of the nest. So we basically took him in, he was malnourished, and then he went off to start a family.” — Tx2015
This was perhaps my favorite answer on the feed! As far as good pets go for keeping your house safe, a bear is pretty amazing!
Strict Religious Rules
“I grew up ultra-orthodox Jewish so, a lot of stuff. No TV, no internet, no video games, speaking Yiddish at home, lying motionless on the sabbath pretty much forbidden to do anything, etc.” — deadantelopes
When kids who have had a strict religious upbringing eventually move away from home, the shift into a world largely unsheltered by religious rules can be daunting to some.
Living In Fear
“Whenever my friends would come over, I would tell them about the rules you had to follow when talking to my dad. This would include: agree with everything he says, don’t speak unless asked a question, always try and answer (don’t say ‘I don’t know’, don’t cry when he has a go at you, etc, etc
“Took a few friends meeting my dad then refusing to come round again/ being picked up early because they were upset, to realize that most kids don’t live in constant fear of a parent, and don’t have a set rules in order to keep said parent calm and happy.” — RoughView
No one should be forced to live in constant fear of a parent, it’s a horrific condition to impose upon a child.
Sharing Shoes
“Grew up with seven siblings. Five brothers and two girls. Between the brothers, we had just four pairs of shoes which meant that at least two of us had to stay at home. Went to school barefoot for almost a week before they called child services.” — ssimonsayss
Being Constantly Armed
“Being told to bring a knife everywhere. Growing up in a low-income household we had to live in a sketchy neighborhood. I was told to bring a pocketknife everywhere I went to keep myself safe. I still don’t feel safe when I don’t have one on me” — 57-raspberry-punches
No child should feel like they need to be physically armed. It’s heartbreaking that this family were in a position where they had to take such precautions just to feel safe.
Being Able To Leave The Door Unlocked
“Growing up, we never locked the front door, ever. And neighbors would come in for a chat or drop something off at all times. I didn’t know that this was unusual until I moved away from home in my 20’s and a friend freaked out when I didn’t double-lock my door at night when they stayed over.” — Thoughtcomet
I cannot fathom living somewhere that you could leave your front door unlocked and not be at risk of having something stolen! I’m also extremely paranoid about people breaking into my house though and check the locks on all the windows and doors about eight times before I leave the house, even if it’s just next door. I’m starting to now think that maybe I may be the crazy one.
Not Having Their Own Space
“I’ve never had my own room. I grew up in a 1-roomed apartment with mum, dad, elder brother, a dog and a cat. We never had much space there, but a lot of furniture that was really necessary. People didn’t understand why I never invite friends to my home. Ah, that jealousy when somebody complains about parents entering their room without knocking.” — kassiny
It is easy for some of us to take for granted the things that we had growing up, like a loving family and our own space, it is important to be thankful for those things, and pass them on to your own kids if you have any. Also, while a lot of these stories are heartbreaking, a lot of the people explain that they are currently living a much better life now, surrounded by people who actually love and care for them.
