When you sign up to be in a committed relationship, chances are you want to be a part of each other’s lives as much as possible. You understand that it’s not just a romantic connection, but also a friendship or family one, so you try to do your best and compromise. But then sometimes certain things happen and you realize that maybe this is not the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. Or rather, the person doesn’t really want to spend more time with you and all of those lovely things are just words. A woman shared on one subreddit how her husband sometimes excludes her from gatherings with his family and after she finally got fed up with this, she went to the same restaurant as them, but alone. It caused a big scene, but she was hoping for people online to tell her if what she did was wrong.
32F wants to stand her ground, despite her husband’s family banishing her from their dinner!
Despite being excluded, the wife decides to crash her husband’s family dinner but gets called a jerk.
Wife banned from family dinner but decides to show up anyway, facing a backlash!
She ignored his family’s banishment and showed up to confront her husband – but got called a jerk instead.
Wife takes action after being “banished” from dinner and gets called a jerk
Wife defies the family ban, gets called a jerk for doing so.
An awkward family dinner that didn’t end well. Should the OP have respected her husband’s wishes or stood up for herself?
She showed up uninvited – jerk or not a jerk?
The post talks about a woman (32F) who had been married to her husband (35M) for 3 years and had a tradition of going out to dinner with his family once a month. But this time, she wasn’t invited. After getting inconsolably angry, she decided to show up uninvited at the restaurant to prove her point. She ended up being labeled a jerk by her mother-in-law. Is she an asshole? Well, let’s see what the reactions have to say. The post is sure to generate a lot of discussion from the readers. Let’s join in and explore further.
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Everybody’s an a**hole?
The comment suggests that everyone involved in this situation is an a**hole. The comment also raises several questions about the previous fights between the husband and wife when she was present to get a better understanding of the situation.
A rare case
The comment praised redditors for “sussing out” the potential racism in the wife’s situation.
A heart-breaking situation
The comment sympathizes with the wife, urging her to leave her husband if he doesn’t think of her as family. It also labels the husband’s family as a**holes.
NTA, wife deserves better
The commenter said the wife is not the a**hole but the husband and his ‘family’ are. They are not considering her family. The commenter told her to run away and that she deserves better.
Exploring ❓❓ options
The commenter is encouraging the OP to explore their options if they feel like they’re not being respected by their husband and his family. They suggest that the OP should evaluate their relationship further if their partner is prioritizing his family wants over their own.
It’s not an a**hole move
The commentator believes that the wife’s decision to show up uninvited at the family dinner was not an a**hole move, even if it might be a bit petty.
Wife shows up uninvited,
The commenter questions the dynamics of the husband’s family and why the husband is going along with it, indicating that something is amiss.
Time to ♀️ divorce? ♀️
The comment suggested that the wife get a divorce from her husband in light of the family dinner situation.
No for this husband
The commenter expresses their disapproval of the husband’s behavior, saying that a ‘really good guy’ wouldn’t treat his wife this way and implying that the husband is not good.
What would you do?
The comment suggests that the wife could outlive her husband’s family and take their money.
Running away from
The commenter encouraged the wife to ‘run, girl. Run.’ in her difficult family situation, showing compassion and support.
Is the wife an a-hole?
The commenter expresses shock and says the wife is Not the A-hole in the situation.
NTA! A family drama
The commenter was dating their current husband for almost 10 years before they got married, but was not invited to the family’s 4th of July party. The husband’s parents fought for the commenter’s right to attend, but the aunt refused, causing a rift in the family. The commenter advises moving on if one doesn’t have a supportive family.
Not The A**-Hole?
The commenter labels the wife as NTA for the situation and expresses sadness for the wife due to her husband’s behavior. Replies range from agreement and sharing of similar situations to disbelief at the husband’s behavior. Everyone was in agreement that the wife was right to stand up for herself.
NTA: Husband needs to stand up for wife!
The comment contends that the husband is being weak by not standing up for his wife against his family. It suggests that the reason the wife is not invited to the family dinner parties may be because the family members gossip about her. It encourages the husband to take action, even suggesting going so far as to divorce in the worst-case scenario.
Sis, “run away”
The comment encourages the woman to run away from her current situation and find someone who actually loves her, since the man she is currently with clearly does not.
NTA: Think twice before having kids
The commenter suggests that the wife should leave her husband before having any kids. d.
Time to separate ✋ ♀️
Commenter recommends a divorce, saying the husband’s behaviour and exclusion of his wife from the family dinners was disrespectful.
Does husband’s good qualities make up for it?
A comment questions if the husband’s good qualities can make up for his lack of consideration for his wife when his family decides to banish her from dinner.
NTA for speaking up
The commenter is on the side of the wife and feels she is not being treated unfairly. They feel that the wife is being judged without any information or context.
A daring solution
The comment warns to RUN, seemingly suggesting a daring solution to the problem.
When your marriage isn’t getting the respect it deserves!
The commenter believes that being married to someone who doesn’t allow you to attend family dinners is a sign that the commenter should not be in the marriage.
Perplexing situation
The comment acknowledges that the wife is NTA but expresses that the situation should be talked through as her husband might be feeling suffocated by her presence. The comment also adds that if the wife was pushed to do something like this, then something needs to be addressed.
Leaving an abusive situation
The comment advises the woman to leave the abusive situation she is in and find someone who respects her.
Wife stands up
The comment expressed sympathy for the wife while encouraging her to leave her husband immediately.
NTA for OP, but ♀️ — take the hint!
The commenter said that the OP is not the a**hole, but they also warned them to take their husband’s not-so-subtle hint as a sign he doesn’t respect them or value them as family. They suggested that OP should have some self-respect, leave their husband and find someone who will treat them right.
NTA: Wife comes first!
The commenter suggested that the wife was not the a**hole. The comment argued that the husband should be defending and prioritizing his wife before his family. If he can’t do that, the wife should think about leaving unless she wants to always come second to his family.
Time for some Malicious Compliance?
The comment proposes a radical solution – divorce – as a way to address the situation where the commenter’s husband has excluded her from a family dinner. They conclude by saying that it is not the commenter’s fault here, i.e., they are Not The A**hole in this situation.
NTA: Get out of there!
The commenter advises the original poster to leave her husband’s family immediately, as they are racist and her husband is not standing up against them. The commenter is branded as ‘NTA’, i.e. not the a**hole.
Banished from ✋ family dinner? No a**hole here. ✋
The comment advises the reader to ‘Empty your joint accounts and change the locks or completely move out’ because their husband, his family, and their significant others are allegedly racist. It also advises the reader that if they have children, they could be subject to racism and behavior as well.
Confronting a difficult situation NTA
The commenter suggests the poster of the comment should NTA and consider leaving her husband, as his behavior is unacceptable and unconventional. The poster is recommended to find the root of her husband’s behavior and to get answers before making a decision.
What would you do?
Commenters suggested that they would threaten to divorce their spouse if they acted in a similar manner.
No more racism! ♀️
The commenter says NTA and advises the OP to divorce their spouse if they don’t stand by them. They suggest being petty and showing up at the family dinner to make their presence known, and make the spouse set their parents straight or get out of their life.
OMG Interracial marriages are tricky
The commenter called the husband an a-hole for allowing his family to treat his wife like that, citing racism and stupidity as reasons. They urged the wife to leave him alone.
Wife gets called a jerk after uninvited dinner
The commenter finds the wife Not The A**hole (NTA) but is confused as to why the wife would willingly attend a dinner where she was already excluded. They suggest the wife take the loss and either stay married or get out of a marriage where her husband is The A**hole (TA).
A husband’s not-so-good deeds
The comment accuses the husband of being an a**hole and recommends that the wife should leave ASAP.
NTA: A really weird situation!
Commenter thinks the husband is not the a-hole, and that the situation is ‘really weird’.
NTA but why marry an AH?
![Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]](https://static.diply.com/e2015965-3976-4f5f-949c-65d2438cb218.png)
The commenter expresses that the wife is Not the A**hole in this situation, but wonders why the wife decided to marry this A**hole in the first place.
♀️ NTA or NAH?
The comment in the article was supportive of the wife and suggested that she deserves better than a husband who doesn’t want her around his family.
NTA: It’s not ok to leave your wife behind!
The comment suggests that the husband is wrong for not inviting his wife to the family dinner. The commenter believes that the husband and his family are the only a-holes in this situation and that a husband should always treat his wife as his top priority.
Family first! NTA ♀️
The comment reaffirms that if the husband treated the wife like family, he would have fought for her to be present at the family dinner and not yell at her when she showed up uninvited. They should both find people who actually treat them like family, and the comment is labeled NTA (Not the A**hole).
NTA: ♀️Leave now!
The comment suggested that the wife should leave her marriage immediately, urging her to not wait any longer before it’s too late.
Finding a loving family
The original comment encourages the poster to look for a family that will love and embrace them. It also expresses sympathy for the poster having to struggle with a lack of respect from their in-laws.*
A relationship gone wrong⁉️
The commenter is convinced the husband is the a-hole in this situation, suggesting his wife must be feeling very wronged.
Husband allows wife’s family ❌ to be excluded
The husband allows his wife to be excluded from a family dinner, and the commenter finds it a violation of the non-aggression principle and opines that the wife deserves a thousand times better. The commenter recommends the wife show up to the restaurant to pass out divorce papers the next time their family does this. No a**hole here!
When family isn’t supportive
The commenter shared a story of their dad consistently standing up and protecting their mum from his family as they did not approve of their marriage. The commenter encourages the poster’s husband to prioritize and respect her as his direct family and to stand by her in their family’s eyes, despite the challenges that come along with marrying into a new family.
She’s fighting for her rights!
The comment writer expresses their anger at the family for excluding the wife and suggests that the wife should fight for her rights by joining the family table. They suggest the wife should be assertive and stand up for herself, even if the husband and his family are a**holes.
She’s got !
An admiring comment praising the commenter for having lady balls and never shaving them!
Racism at the dinner table?
The comment suggests that the wife’s husband’s family may be racist, as she mentions being the only person of color in the family. The comment also questions why she does not refer to them as brothers-in-law, indicating that there may be a lack of closeness between her and her husband’s family. The comment advises her to leave the relationship before bringing children into it, as that would be an unfair situation for them.
Wife stands up to mil telling her she’s not a part of the family
NTA. The wife was refused to be a part of her husband’s family dinner and his mother made it clear that she doesn’t like the wife. The husband was unwilling to stand up to his mother and prioritize his wife, not supporting her. The wife showed up to the dinner uninvited to stand up for herself.
Investigating the scuttlebutt
The commenter stated that the reader should investigate what is going on through the other spouses, as something seems to be happening that the reader does not know about, and the commenter reasserted that the protagonist is not an a**hole.
Standing up for yourself
The commenter found NTA (not the a**hole) that the wife showed up to the family dinner uninvited, and suggested that the husband should stand up for his wife. The commenter also suggested the wife should go to the family dinner with her girlfriends instead as a date.
Wife stands up for herself
The commenter is firmly in the wife’s corner, labeling the husband and his family as the a**holes.
Race causing issues?
The comment raises the possibility that the wife’s race may be the reason why she was banished from the family dinner. The comment questions if the incident happened in the south.
Family dinner drama
The commenter shared their thoughts on the situation, saying that the wife is not the a**hole in the situation and that it reveals that the husband and his family do not consider the wife part of the family. They suggest that the wife should not attend any more functions with her husband.
Divorce lawyer
The comment advises the wife to get a divorce lawyer as her husband and his family do not respect her. It mentions that she should get her fair share and wishes them a ‘cold, black heart’.
He was banished, but still showed up⁉️
The commenter thinks that the wife shouldn’t be in a marriage in which her husband allows his family to treat her like an outsider. They express their gratitude that the couple does not have children and suggest that she leaves the marriage as it’s not normal behavior. NTA.
NTA but it’s worth asking why
The commenter argued that the wife is Not The A-hole (NTA) in this instance, and suggested that she consider marriage counseling or confront her husband to determine if racial issues are the cause of the family’s banishment.
Rooting for someone
Commenter supports and encourages the wife to leave her marriage for a better life, with everyone rooting for her success.
NTA: “Do what’s best for you!”
The commenter says it’s not the a**hole (NTA) for the wife to show up uninvited to the family dinner. They suggest the wife take a stand and not accept the disrespect her husband is showing her.
Wife ed by husband’s family
The commenter was not the a**hole (NTA) and concluded that the husband’s family was being racist by not allowing the wife to attend the family dinner. They pointed out that if the husband was a real man, he should have stood up for his wife and spoken out against his family’s decisions. The comment suggested that the wife must get out of the relationship.
NTA Hope your steak was good!
The comment stands in support of the wife and suggests that she enjoyed the steak she had for dinner.
Husband won’t stick up for wife
The comment suggested that the wife, who was not invited to a family dinner, was not the a**hole. The writer asked why the husband was going to the dinner if his wife was not invited, implying that he should have made a stand.
No a-hole here!
The comment emphasized that the husband should not attend a ‘family’ event where his wife is not welcome and build a toxic situation. The comment encouraged the original poster to go where they are celebrated and respected and that they deserve much better.
Lack of ❤️ for the wife?
The comment asks why the wife is still with her husband if his family does not have her back.
Courage to confront
The comment encourages the OP to confront her husband and his family about why she has been excluded from their family dinners. It calls for caution but also acknowledges the possible reasons for the exclusion that might be uncomfortable for her husband to face.
Discovering if the family is ‘worthy’
The comment advises the person about the potential future implications of not being accepted by their in-laws. They suggest evaluating if the connection is necessary in their life and also question what their children’s lives could be like if their in-laws don’t accept them. The commenter states that kids can sense when a parent is not respected and this could cause major conflict in their life.
OP faces a toxic ultimatum
NTA (not the a**hole) says that OP’s husband and his family are displaying racist behavior and should be avoided. OP should listen to her husband and leave for her safety and emotional/mental health.
NTA
The comment is in agreement with the sentiment of the article headline and proposes some questions about the situation. It suggests the commenter doesn’t think the wife is in the wrong.
Get a divorce!
Commenter thinks the husband doesn’t deserve the wife and advises her to get a divorce.
Divorce as* ungrateful husband
The commenter suggests the wife should divorce her ungrateful husband who didn’t invite her to three family dinners. They advise her to look for a new family and be thankful that she isn’t a parent in such a toxic environment.
Asking why and getting no response
The comment asked why the wife was not allowed to attend the family dinner and suggested that an explanation should have been provided if her presence was not welcomed.
NTA She stood up for herself!
The comment argues that the commenter is Not the A*hole in the situation and that it’s understandable for the poster to feel hurt, and even suggests that race could have something to do with it. The comment suggests the poster should draw a line in the sand and that their partner should be standing up for them in situations like this, regardless of race.
Is OP’s husband racist
The comment criticizes OP’s relationship with a husband who seems to accept his family’s racism without defending OP. OP is warned to be wary of the situation.
A bold move ✋
The commenter suggests that, as the wife, the person in question is an NTA (not the a**hole) for showing up uninvited to her husband’s family dinner. They argue that she is part of the family.
Divorce as an option?
Commenter suggested that the wife get a divorce.
Wife banned from family⛔️
The commenter suggested that the wife was not the a-hole and should consider getting a divorce.
Is race the answer?
The comment suggests that the wife’s mixed race might be behind her husband’s family banishing her from their dinner.
Husband’s family banishes wife
The commenter thinks the husband is an a-hole and his family are a-holes too. The commenter questions why the wife is married to such a guy.
Wife is by family but shows up anyway ♀️
The comment author encourages the wife to leave her husband’s family and relationship, as nothing good will result from it. The comment author goes on to say that the wife is not the a**hole in the situation.
NTA The SO was excluded
The commenter is finding it unacceptable that the wife’s significant other was excluded from the family dinner. They state that it is ‘Not okay’ to exclude them.
NTA Ditch the husband!
This commenter believes that the husband is the only a**hole in this story and that the wife was in the right. They suggest that the wife should get rid of the husband and his family, who they believe are not in the right either.
Not the a**hole ♀️
The commenter said they are not the a**hole in this situation, and suggested that either their husband and his family should move along or the commenter should find their own solution.
Wife NTA for checking it out!
The comment expresses that the wife is Not The Asshole (NTA) for going to the restaurant to check out the situation, implying that her husband is disrespecting her by not allowing her to attend the family dinner. The person then calls her an a**hole (YTA) for putting up with a person who blatantly disrespects her.
Family ♂️ drama!
The commenter believes the wife is NTA (not the a**hole) for showing up uninvited to her husband’s family dinner since she is family too. They think everyone else sucks for not accepting her presence.
NTA ♀️
The commenter urges the woman to break away from her husband due to racial trauma and other patterns of similar events. They recommend taking a few days off work, reading ‘Scenes of Subjection’ by Saidiya Hartman, and reflecting on past events to make the best decision for herself.
Establishing your own family dinners
The commenter suggests the original poster should start their own family dinners and not invite the husband for once to see his reaction. They believe it’s time for the original poster to move on if they’re still unsure about their situation.
NTA! Wife stands up for herself!
The commenter declared that the husband’s behavior is not acceptable and encouraged the wife to take a stand. They also jokingly mentioned wanting a night alone every once in a while.
NTA! Husband’s family
The commenter declared that the husband’s family were all a**holes and expressed their shock at their behavior.
Serving divorce papers?!
The commenter expresses shock at the idea of the wife serving divorce papers to the husband’s son at the dinner and calls the situation disgusting.
