For years, couples have been told various things about how often they “should be getting intimate” in order to be considered a “happy couple.”
However, one expert has decided it’s time to de-bunk the belief that there’s a set number of times a week that a couple has to get it on to be viewed as acceptable. Instead, she’s proposing that no couple is the same and that the best thing is for a couple to decide on their own bedroom business.
There’s so much pressure for couples to be perfect
From social media to that one couple that many of us know who swears that they never fight, there can be a lot of unrealistic expectations placed on couples. With so many different people weighing in on how a couple should behave, it can be harder for the people in the actual partnership to make their own rules.
Some say happy couples should be intimate three times a week
For whatever reason, there’s a myth circulating that a happy couple should be intimate about three times a week. We’re not sure where this number came from, but we do know that there is no one-size-fits-all regarding the physical connection a couple has.
Expectations like this can cause friction in otherwise healthy relationships.
One biomedical scientist on TikTok dispels this myth
Biomedical scientist and TikTok content creator Kellie is not impressed by the myth that happy couples should be “doing the deed” around three times a week. She sets the record straight.
“The reality is that couples on average actually do the deed less than once a week,” she said in a TikTok video.
She adds that age impacts how often a lot of couples get it on
“[For] anybody over the age of 30 averages out at 66 times a year, anybody under the age of 30 averages around 105 times a year,” Kellie added.
She wants people to understand that often expectations are exaggerated, creating unrealistic standards for people.
Kellie concludes that couples do the deed less than three times a week
“So this is considerably lower than the myth of three times a week… Let this be a reminder, TV lies and your relationship is fine, girl,” Kellie says near the end of her video.
The bottom line for her is to stop taking too many notes from TV and fictional couples and lean into what feels right for you and your boo.
Kellie makes content to help women feel confident
For Kellie, having a TikTok page is about “debunking all things women’s health” and helping women feel more comfortable and confident in their bodies. With so much false information floating around, she enjoys speaking some truth about the female body.
Many people in the comments said that being intimate fluctuates for them
One woman commented, “For us it comes and goes sometime it’s 9-13 times a week sometimes in can go a month. it’s all depends on workload, mental health, the weather etc.”
Others agreed that certain factors can either make things hot and heavy with their partner for a while or make them simmer down. After all, what’s going on in our lives can impact our libido and ability to relax.
It’s extra tricky for some parents of little ones
Many of the moms in the comments said they wish they were more intimate with their partners, but parent duty comes first.
“Bed sharing and breastfeeding a 23 month old. You can tell what’s the last on my to do list…,” one woman wrote.
Some people can’t even remember the last time they did the deed
For some couples, being intimate isn’t the most important thing. As so much TV and social media emphasize physical intimacy, some find that there are other factors that keep them happily fixated on each other.
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“Can’t remember the last time I did…,” one person wrote.
Another person added, “Two years ago.”