People love to give others advice. However, not all advice that we get, be it from friends or family members, is necessarily good advice.
So, from people who ill-advisedly “disassembled” a mattress in a small room to people who managed to dye themselves violet, here are 17+ people who got bad advice!
“Couldn’t move my old mattress downstairs to take it the tip. My dad suggested taking it apart. I asked if this is what he meant. He said he was joking and now I have a room full of springs.”
Christ, talk about needing a spring clean. And yes, I just made that joke, if it can even be called a joke, you’re welcome.
“They thought it said ‘You will forever be in my heart.’ As an Irish man, I can confirm it actually says ‘Do I have permission to go to the bathroom.'”
Well, at least they can just show this to teachers if they ever need to go to the toilet in class. Not that I can imagine that this person is still in school, but whatever.
“Bad advice from the local liquor store.”
This is pretty much just begging for people to blow their arms off. Although, one other person did point out, “a valid distinction between Miller Lite and beer, though.”
“A stump where a tree symbolizing peace once stood in Glasgow, Scotland.”
“Pfft, what is the worst that could happen if we cut it down?”
“War?”
“Just…shut up and cut it down!”
“They recommended you have three glasses of wine and it assembles itself. Working on the first glass now.”
Pfft, I tried this, but IKEA don’t even provide you with the wine, you have to provide that yourself and they get very angry if you take it back to the store and ask them for the wine!
“My wife said measure the door, I told her all doors are the same size…”
Ah, yet another example as to why you should always measure twice and cut once.
“Good thing I have a healthier alternative!”
Christ, that is cheap for cigarettes, where on Earth is this? Not that I’m saying you should smoke but…hot damn, that’s cheap.
“Remember — Don’t lift with your back, lift with your…”
Yeah, I don’t think that it is a good idea to advocate for people to life like these stick guys for…well, a plethora of reasons!
“Great advice!”
“Sir, are you high?”
“Yeah, officer, of course.”
“Can you tell me why?”
*Gestures broadly towards sign…
“Oh, well, you don’t need to tell me twice!”
“Asshat ignored the warning signs.”
Wait, so you’re telling me that a BMW driver didn’t read the signs and just acted as though they own the road? Please wait for a moment while I gather my jaw from off the floor!
“I’m too smart to have to read the frozen pizza instructions, said a complete idiot.”
But now they have made a delightful pizza mushroom cloud. To paraphrase J. Robert Oppenheimer, “The pizza atomic bomb made the prospect of future flat pizza unendurable. It has led us up those last few steps to the mountain pass; and beyond there is a different type of pizza.”
“My mother just informed me Amazon delivered my harmonica.”
I wonder what key it is in? Whatever it is, it’ll take a bloody long time to get a note out of it.
“My 7-year-old informed me that the new ice cream I bought tastes horrible.”
I did not even know that they made ice-cream for dogs? Well, now I really want to know that it tastes like!
“It’s my boss’s birthday. I got her a generic mug. Person at the store ASSURED me it had no writing on it since it was in a box. My boss opened it up and it said this.”
On the off-chance that you and your boss are indeed “Soul sisters” then it could still work? Apparently their boss found it very funny which is a relief!
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“Oddly informative sign at hospital.”
That sign wasn’t a piece of literal advice as the person who left this mark clearly thought!
“‘2021 Dad of the Year’ ladies and gentlemen. I told her to shower, instead of rinse her hair out, right after dying it.”
Thankfully, she was saved from this mishap, as this person went on to say, “And for anyone wondering, fortunately, a mechanics pumice soap bar and 70% isopropyl alcohol in moderation (for the ears and face) has helped to correct my mistake. She no longer looks like the purple minion.”
“If your buddy says he can definitely do a fade, don’t listen. Source: me.”
I have never known a home-haircut to end in anything other than disaster, especially if alcohol is involved!
“Waited in line for this rollercoaster for two hours, when I finally got to the front they said I was too tall.”
Pfft, what is the worst that could happen, they get decapitated? Worrying about decapitation is for nerds!
“In my city after a recent snow.”
Look, take it from me, that is far too much for a room made of snow. I spent a few years living in a snow hut and it was the worst time of my life after the initial appeal wore off.
