It’s only natural for moms to want their kids to have good childhoods. For one mom, however, what defines a “good” childhood is up for debate – and internet users are pretty concerned about how she views the world.
NotAlexa made a long post about her childhood
Posting on mumsnet, NotAlexa began by noting that she didn’t understand why kids cried for sweets, since she herself was not allowed to try any form of candy until she was 7. Before that, her only “sweet” treats were carrots and apples. Not too egregious, I guess, but I do think it’s sad she went 7 years without even tasting candy.
It got weirder, though
“When I was 6, I actively resorted not making friends with any kid that cried. Errr, so embarrassing being seen with a loud trouble maker.[…] When I was 7, I would l go to school alone, crossing 2 unregulated roads with no traffic lights. because apparently i made a huge fuss when my mum was dropping me off, and told her off for not trusting me.”
Not making friends with kids that expressed themselves emotionally? That’s…interesting. I also crossed roads to get to school on foot, so I’m not gonna say there’s anything special about that one.
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It sounds like she did some scary things alone
“When I was 10, in summer me and my friend (then 12) would get a bus across the city to get on a ferry to then go up and down the hill to reach UNESCO beach (Curonian Spit if interesting to anyone). All alone. No supervision. We would prepare ourselves sandwiches and all sort of junk food and fruit and spend entire day sunbathing and swimming in the sea,” she said.
I don’t care what generation you’re in, I personally would not let my innocent 10-year-old cross a city by public bus and take a ferry on her own. That is genuinely shocking to me.
She’s confused why she doesn’t see more kids out on their own these days
“Nowadays, I barely ever see kids roaming the streets. I live in a quiet town in SW England, with low crime rate and it baffles me as to why kids are always always being supervised. They are only playing in playgrounds, being told off for making mess, being obliged to when they are asking for sugar and having tantrums!”
She asked if anyone else feels the way she does
Because she roamed around on her own for most of her childhood, she believes all kids should. “I am 30 years old, pregnant with my first child, and am very worried about this ‘coddling’ society. Is it just a phase in the society do you think? Or are we indeed keeping children on leashes so tight that they do not learn independent thinking and risk assessment?”
Commenters chimed in
Her post contained a poll asking if she was being unreasonable, with a resounding percentage (82, in fact) voting her unreasonable for her takes. Many said that times change, with more adding that her childhood was a little unconventional.
One person had some interesting insight
“I think you had quite a neglected childhood. Sorry. But no parent who loves and cares for their child lets them do all of that so young.
THIS is what people mean when they say neglected/abused people end up repeating their parents’ mistakes. You poor girl – you have no idea what you even missed by not having parents who cared enough,” Ozanj replied.
Others said her childhood was pretty standard
“Believe me, over coddling your kid will be the least of your worries when the reality of having a baby arrives. You also sound excessively judgemental of others, and excessively impressed with your younger self when in reality we were literally all like you at your age (different times, different parenting),” Workoutinthepark said.
Some people agreed with her, though
Commonsense22 said: “This week I went to a school concert with over 60 children playing / singing. Two children were refusing to join the group and shrivelled up next to their parents with stage fright. I couldn’t help thinking, why do we indulge 8 year olds to this extent? Standing at the back of a group of 60 kids performing to about 50 parents in a school gym isn’t something we should allow kids to opt out of.”
I gotta say, this is not the hot take this person thinks it is. Some kids are different than others, and forcing them to do things that scare them doesn’t build character – it just creates resentment.
What do you think?
I had a balanced childhood of adult supervision and independence to run and play, and I in no way think kids are too coddled today. I think an involved parent is a caring parent. There will always be those that go overboard, but that’s true of every situation! What’s your take on this one?
