One of the main parts of growing up is learning about the world and how to function in it as adults when the time comes…well, that and seeing how many energy drinks you can drink before you start to feel sick.
However, once you do become an adult, it becomes quickly apparent that a lot of the lessons we learned as children do not translate to adult life, and that even when we learn new things they are quickly forgotten under the stress of remembering all of the other stuff that we have to do! So, if you’re like me and need to be reminded of something one million times before it sinks in, then here are 14+ tweets for those of us who never learn!
“Have you learned nothing?!”
If that adorable little robot with the binocular eyes didn’t get through to people, then quite frankly I do not know what will!
Mitochondria Or Taxes?
Who wants to learn about taxes when you could learn about mitochondria? I mean, I wouldn’t but I sure as hell wish I did!
Airline Savings
Perhaps if they started taking a packed lunch in to the office instead of buying an expensive sandwich from the deli down the street they wouldn’t be in this mess!
Every Damn Time
I feel personally attacked by this tweet. However, I’m definitely going to do it again the next time it happens!
They’re So Cute… I Guess?
I mean, I think most babies look like E.T. but I wouldn’t dream of telling any of their parents. Especially not after last time, still don’t speak to that side of the family.
Grammar 101
This guy took the hardest L I’ve seen for a long time here. (Is that something the youth are saying, “Take the L”? I’m cool, honest!)
The Therapist Has Become The Therapized!
I’m assuming that after initially saying “No,” the therapist paused, cracked open a bottle of champagne and congratulated this person for winning therapy. Take note, people, talk to your partners like adults!
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Heartbroken
See, the answer to your problems in life is never to just travel! I’m sick of people with orangey-brown scarves and thin goatees telling me that the cure to all of my woes is to go backpacking. No, Gareth, the answer to my problems is to sort out my problems, not spend money that I don’t have being stressed in another country!
Millennial Gravestones
Whereas in the past people would have funny epitaphs to show that they were a witty person, millennials will do it to try and get the most posthumous upvotes.
*Intense Breathing*
I can understand this. They obviously have to learn somehow, but every time a child is holding an animal I am constantly waiting for them to drop it.
Just Shut Up!
I wish that I had realized as a child that my teacher telling me to shut up was actually preparation for this important life lesson. Most of the mistakes I have made in my life have come from talking when I shouldn’t be after all.
*Animal Farm*, A Children’s Classic!
Based upon this story I can safely assume that he is indeed still an idiot. All first dates are equally awkward but some are more equally awkward than others.
Drink Like An Adult
Tequila shots also come with a lime and or lemon which is full of vitamin C! So make the right choice!
Sex Houses?
For any of those concerned, Andy has since been banned from his local bird sanctuary and may face charges.
It Never Changes
Sure, the reasons may change, and bedtime might be a nightmare because you just lie there and think about the troubles of the world, but it will always be a “f***king crisis,” kid.
Easy Money!
Now that I think about it, I raised far more money for the school than that T-shirt was worth! I demand my money back, and I don’t care what amazingly useful thing they bought with it!
Don’t Tell White Lies!
You know how it goes, one moment you’re scrabbling for an excuse to get out of work, and before you know it you have a fictional family in Wisconsin and a burgeoning poetry career.
They Never Learn
If they gave them cooler names, we would look back on these periods of financial instability much more fondly!
Tic-Tac-Toe
They need to learn to be better at tic-tac-toe from a young age! Life won’t go easy on you at tic-tac-toe after all…whatever that means!
15 Mins Vs. 6 Months
Six months would be a personal record for me! I’ve still got emails that need replying to from 2012.
