I don’t think anyone will tell you that being attractive doesn’t have its benefits. Conversely, being unattractive can’t be a walk in the park, either.
Let’s flip this whole thing on its head, though. What are the benefits to being unattractive? A thoughtful r/AskReddit thread sought to answer this question.
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Being left alone.
“An example is today I was at a corporate work reception with a friend of mine. He is conventionally attractive and I am, well, me… We went to the event together and he was getting approached by alot [ sic ] of people both men and women from different departments while I was just getting side lined.
“In truth, I am a natural loner since I was a young child so I prefer it that way. I would not like being the centre of attention.”
When you get old, you don’t have good looks to lose.
“This is the most important example. Beauty is fleeting, and I see a mental health crisis with so many people unable to cope with aging. What’s worse is how it is even exploited.”
People credit your skills rather than your looks.
“Female musician here. As a very visibly nerdy bass player in my first real band, I very rarely (not never, sadly!) drew any doubts about being able to play or got any catcalls or requests to remove clothing. Our very classically attractive frontwoman with a mandolin?…poor girl.”
You don’t stand out.
“Honestly, not remembering people and getting forgotten. I used to obsess over this when I was younger but now I just forgot about it honestly. I have met both very atractive people and very unatractive people and to be honest I go by old saying from my region (The Balkans): We are all bloody under the skin.”
– u/Edo_M
People don’t seek you out for your looks.
“I am in high school and I had my teenage glow up last year. People – who would bully me for my looks – are trying to be friends with me. Like they just forgot the [expletive] hell they put me through literally last year.”
It helps you know who’s real.
“Knowing which men are bad people. I have really attractive friends who men will put on a whole show and brand-new angelic personality for, but I see right away how they treat women they don’t want to bang.
“You’re not a good person if you’re only good to people you want something from. And sooner or later the truth comes out for everyone to see.”
Being unbothered.
“If I’m in a baggy hoodie with the hood up and sweat pants, no one bothers me at a bus stop. If I have a dress on, 7 times out of 10 people either get too close or start chatting.
“My solution is just pretending I don’t speak English.”
Avoiding small talk.
“Being able to go a day without small talk.
“I usually am cleaned up nice and what not. Like to look that way, but hate talking to people.
“Shaved head and a big beard gives the two years of parole look. Works wonders for being left alone.”
You’re not the center of attention.
“People get insecure and feel like everyone is staring at you all the time judging you; most of the time no one is. Everyone is so in their own heads feeling the same way you’re a none [ sic ] issue… unless you’re actually attractive, then everyone really is staring at you judging if your mannerisms match your appearance and more.”
You can better yourself in other ways.
“Bettering yourself at the gym. I’m not attractive but in previous years I made a real effort to get in great shape and I did (I’ve since let myself go, hopefully I’ll rectify that but I did enjoy my time having a good physique.)”
– u/kitjen
The world is less menacing, especially for women.
“As a woman who has aged out of the attractive category, just going through the world day to day has become so much easier and without the constant haze of menace it always did before from leers, comments, honks, grabbing, etc.”
People aren’t focused on your looks.
“Being a chick in a male-dominated field. Dudes see some cute little chick and assume the absolute worst (weak, afraid to get dirty, we know how she got the job etc.) Whereas my decidedly unfeminine and unattractive self gets assumed to be basically the opposite.”
Avoiding unwanted attention.
“Being able to exist in public without being constantly harassed. I’ve lived the spectrum of being a stereotypically hot young woman to gaining weight and becoming more tomboyish, and it’s really nice to just be left alone.”
Being alone isn’t a bad thing.
“Being alone is [expletive] great if you can mentally focus away the depression.
“[Expletive] cash, gold, Bitcoin, etc. Time is the only currency that ultimately matters. And it’s ALL yours to spend on what you want.
“And in a world that has more stuff to do than time you’ll have to do it, not being in a relationship is a fair trade.”
Invisibility is power.
“Literally everything. I’m a fat woman, so I’m quite invisible. I can go to the store without worrying that I’m going to be hit on or anything like that. I haven’t dated in 17 years, so I don’t have to worry about significant others or dating.”
Dating is more real.
“Dating. You know that they like you for you, not just your looks. Also, you’re more likely to be interesting, as you were spending more time on hobbies, learning, etc. because you weren’t a part of the super popular crowd.
“You still had friends, but there were few of them, instead of a huge number of people, who would constantly occupy your life.”
Sometimes it’s easier to talk to people.
“Most girls enjoy talking to a guy that’s unattractive (not ugly – just not attractive) as long as he’s not a neckbeard creeper or something like that.
“If the guy is attractive, some girls are a bit wary that the guy is Don Juan-ing them.”
Your personality extends beyond your looks.
“I had to develop a personality. j/k
“I guess conversing seriously with people is easier because I know for a fact no dude is going to hit on me, so at least I know they actually give a [expletive] about what I’m saying.”
A sense of peace.
“It’s really peaceful when you are unattractive. I often find myself doing things I like and I find myself happier and no ones there to impede. I do still want to experience love though. So maybe I’ll find someone sone day if anyone’s willing to give me a chance.”
Your friends are real.
“Not having fake friends.” – u/Tracer1508
“My sister-in-law, who’s very pretty and surrounds herself with beautiful people, is constantly having endless drama with her friends who are all HORRIBLE people and treat each other terribly.”
