Let me tell you about my morning.
Yesterday, I spent time at the hospital because I fractured and sprained my foot while wrestling (the John Cena kind, not the university kind). Today, I worked from home — a prisoner to my own stupidity with my foot in an Aircast.
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I decided to start my day with some breakfast, so I threw bacon in the oven, but then became distracted by work. Next thing you know, the smoke alarm is going off. I grab my crutches and hobble over to wave a towel at the alarm, and the beeping ceases. Then, I hobble back to the stove to take the burnt bacon out of the oven so that the alarm doesn’t go off again. It does.
While doing this, I knock a rogue pan into the sink, smashing a bunch of glasses that had accumulated. So there I am with a foot in a cast, a beeping smoke alarm, broken dishes, and no bacon.
And now you know what inspired me to write this article. Here are some people whose days also went from bad to worse.
1. Too bad: Your shirt is stank and needs a quick fresher-upper.
So sad: You think you have a genius idea, but alas — you don’t. As far as I know, they do have warnings on the sides of irons. They say “WATER ONLY.”
2. Too bad: You are seriously lacking in the eyelashes department.
So sad: Accessing your eyeballs requires you to remove the one thing you need to see what the heck you’re doing. More like flylashes, amirite?
3. Too bad: Mother nature is an icy mistress who has wreaked havoc on your windshield.
So sad: You are a bit too gullible when it comes to Facebook suggestions, and now you’re the one who has wrecked havoc on your windshield.
4. Too bad: Summer is quickly approaching and you’re not overly hyped on your current beach physique.
So sad: Learning that the quickest way to lose weight is by restricting your calories is like being told that you’re not allowed to enjoy life anymore.
5. Too bad: You have to go to the dentist.
So sad: You end up performing an indecent act on your dentist’s finger because the buzzing of drills has caused you to mishear the instructions.
6. Too bad: You forgot a friend’s birthday and need to be reminded by text.
So sad: You are bested by technology and end up completely destroying your friendship.
7. Too bad: You accidentally go into the wrong bathroom.
So sad: You get caught red-handed while taking a selfie and have everlasting proof of your Titanic mistake.
8. Too bad: You have a really important exam coming up.
So sad: Despite your best efforts and intentions, you completely screw up the dates and potentially your entire future because you can’t manage a calendar.
9. Too bad: You’re still hopelessly in love with your ex.
So sad: Not only has your ex deleted your phone number, but they don’t even recognize it at a glance.
10. Too bad: School is starting up again.
So sad: You wanted to make a good first impression, but instead, you’ll forever be known as the dude with the janky haircut.
11. Too bad: Your canned food betrays you by giving up on itself mid-task.
So sad: Your brilliant backup plan also fails you, and you’re forced to admit defeat to a 99 cent can of tomatoes.
12. Too bad: Your lunch gets stuck in the vending machine.
So sad: Your attempt to free your sandwich with the drink you were going to buy anyway also gets stuck.
13. Too bad: Your beloved pet passes away and you have to bury him.
So sad: It’s not even your cat, and someone will forever wonder what happened to their furry friend. I guess it’s good your cat isn’t dead?
14. Too bad: You’re starving but there’s nothing to grab from the fridge, so you’re forced to cook.
So sad: You actually suck at cooking and end up creating some kinda swamp monster instead.
15. Too bad: You’re out on a date with someone who doesn’t seem that into you.
So sad: They kiss you out of pity, and are so bored by it that they occupy themselves with texting.
16. Too bad: You drop your snacks all over the pavement.
So sad: Someone is there to witness this devastating moment and capture the entire thing on film. You could say he’s crushed .
