I hate to admit when I need a little hand-holding, but I swear I wasn’t born with the “A-ha!” gene that all my friends have. You know, that one that allows you to immediately understand what’s going on, so you don’t have to sit there like an idiot, nodding in agreement when you’re actually completely oblivious? I do that more than any person should have to and quite frankly, my self-esteem reflects that.
It’s not my fault that my genetics hate me, right? Today, I’m taking a stand and using this opportunity to share some pictures that I need explained to me. Thanks in advance!
1. What’s going on with this guy’s hand?
Is this what happens after prolonged exposure to Nintendo Wii controllers? Did he win too many games of bowling against the wrong person and they broke his fingers in retaliation? Is it an alien?
2. Who managed to synchronize these cats?
If you’ve ever had a cat, you know that the option to train them is pretty much off the table. The only thing they care less about than your personal space is what you want them to do.
3. What is this melty mess?
Someone tell me quick, because it looks a lot like the cream cheese frosting from Cinnabon, and once I start eating something, it’s really difficult to get me to stop.
4. What is wrong with this person’s toes?
I don’t mean to body shame, but those toes are looking about three times as long as they should, and I’m pretty sure your feet aren’t supposed to have a thumb. On the plus side, all of her gloves double as footwear, but at what cost?
5. Who in their right mind would eat these?
And over chocolate-covered strawberries, no less. I saw an Instagram post the other day about chili-covered mango slices, and I thought that person was trolling their followers. I guess I was wrong.
6. What planet was this woman beamed down from?
She’s certainly not from around here, and if you’re not totally convinced, then take a peek at the fully expanded version of the pictures by checking out the source below.
7. Why does this guy hate airline food so much?
It’s one thing to pack a bag of chips, it’s another to try and wedge your way into the kitchen to make a five-course meal. Who knows, maybe I’m reading too much into it and he’s just chicken his bags.
Get it? Like checkin’? I’ll see myself out.
8. Why would she pick the left nipple?
Everybody knows that studies have shown right nipples are less prone to injury, they have a longer shelf life, and are all around more nippley.
9. Why would she ruin a perfectly good cracker like this?
Now its got a giant, inedible couch attached to it and it probably won’t fit in her mouth. We’ll see who’s laughing when the snack monster attacks and she’s gnawing through microfiber.
10. Just…why?
Everything about this image is hysterical and none of it makes any sense. I have a horrible sense of humor and I’m not sure I even understand why it’s funny. God help me.
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11. Where is this dude constantly running off to?
And why are you trying to stop him? Sure, they’re holding hands, but how do we know she’s not holding him captive in some weird Walmart-style Hunger Games?
12. WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS!?
Seriously, if you EVER do this to a cat, just don’t ever talk to me again. How DARE you?!
13. Who does Matthew McConaughey think he is?
Okay, he probably thinks he’s Matthew McConaughey, which is completely reasonable because that’s who I think he is too, but seriously. What’s with all of this?
14. Why would you go through the trouble of doing this?
I mean, you’ve already sent the product in the mail, and I’m pretty sure that these weren’t drawn on in the original photo on the website. Seems like extra work just to be a jerk.
15. What did these watermelons ever do to anyone?
This looks like the aftermath of a back alley gang brawl. Hopefully whoever did this is held responsible for this massacre and these melons get their justice. This place seems seedy.
16. How bullied was this girl in public school?
She must’ve been called four eyes so many times. The good news is that she’s decided to own it, and she’s still looking more fly than half my crew.
