You would think that nearly a century would be long enough for us to have figured out movie theatre etiquette , but nope. One trip to see a current flick and it’s obvious that we’ve learned nothing.
I’m fine with movies becoming a more casual , family experience, but there’s a line. And way too many people cross it.
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Those concession prices, though…
I try to give theaters the benefit of the doubt. They really don’t get much money from movie tickets once the studios take their cut, but there’s a limit to our willingness to pay more for our snacks than for our tickets.
Popcorn is not a balanced meal.
Confession time: I don’t like popcorn.
But at one point I loved it, but I literally ate it so often that I killed my taste for it. Not for a short period of time, either. That was 20 years ago!
Sometimes things happen all at once.
If it freaks you out this much, make that bathroom trip. You can miss five minutes of Gaga.
But if you didn’t have your phone on during the movie, then you wouldn’t have to make such a choice. The Ariana song would be a nice surprise afterwards.
If you do this, you deserve nothing.
If it’s not inconveniencing you enough to miss part of the movie, than you weren’t inconvenienced enough to deserve your money back. Something wrong with the presentation itself? Go ask someone to fix it.
If it’s another patron, then you’re probably just going to have to deal with it.
That careful balance of snacks can be the ultimate challenge.
If all those snacks are for friends, then maybe someone should have offered to help you carry them.
If they are all for you, good job!
The girlfriend gets it.
My partner would probably do this sort of thing as a joke, playing dumb for the lolz. I would still tell him to stop and shut up.
This is why I stop at the dollar store before the movie.
If I can upgrade from a 16oz drink to 20oz for a quarter, then why is the 16oz so expensive in the first place? Your math doesn’t make sense!
Just don’t overthink it.
It’s probably just a spill from an oversized, overpriced fountain drink. If you can swap seats, find a dry one. If you’re in assigned seating, then I’ve got nothing for you.
This dog looks far cuter doing it than I do.
When my local theater switched to reserved recliner seating, my mind was mostly blown by the fact that I could recline and there was still room for people to get by. Luxury!
I may be this person…
But I’m too shy to actually ask everyone. Instead, I just silently judge them for not understanding some underlying thematic resonance that film could never recreate properly.
No one needs a drink this big at the movies.
Yes, you’re eating salty snacks, but soda isn’t really great for hydration. It’s beverages like this that keep websites like RunPee in business.
Smooth, dude. Smooth.
Assuming she’s into you too, you just managed to be a gentleman and initiate some casual almost-handholding.
Of course, even if she wasn’t into it, sometimes it’s worth it for access to the armrest.
I almost understand this. Almost.
You can’t know how much salt is on the popcorn, so adding it yourself adds a sense of control. I just don’t think the salt is the problem when you’re talking about the healthiness of movie theatre popcorn.
Ninja level 100!
I get it. Popcorn is expensive. I sneak candy in, too. As long as you’re not bringing in something particularly noisy or stinky, have at it! Corn on the cob is a whole new level, though.
What, you’re going to just walk out normally?
No, the correct way to exit a movie theatre is to awkwardly move down the aisles and then try to force yourself into the exit shuffle without being a dick.
Barf.
There is so much wrong with this. Who brings food into the bathroom? Clearly, it happens enough to merit this sign. And that hot air blowing down onto your popcorn is full of bacteria. Ewwwww!
Usually, random questions during a movie would bug me.
But this probably would have been pretty funny to witness.
At least he was given the correct answer. The movie takes place in [1823]( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Revenant_(2015_film) .
No bare feet at the theater, people!
The only public place where bare feet are acceptable is the beach or pool. Definitely not at the movies, let alone up on the seat of the person in front of you. Ew!
Really, putting your feet up like that is rude anyway, but this takes it to a whole new level of gross.
This. This is why it’s gross.
Let’s set aside stinky feet or just the idea of bare foot sweat getting all over the head rest. Those toes should never ever be coming in contact with a stranger.
At the first touch, I’d have asked her to put her feet down. At the second, I would have screamed.
Why yes, I enjoy watching someone else’s feet for two hours.
My personal rule for putting (non-bare) feet up in a theater setting is that if there is a person seating in front of me, or next to that seat, my feet don’t go up. Ditto if there is someone behind me who might have to look at them the whole time.
The struggle is real.
Personally, I choose to let them stare at my butt. It’s no less awkward, but at least we don’t have to look each other in the eye while I go by.
Well, it’s not wrong…
That’s what free refills are for. You eat most of your popcorn before and during the previews, and then while the theater logos and “please turn off your phone” reminders play, you go get that refill.
Don’t you mess with the doggos!
Who knows what weird internal logic causes us to laugh or just not care about human deaths in movies and yet care so much about random animals. But it’s real and I’m still scarred by Old Yeller .
So basically, going to the movies can really suck.
But it can also be a ton of fun!
So lets all agree to just stop being selfish and act like grownups, and if you want to watch a movie barefoot, do it at home. ‘Kay?
