I know they say that the grass is always greener on the other side, but it’s really hard not to feel like somebody’s grass is actually greener when we seem them frolicking with their dog on it. They’ve even got the sprinkler running, and you swear you saw a little rainbow come out of it.
Anyway, the point is that somebody will always find a way to get the little green monster inside of us going, and whether they mean to or not (and they often do), their big wins in life are making us salivate.
So, whatever you’re gonna do with all of these goals on display, let’s do it!
1. Well, OK. Let’s not be dramatic here. Dude is risking his elbow, at the absolute worst.
But yeah, I’m not gonna pretend that I didn’t wish I had someone who was worth doing crazy parkour photography for.
Or, you know, that I had actual photo parkour abilities…
2. It only takes one example of a ridiculously amazing vending machine selection to get really disappointed in the ones we actually use.
“How come you don’t have phone chargers, mouthwash, and Hot Wheels? And I bet nothing ever gets stuck in that vending machine.”
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3. I don’t know about y’all, but I think I’m good with bae being indecisive about dinner if this is what it means when she’s not.
I’d love to keep taking trips to Italy, too, but unless I’m blessed enough to get three wishes, it ain’t happening.
4. Hmm, where does that leave us if we both desperately want these and can easily see how owning them would go wrong?
Even if we get used to standing around on one foot all the time, those cords aren’t that sturdy at the best of times.
5. Some people raise the bar so much that they make us update our relationship goals more than Windows 10 updates everything.
I’ve had entire groups of friends that didn’t take care of me as well as this dude is, and they were seriously good friends!
6. Being able to just summon a team of horses whenever you want is envious on its own, but there’s a lot more than that going on here.
Because unless there’s a follow-up picture of him falling off these steeds, he’s got a lot that I don’t.
7. Yeah, a dog this adorable is one thing, but where can I get one who knows how to read and write?
Don’t give me those weird looks, people. Look at the sign and look at its face and tell me the dog didn’t write this.
8. I don’t normally go in for destination weddings, but I’m not calling anybody who wants to be married next to a giraffe a bridezilla.
And I don’t care how much the long-necked homie objects to the ceremony. It’s not like giraffes talk much.
Who’s gonna know?
9. What a nice, warm reception! And I’m not just saying that because the last celebrity I met was afraid of me.
And yes, congratulations for figuring out why there’s no picture of us. That shot of them looking uncomfortable would’ve been perfect for my Twitter, too.
10. Yeah, this definitely beats just standing there and getting more and more upset as I watch my bus pull away from the other side of the street.
It’s a lot easier to deal with life’s little inconveniences when I just finished dominating somebody.
11. This is pretty special, but it’s probably gonna bring up the wrong kind of feels when you’re single with no car.
I definitely did not wake up expecting to feel jealous about two things at once. I maybe expected a nice breakfast, but that’s about it.
12. Ooof, and if I thought I felt single before, at least the people who exchanged that keychain were actually human.
What I am not about to do is watch lampposts getting boo’d up before I even get a text back. They are being really cute, though…
13. Aw, man, that sign was definitely getting my hopes up before I read the fine print, too.
I know it was unreasonable to expect them to stay in business after giving giant cinnamon rolls away for a buck, but a man can dream.
14. If bae automatically has a backup plan for when the heels start getting too intense, that’s a catch you don’t wanna throw back.
As sweet as it is to sacrifice their own shoes for their beloved’s comfort, let’s appreciate those who put the “thought” in thoughtful.
15. OK, I think the feelings here are a little stronger than “That must be nice.”
I wouldn’t say anything, though. That would make it less of a surprise when it’s time to walk up and liberate one of those bottles.
They’re lucky I don’t even like ketchup.
16. Yeah, I think a lot of us got the basic package when we turned 16, while this girl got the deluxe.
I’m not hating on her, though. Her happiness melts my heart. The basic package just didn’t have a lot going for it.
