You’ve heard the old expression before — “Be careful what you wish for, because you might just get it.”
These people have all learned that lesson and more, but never quite in the way that they expected. I’m just saying that sometimes, you don’t know what’s gonna happen when you put what you want out there. Sometimes you get it, and other times it just blows up in your face.
1. When you try to leave a passive-aggressive note, but people take you really literally.
I say that like it’s a thing that happens all of the time. Nobody does that. However, around the office here, leaving passive-aggressive notes is just going to get your roasted in the group chat.
2. Telling your mom that you want a really memorable birthday, and she sure does come through.
I don’t know if this would be funnier if his name was actually Dave, or if that’s just an extra kick to the gut.
3. Alright, now show us as much enthusiasm as you possibly can.
That is the look of a woman who sees the shenanigans going on around her and has literally less than no time for any of it. And honestly, I’m so proud of her.
4. Well, the good news is that we can come up with a pretty amazing Hulk costume. The bad news is that it’s going to be about 40% over your budget.
I realize it’s not perfect, but that’s an amazing Hulk costume so far. Maybe someone’s running around in purple pants and it’s supposed to be a couples’ costume?
5. Some kid had a very, very disappointing Christmas this year.
By the looks of things, these ended up at a thrift store somewhere, and I don’t think anyone working there had the hustle to try and pull this off. This was definitely a donation made out of disappointment.
6. All she wanted was a ride home. And boy, did she ever get it.
I’m also just impressed by how wildly inappropriate that sign would be if that was actually where she was coming back from.
7. Sometimes the worst thing that can happen when you try is people being able to see how much you struggled in the first place.
Take me, for instance. It would be way more embarrassing if you knew that I’m actually really trying when I write these things.
8. Yeah, I’ll build you a fence, but you can’t make me not be saucy about it.
I don’t think enough people take the time to be salty when they’re doing construction on their property. Life would be way more fun if more people did this.
9. I’m not even totally sure who’s responsible for this, but I’m sure enjoying seeing it.
I haven’t eaten meat in a while, is “extra wet” a normal thing to say about wings?
10. Sign’s up, boss! Anything else you need me to do?
I mean, to be fair, whoever put this up did literally what was asked of them. You’ve got to admire that kind of blind dedication.
11. How to know for sure that you and your neighbors are feuding.
At least they had the decency to clear the snow off and not just push it over to the Robertsons’ side of things.
12. If it looks stupid, but it works, it’s not stupid.
That being said, I do have to draw the line at not actually being able to use your mouth for fun stuff. Like popsicles, and popcorn. And other snacks that involve the word “pop.”
13. Well, you did technically get exactly what you asked for.
Thankfully, there’s little to no risk of this kind of thing happening on the job here. All the finger-sucking is 100% consensual.
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14. Spilling tea with Big D.
I’m honestly a little suspicious of this guy’s claim. I don’t know too many dads of teens who use what looks like Avatar: The Last Airbender pictures for their profile photos. Then again, maybe I’m just really uncool.
15. This guy understands that you’ll never land the shot if you don’t take it.
After all, if she’s going to talk big without getting specific, she can’t get mad when people try to sneak in through the loopholes.
16. Well, he wanted attention, and boy did he ever get it.
Unfortunately, there’s just no way that his haircut is ever going to live up to this story. That’s just facts.
17. And I would have gotten away with it too, if it wasn’t for you darned…guy we were trying to fool.
And here I am dressing in drag for all my friends, and I’ve yet to find a practical application for it.
18. If you’re gonna have a vague policy, you’re gonna have to deal with the consequences.
Not that I’ve ever been mad about being around a tortoise. They’re a cool animal. Fun fact — I have a friend who can’t pronounce the word tortoise. She says “tor-toys.” It’s adorable but embarrassing.
19. I mean, she got exactly what she asked for. She was just a little too vague about the timeline.
I someday wish to care about something as much as Doug cared about fulfilling his silent promise.
20. A very important lesson to learn in life is to not ask questions that you aren’t ready to hear the answers to.
Also a good lesson: If you don’t want to get compared to Shaggy, don’t look literally exactly like Shaggy.
21. I mean, she answered your question.
And, just in case my own family is reading this, I’m going to pretend that I don’t know what could possibly be salacious about this answer at all. It’s just a delightful misunderstanding.
22. I will never understand why people sign up for these roasts. My self-esteem is held-together validation from Facebook and a little bit of string cheese.
It’s not a great system, but it hasn’t completely fallen apart yet.
23. Apparently, this work was done by “an aspiring makeup artist.”
I’m gonna be real with y’all. I saw this makeup, and I knew that I was supposed to read it as bad, but I just don’t see it. So, apparently, just don’t let me do your makeup ever, okay?
24. Apparently, someone thought that they could photocopy an iPad.
It turns out that you cannot, in fact, photocopy an iPad. I mean, you can. You’re gonna destroy your black ink supply, though. And that’s the realest regret of them all.
