Honestly, I prefer the people who aren’t afraid to throw a little shade from time to time. When you take all those negative thoughts and feelings and store them inside, it’s not good for you. Letting it out is healthy.
But…
These people are sorta taking it to the next level. Take a look and ask yourself if you’d have the sheer courage to distribute this level of shade in your own life. And hey, if you think you’re up to it…just make sure you post it afterwards.
1. This right here? Hardcore level savagery.
The dedication of waking up (or staying up until?) 3 a.m., then grabbing the vacuum cleaner and running it around your ceiling? That’s some epic revenge fantasy material.
Plot twist: The neighbor vacuums his floor at like 8 p.m., and this dude is just mean.
2. Edith-Anne, you absolute legend.
The mark of a real salty savage is that they’ll spend time on it. Hey, as long as I’m stuck here stitching this stupid thing, might as well show my teacher how much of a waste of time this is!
3. OK, yes, the cat’s face is totally hilarious. I think we can all agree on that.
But for real — you put your onions right next to the cat’s food and water dishes? What exactly did you think was going to happen here?
4. For real, is this the same cat?
Is this some sort of legendary troll who travels the world, tripping children and digging up onions? Or — and here’s my other theory — is it not the same cat and I’m just reading too much into this?
5. To be fair, I don’t really care about the pope or Harry Potter.
But for a grandma to do this is pretty amazing, since she’s way more likely to care about the first one. Hey, when you gotta get your Hogwarts on, I guess…
6. He’s got a point. I like my BBQ crispy and a little charred for that flavor, but I do like for there to still be edible meat on it.
But thanks, Moe, it can always use a bit more salt.
7. That’s gotta hurt, being run out of your own prom photos and replaced with Ryan Reynolds.
And that dude is a top-tier Twitter savage himself, so I bet he appreciates it.
8. You know you’ve over-seasoned your food when your produce gives you some legit attitude.
Joke’s on you, broccoli — I’ll be picking you out of my teeth in an hour.
9. Maybe my favorite expression of the day is “we’re both wrong, but more importantly, you’re wrong.”
I don’t think I could say it any better myself. I might get that as my next tattoo.
10. The madman. You break up outside, sitting on the curb, looking the other way, and eating Cheetos.
Like, if an ice cream truck was coming down the street and he got himself a cone, this would get a movie adaptation green-lit ASAP.
11. I love the complete lack of surprise on the daughter’s part.
Like, of course you said yes. We know you said yes. You’ve said yes at least four times already.
12. At first I thought this might be a particularly savage employee, but no. It was Hellmann’s. They did it themselves.
Take that, vegans. You know who you are. In fact, so do the rest of us, because you won’t shut up about it.
13. Anybody who describes tanning as their sole hobby is probably a trash person, but never judge a book by its cover.
Feel free to judge the book by who it’s banging, though.
14. I wonder if it would hurt any less if it wasn’t coming for Valentine’s Day.
I feel like this would be hurtful out of the blue in July, right? Maybe?
15. Foot lettuce, move over. There’s a movie theater employee who’s just as pissed off, and he’s adding floor spice to make the popcorn nice.
This really sucks, because I used to like eating popcorn at the movies. He got me, too.
16. Next step: Get a second, identical box.
Put a real organ in it.
Hide your real lunch box in the back and let someone find the decoy.
Look for a new job on Craigslist (after you get fired).
17. Without meaning to, I think this kid found the most savage way to be sweet ever.
After all, not only does it usually not help to hear you’re “so close to number one,” but I love how they also crossed out the other teachers’ names.
I’m not sure whether that’s because they don’t count or because the kid thinks Mr. Westphal will fly into a jealous rage if he finds out who beat him.
18. There were a few times in my life when I was glad this wasn’t my professor’s policy.
I swear, my assignment was just as good five minutes later as it was in the exact moment it was due. But to this professor, all late assignments become the equivalent of cold McDonald’s fries.
19. This both makes a lot more sense and becomes a lot more savage when you understand the context.
The uploader’s dad apparently gave them this bag of peanuts after they got into an argument. The uploader is allergic to peanuts.
Yikes. I feel lucky to have never argued with my dad that intensely.
20. I’m not saying these girl scouts won’t go far in the real world, but I think that says more about the real world than them.
Because as lowkey horrified as I am by this move, there’s still a little voice in my head saying, “Well, from a business standpoint…”
21. I don’t think I’ve ever seen such a bitter, sarcastic “happy anniversary” in my life.
I’m also wondering if that second date was added in just because the customers didn’t get what they were celebrating.
22. I’ve seen a lot of angry signs about bike thieves, but none of them were this metal.
I’m also a little puzzled as to why they don’t want the bike back when they cared about it enough to draw it.
Maybe they figure it’s nothing without the little flag and lightning bolt. Or maybe they’re willing to sacrifice it as long as the thief suffers eternally.
Since the second one sounds better when I growl it, I’m guessing that’s the right one.
23. This is definitely the kind of answer I’d expect when asking a stressed minimum wage employee to write a joke on my delivery.
That said, I can’t help but wonder if drawing the Joker’s face next to it would be good for intimidating the customer into a bigger tip.
24. Well, I suppose that whoever drives this bus isn’t wrong.
I also wouldn’t be surprised if they’re a dad because that’s exactly the kind of thing mine would say if he drove a bus.
He’d be super proud of it, too.
25. The mother-in-law who gave the uploader this cake is quite the evil genius.
Not only was she able to get an unexpected threat in, but she also has plausible deniability if they’re gutsy enough to ask her about it.
26. Where there’s a will, there’s a way.
And in this case, it’s pretty clear that there was a super strong will to not go to prom with this kid.
If only I could do this to windows that just make me click “OK.”
27. Might wanna see a mechanic about that one.
I know we like to clown on BMW drivers for not using their blinkers, but my wrath lies with Audi drivers. The day will come where I cut you off, then you’ll know how it feels.
28. “Celebrating Christmas with my wife’s family when suddenly…”
Being in any other house than my own for Christmas is stressful. Not only do I have to be nice, I have to be extra nice, it’s Christmas!
29. “Courtesy of my local PD.”
If a PD is posting this, you know there’s a problem. Roundabouts are, like, the most fun part about driving, how does everyone get it so wrong?
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30. Talk about being criminally cheap.
Maybe this was their first debit card theft, they were still too nervous to spend too much.
31. “A few days ago a car drove through an Arby’s. This was their sign today.”
I’m less shocked about the car driving through the wall and more impressed they were still open a few days later.
32. “Photos I take of my boyfriend vs photos he takes of me.”
Maybe he doesn’t feel the need to take more standard pictures of you because he already thinks your so beautiful all the time! Maybe! Maybe!
33. This is really something to celebrate.
I’ve never understood this. You’re not all going to get off the plane first, I’m begging you to chill out and sit down.
34. This tenant got a note from their landlord saying there was no hot water, and decided to rewrite it to show what really happened.
The fact that I and a lot of other tenants can absolutely relate to this is kind of sad. If only we all had the same strength to be as passive-aggressive as this person.
35. “Set up my Mom’s updated TV system yesterday.”
If only it were this easy. You know she’s gonna find a way to press something under the tape and will call you immediately after.
36. Is this considered an impression?
Was she a chestnut? Cuz she just got roasted. Wow I hated typing that, sorry.
37. “My kid did this portrait of me over 10 years ago. I still look the same, IMO.”
Who’s even the one throwing shade here? The daughter for that portrait? The mom for the recreation of the bad portrait? This has levels.
38. “My 4 year old niece can’t read and bought me this birthday card because it featured ‘a cute dog with a party hat’.”
Suuure, that’s what she told you I bet, but with kids you can never tell their true motivations.
39. “Recently had a CT scan and noticed this in the report.”
Yikes. This hit of shame would keep me away from the doctor’s office for a long while.
40. Working from home with kids.
I actually really like this. It’s efficient and clever, funny and effective. I don’t think it’ll stop your kids but it was a good effort.
41. Traffic light blues.
May we all feel ashamed of our slight delayed reaction at every green light from here on out. Those honking with impatience are truly the ones in the right.
