Much like how we don’t learn the full story of life in Australia by focusing on the dangerous animals that live there, the rise of the “Florida Man” meme gives us the impression that Florida is a state where chaos reigns at all times.
For the unaware, there are a rash of eye-catching headlines that feature people from Florida getting arrested during wild activities like climbing on playground equipment and aggressively telling children where babies comes from.
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However, a large part of the reason these headlines always come from Florida is that, according to the Miami New Times , Florida’s Sunshine Law ensures that essentially all government business there is open to the public, including arrest records.
So with such a wealth of wild arrests to pick from, some Twitter users found an opportunity to play a little game.
Twitter user @g_pratimaaa found an idea on Tumblr: Google Florida Man and your birthday and see what you get.
If it works and your birthday is lucky enough, you should find one or more news articles from that day detailing one of Florida Man’s bizarre adventures. The person involved is then “your” Florida Man.
Note: You may have to wade through a few search results talking about this very challenge.
For instance, by searching “Flroida Man august 22,” @g_pratimaaa found a tale of a harrowing tractor attack.
Specifically, one Florida Man’s disagreement with his neighbor escalated to such a degree that he tried to menace them in the least stealthy and efficient way possible.
Another user’s Florida Man may have been about as wild, but was far less ambitious about it.
This one was arrested for shoplifting from a Kohl’s where they had just finished interviewing for a job.
Shockingly, they didn’t get hired.
Florida Man may not be someone we want to hang around, but one user born on November 13 discovered, he can have his wholesome moments.
For one thing, this Florida Man was just pulled over for modifying their car to look like the Flintstones’ “footmobile.”
Unfortunately, that hasn’t been street legal since we used birds to do the laundry.
Also while some users were disappointed by their Florida Man’s actions, Kayla Hodges of Viriginia found hers surprisingly relatable.
As she showed in a screenshot , her Florida man was arrested for trying to befriend (and ride) some wild manatees.
Unfortunately, that constitutes harassment, so he had to wear some handcuffs.
R&B star John Legend also wanted to play, so he entered his birthday, (December 28) into the fray.
His Florida Man was certainly daring, but not a very good planner.
He was arrested for stealing a TV, but the problem was that it had already broken after falling from his getaway moped.
One user’s Florida Man discovered that once you become an adult, giving somebody a wet willy doesn’t just lead to a scolding.
He didn’t do it quite like this dog, but his girlfriend had no time for it regardless and had him arrested.
Although certain birthdays led to some wild Florida Men, Patrick Joy of Orlando might have the winner.
In a case that likely doesn’t get any clearer once you learn all the details, a man’s threat to his family that somehow involved Coldplay lyrics led to a standoff that could only be resolved after SWAT members offered him pizza.
I’ve heard of life imitating art, but this sounds like life imitating Mad Libs.
Of course, I had to enter my own birthday (January 28) and get my own Florida Man.
It turns out mine made the unfortunate mistake of stealing laxatives, which he thought were opioids.
And yes, it sounds like he found out what they really were the hard way.
